I Absolutely Refuse to Leave Inheritance to a Family That Treats Me Like an ATM

Family & kids
3 weeks ago
I Absolutely Refuse to Leave Inheritance to a Family That Treats Me Like an ATM

Anna, 75, sent us a powerful letter that shook our readers. After a lifetime of hard work, she learned her family valued her money more than her love. Heartbroken but resolute, Anna made a bold choice: to finally put herself first. Here’s her moving, dramatic story.

Here’s an email Anna sent to us and her story:

"Hi Bright Side,

I just turned 75, and honestly, I thought I’d be surrounded by family and love by now. Instead, I got a birthday “gift” that made my stomach drop.

A bit of background: I worked as a nurse for 45 years: long shifts, weekends, holidays. I saved every penny, bought my house at 50, and built a modest retirement fund. Nothing extravagant, just enough to live comfortably.

My son (44) used to be kind. But somewhere along the way, I became “the money source.” His wife, Maya, keeps things polite but distant. The grandkids don’t know me unless there’s a check involved.

I’ve helped them a lot: paid for part of their house renovation, loaned money that was never paid back, and even gifted them a family vacation. But when I needed help after a bad fall, my son told me to “hire someone.”

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Anna, you have done the right thing in my view. I have been estranged from my mother for many years after being her target for mental abuse my entire life (in part due to her mental illness). My 2 youngest children have also been her target on many occasions in very cruel attacks & both ceased contact. My oldest son however (the 1st grandchild she lived close to & saw almost daily as a baby & toddler) has always been treated as a favourite. He has always maintained contact despite living a 14 hour drive away, with regular phone calls, flowers on special occasions & at least one road trip a year to see her. I know he doesn't care about her net worth (which is megar) as him and his wife make a decent living, own their home & enjoy trips etc. Recently my mother was dividing her assets and going into a rental at 97 years. My son would only agree to take some money if it legally put into trust for his children's education. He was also sent with a message to my younger 2 children to get in touch. (One of them has 3 children and the other has none) They both declined citing their relationship with her and saying "getting in touch" would not be to reconnect in any way. I'm very proud of them doing what's right and not being greedy.
Enjoy your money while you can, your son & his family are greedy and very unkind. If you lived in a retirement home with no assets, It doesn't sound like they would be frequent visitors or contribute to your comfort in any way.
Even if you have to do a reverse mortgage, reward all your hard work; enjoy some trips and a lovely cruise!

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This year, I invited them for a small birthday dinner. My son handed me an envelope and said, “Open it when you’re alone.” I thought it was a sweet card or maybe a photo. Nope. It was a spreadsheet titled Mom’s Property and Market Value. Every item I own has a note about who should get it. House, jewelry, stocks, all neatly “assigned.”

I sat there that night and cried. Not because they wanted my stuff, but because it finally clicked: they don’t love me. They love what I have.

So two weeks later, I called them over again and read my new will. Everything I own is going to an elder care home I support. My son turned red, Maya looked shocked, and the grandkids didn’t even glance up from their phones.

I haven’t heard from them since. And honestly, I feel lighter. But I still wonder, did I go too far? Am I the bad guy here?"

Bright Side readers shared their raw opinions about Anna’s tough family situation:

  • quietpine_92:
    You didn’t go too far at all. You worked your whole life and earned the right to decide what happens with what’s yours. If they only cared about your money, losing the inheritance is the least they deserve.
  • Mira.kay
    I feel torn. I get why you did it, but cutting your family off completely... that’s huge. Maybe a smaller gesture could’ve made the point without ending the relationship.
  • user2021x
    This broke my heart. My grandma went through something similar. People forget that money can be replaced, but once trust is gone, it’s over. I hope you find peace with your choice.

Enjoy the silence. When my mother -my last living parent, my father died the year before - died, all the family came to the funeral and paid their respects, got a few questions about what I was getting, and a couple of asks for loans from my father's USPS pension. I cut everyone off, knowing I wasn't going to see them ever again. I never went to my godmother's funeral and never saw any of them again. Now I hear I'm the last one living. I win.

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The one thing I remember most is my grandpa telling me, who lived 125 miles away..he saw me more than most of the 8 kids..my mom took grandma to church so she was around..and the youngest brother helped with things that needed doing..it made my heart so sad..

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I'd make sure everything is set in stone, maybe leave them each $200 so they can't contest the will.
How awful of your son and his family. You should make sure your home has caneras and the locks are changed (if he/they have keys) and go on a nice vacation.

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Wow! That's presumptuous and also clueless. I wouldn't have changed my will and told them. I would have just done it and let them find out. Grandma's surprise.

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This breaks my heart. I watched my dad's siblings tear each other apart when he was dealing with my grans estate and then again with my grandads. Both grandparents were clear with what they wanted to give to who but my aunt and uncles all felt like they each deserved more. My brother and I swore we'd never be like that.

My dad was recently told to get his affairs in order. My parents arranged a get together for myself and my brother. To let us know the arrangements.

