I Refuse to Let My Grandkids Move In, I Already Raised My Family Once

2 weeks ago

I Refuse to Let My Grandkids Move In, I Already Raised My Family Once

Our home is our haven, the one place we go if we want a moment of peace. And we’d like to think that our kids will always be welcome in our house. But sometimes a line has to be drawn and emotions need to be put aside. One of our readers shared her experience with this.

This is Margaret’s story.

Janet Owen

2 weeks ago

Sounds like she is taking advantage of the fact that you are her mother and thinks that that gives her the right to just show up at your door and assume she can just move right in. You need to let her know that you love her but that dosnt give her the right to just show up at your door and move in. She seems to think that she can just show up unannounced and just start running your life.. She needs a reality check and needs to understand that she can't just show up and expect you to just rearrange your life just to accommodate her . That's just rude and unacceptable. She needs a reality check to open her eyes and realize that the world dosnt revolve around her kids or no kids. Just tell her NO and stick with it. Dont let her try to pull a pity stunt on you because she's a grown woman has to realize that she can't just show up and assume she can just show up and move in. It don't work like that. A couple of days is one thing but moving in is a different story and you shouldn't be expected to change your life just like that for nothing. She needs to grow up and stop expecting mommy to bail her out. That's why they call it tough love and most parents have had to use it at some time. It may not be easy but nobody ever said being a parent was easy. Stand strong and DONT BACK DOWN!!!!!

Dear Bright Side,

I always thought I did a good job at preparing my daughter for adulthood. But what she did recently has me questioning that. My daughter is 30, she has two kids and a well paying job. She’s the kind of child you don’t think you’ll need to worry about because she has it all sorted out.

But a few weeks ago, my daughter showed up at my door with her kids and a few bags of clothes. It was unexpected, but I liked the surprise. Thinking they had come for a visit, I asked if they wanted to spend the night. I had no idea how wrong I was.

My daughter started crying as she explained that her lease had ended, and she didn’t have another place lined up. She came over because she thought I’d help until she could sort the situation out. I was furious. I had never known my daughter to be so irresponsible.

So I started questioning her. It’s normal for a landlord to contact you at least a month before your lease expires to ask if you want to renew or not. How did she end up in this situation? My daughter said that it just slipped her mind, which made me even angrier.

Jamie Wilson

2 weeks ago

I am calling major BS on this article.

It was like she just expected everyone to bend to her needs instead of being an adult and sorting out her own problems. So I refused to help her. It was time for her to take responsibility for her actions and learn to do things the right way.

A week later, she showed up again. This time she was alone and there were no tears. Turns out, she decided to give me an ultimatum. She said, “You can either take us in or I’ll have to put the children with their dad full-time, and you know how unreliable he is.”

I told her that I already raised three children of my own and that I would not be raising my grandchildren as well. If she was incapable of being a mother, then maybe she should send the kids to live with their dad. At least then they would have a stable living environment.

She left after that, and I haven’t seen her or the kids since. So Bright Side, what do you think? Was I too harsh on my daughter?

Regards,
Margaret K.

Some advice from our Editorial team.

Phyllis Popp

2 weeks ago

Not sure what else was so important that she didn't bother to secure housing for herself and the kids. Glad the dad is in the picture. Perhaps you can reach out to him to get the real story. Who knows if this woman has enough space to accommodate her daughter and the grandkids. Doesn't sound like the daughter has a plan and if she lands there it might be very hard to get her out.

Dear Margaret,

Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing your story.

If you want true clarity moving forward, stop framing this as a question of whether you were too harsh and start examining what your daughter’s ultimatum actually revealed.

She wasn’t asking you to raise her kids, she was panicking, cornered, and using fear to force a safety net she should have built herself. The real work now is not rescuing her but reopening communication in a way that separates accountability from abandonment.

Reach out once, calmly and without judgment, and make it clear that you won’t provide housing on demand, but you will help her build a sustainable plan: budgeting, childcare schedules, emergency contacts, and even coaching her on managing leases and paperwork.

This gives her exactly what she lacked at that moment: structure, not rescue; support, not surrender. It also puts the responsibility back where it belongs, on her, while reminding her that a single mistake doesn’t make her a failed adult or mother.

Your boundary wasn’t wrong, but the silence that followed is what can turn a teachable moment into a permanent fracture. The next step isn’t taking her in, it’s reopening the door to problem-solving together as two adults, not as parent and dependent.

Margaret finds herself in a difficult situation. But it’s not one that can’t be worked out with patience and commitment to her rules.

She isn’t the only one with family struggles, though. Another one of our readers reached out. Read the full story here: My Daughter Refused to Let Me Hold My Grandchild — Her Reason Broke Me.

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Shannin Bushey

2 weeks ago

I had a very bad accident over a year ago I was in a coma for 3 weeks in ICU for a month in the hospital for 4 months and then a rehabilitation center after that I lost everything the doctors told my family they didn't think I was going to make it but my mom took my daughter I couldn't breathe on my own I had ALot of surgeries when I woke up I couldn't move my arms or legs couldn't eat was tube fed couldn't talk but I don't know where I would be if my mom didn't let me stay here and help me with my daughter I think you are a terrible person family is supposed to help family when my mother needs me when she is older I will be there to take care of her when she can't anymore I won't put her in a nursing home alone to get horrible care don't worry you didn't want to help them when they needed it when you need it I hope she puts you in a nursing home then you can be all alone in there I'm a single mother and I don't know what I would do without my mother's help since the day my daughter was born its hard daycare is so expensive I had to work overnights so my mom watched my daughter at night id have her the rest of the time but there's no way I could pay all my bills and daycare so thank God for my mother the past 14 years

rose smith

2 weeks ago

Not telling Mom in advance she needed help to find a place she has a good job but did not look for a place expected her to let her in unanouced try to blackmail her by refusing to ever let her see her grandkids these are big fat red flags my sis in laws did that to my mom in law if she refused to babysit and take kids to school and pick up etc they threatened to never let her see them so her daughter was being very dishonest she was hiding her true in tent lady you probably saved you economic mentle and moral peace

Wil Scott

2 weeks ago

Might of flew off the handle a tad!!

Theresa Anderson

2 weeks ago

Nta you did the right thing. Just the fact that she's trying to blackmail you with the children tells me all I need to know. The other comments here are people who've done everything for their children all of their life I guarantee you. Sometimes you do have to let your children see that you mean business she will be okay. And if she had to threaten to leave them with their father maybe they should be with their father exactly as you said. They can stay with the other responsible parent while she gets herself together. They are the ones that had a good time making those children let him take care of their responsibilities as well. As you say you know your children. She may be at a point that she doesn't want to work anymore she might quit her job when she moves in and then what. The people in these comments are not going to be there to help you pay for her bills the children's bills and the electric bills when she moves in with her children. Anybody can say what they want to in these comments but do we actually know that they're living what they're saying. Tell yourself the truth not your truth but the truth. She did this on purpose I guarantee it. No one forgets their rent is due. And she never said she didn't have the money. And as much as rent is these days how can you forget you have to put a roof over your children's head. I'm sorry but she's up to something. And for the other commenters as a parent you are to guide your children so that they may make the right decisions. And one of the decisions is not to come back home and use your parents.

Mark

2 weeks ago

You did a ABSOLUTELY PERFECT RESPONSE to your daughter's situation 👍
Your daughter had opportunity to square her and her children's living situation up
She chose to be immature and not handle her responsibility
If she has a well paying job lived in same residence that just doesn't evict you
I'm sure she has monthly rent withdrawn np
Apparently She CHOSE TO NO RENEW HER RENT
SHE CHOSE TO DISPLACE HER CHILDREN
SHE CHOSE TO BE A SPOILED POS
Thinking she could just come back to you unannounced and expect you to buckle
YOU MOM STUCK TO YOUR BELIEVE AND I AGREE 1,000% WITH YOU
Apparently he children's lives didn't matter to her so just shows how PATHETIC she is
DONT FEEL BAD MOM
UR DAUGHTER DISTROYED HER KIDS SAFETY AND SECURITY SO ITS ALL ON HER
AGAIN SHE IS WRONG AND IF SHE DOESNT WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH U SO BE IT
LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH NO REGRETS
You did your job making sure she was established since SHE SH-T on her family lives let her fester in her non caring pathetic world also show her kids what they mean to their mother
TRUTH HURTS it's called Life.