Part of this was to tell us we'd each be left a modest sum from our dad and then a larger sum from our mum. We both, without hesitation, told them not to concern themselves with our finances. They should spend their money as they see fit to enjoy life while they can.

During that discussion, we all agreed, everything should go to our mum. They built it together and it would allow her to continue to live comfortably without dads income.

No hard feelings, no love lost. We didnt grow up wealthy, my parents worked hard, sometimes multiple jobs to keep a roof over our head and food in our belly. Im happy they've got to a place where they can live comfortably. I just wish they could enjoy it together for a little longer.

I absolutely agree with op. Her golden years should be peaceful, stressfree and simply enjoying the last chapter of her life. The fact her life feels lighter without her son in it, says it all.

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It's a shame that more people are not as smart and responsible as you and your brother. Your parents raised you well. Money or not, your parents are leaving you a LIFETIME OF LOVE. THAT IS A PRICELESS INHERITANCE.

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To Mira.kay: She didn't cut off contact with her we on. He did that after he was told the terms of his mother's new Will.
The moral of the story: even if you view your relative as an ATM, don't be so obvious. Remember that every Will can be changed.

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This is heartbreaking but you're still alive and you need to take advantage of all that you've wanted and missed out on. Look nothing hurts more than when sly words turn your beloved children against, despite you never turning your back. But you can't hold on to that pain. You did your best , blood ,sweat, and tears. You can't change people but you can change for your own good. Feeling sorry never helps. Please promise yourself that you won't give up on life. Enjoy what you can, while you can. As another commented stated make sure your lawyer is on team you and good at it. Your son gave you a horrible birthday present,you responded in kind. Don't tell them your plans either. Tell someone that will sound the alarm and actually cares for you. Go have some fun. You earned it, you deserve it.

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You did not go too far. He didn't want YOUR ASSETS to stay in the family, HE WANTS THEM FOR HIMSELF, PERIOD. PLEASE make sure that YOUR WILL is VERY SPECIFIC ABOUT WHERE YOUR ASSETS GO. Make sure that if he or anyone else tries to contest your WILL, that they are immediately cut off from anything minor you might have left them. Do NOT use the terms FAMILY OR RELATIVES in your Will. Be VERY SPECIFIC AND USE LEGAL NAMES OF BUSINESSES and EXECUTORS. DON'T let them try to guilt you or shame you, they have treated you like a personal piggy bank long enough. They will try every trick in the book to wear you down. If you can continue to remain no contact with them you will be better off. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with the selfishness and ingratitude of your own family. Hang in there sister. You have already proven how strong you are. DON'T BACK DOWN.

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  • silverfish88:
    I can kind of see it from your son’s side. Maybe he thought you’d want your assets to stay “in the family.” Not saying the spreadsheet was okay, but maybe it was clumsy, not cruel.
  • neoncat!
    The spreadsheet alone tells you everything you need to know. That’s not “practical,” it’s disrespectful. You’re not a wallet. You’re their mother.
  • brad_77:
    You sound really hurt, and understandably so. But I wonder if the years of distance and resentment built up on both sides. Maybe therapy or mediation could help, even now.

I am not a frequent visitor to this page but some of the responses that were right after the article infuriated me enough to respond. The mira, silverfish, and brad people are totally clueless! Did they not read her letter?? She has been treated horribly by her son and daughter in law and to say she may have gone too far is ridiculous. Honestly anyone that takes up or gives her son excuses may not be treating a loved one(s) any better than this lady's son! Inheritance is not a guarantee it is an act of love for those who deserve it!

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  • owlonmydesk
    Nope, not a villain. Just a woman finally setting a boundary. And honestly, the silence afterward says everything about their priorities.
  • luna_reacts
    I think your reaction came from a place of pain, not revenge. You wanted them to see you, not your net worth. Sadly, it sounds like they never did.
  • F0xglove23
    That letter to them about the will was actually kind of bold. Harsh, yes, but also fair. You turned your disappointment into something meaningful.

Bright Side team has a piece of advice for Anna:

Dear Anna,

You’ve spent your life giving: your time, care, and money, to people who forgot what gratitude looks like. What you did wasn’t cruel; it was a boundary drawn in permanent ink. Still, it might help to write your son a short, calm letter explaining why you made that choice, not to justify yourself, but to close the door gently, not slam it. It could give you peace even if he never replies. At the same time, try to build new connections: volunteering, book clubs, even online communities, where kindness isn’t conditional. You deserve to be seen as a person, not a balance sheet.

For nearly three decades, Susan raised a little boy who wasn’t born to her, but who became her entire world. Instead of gratitude, Susan was met with something far colder. In a single, casual sentence, all those years of sleepless nights and unconditional care were dismissed, as if she was nothing more than a stranger crashing someone else’s family celebration. Gently but firmly pushed aside — unwelcome and invisible.

Her story made us question: how fragile are the bonds we believe to be unbreakable? How easily can love be overshadowed by ignorance or pride? We invite you to read Susan’s full letter here. She needs your opinion and advice.

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