I Don’t Want to Make “Trendy” Diet Meals for My Stepdaughter — Now Her Mother Hates Me

Family dynamics can be complex, especially when stepparents and children are involved. A woman on Reddit recently shared her challenging situation concerning her stepdaughter’s diet and her role within it. Dive into the full story in our article to understand more.

What was the situation?

My 15-year-old stepdaughter has been living with us every week for the past year and has been challenging when it comes to food. Initially, she adopted a vegan diet, which I accommodated by preparing meals without animal products. However, she quickly transitioned to a holistic diet and developed allergies to various foods.

Now, my stepdaughter avoids lactose and gluten. She insists on separating food and cookware, even discarding items from the pantry that she believes cause stomach pain. I suggested she eat outside or handle her own cooking and cleaning, which angered her. My husband started yelling at me because of this situation.

After suggesting my stepdaughter seek professional help for her eating issues, it was revealed that she had no allergies. Despite this revelation, she remained adamant about her dietary beliefs. Frustrated and reaching a breaking point, I started adding gluten and lactose to her meals, which she unknowingly consumed without any adverse effects. When her mother visited and praised her daughter’s improved health due to her new diet, I calmly pointed out that she had been eating the same food as the rest of us.

This revelation led to a confrontation, resulting in my stepdaughter and her mother leaving our home. My husband was upset with me because his daughter no longer wanted to live with us. In response, I made it clear that if he wanted his daughter to live with him, he could move out. Subsequently, they filed a lawsuit against me, but I stand by my actions. I refuse to cater to the demands of a teenager with unfounded beliefs about food, especially given my demanding job as a nurse.

I believe I acted in the best interest of our family’s well-being and cannot afford the time or energy to comply with unrealistic expectations driven by unsupported dietary beliefs. Am I wrong in this stance?

How have people online reacted?

The overwhelming majority of users rallied behind the author, expressing anger towards the husband’s response, his failure to support his wife, and his apparent inability to address his own child’s needs.

• Your husband started yelling at you about it? Congratulations husband, you are now your daughter’s chief chef and bottle washer. My_Name_Is_Amos / Reddit
• If your husband wants to back up his daughter so much, he’ll learn how to support her dietary needs. His pawning it off on you and then yelling at you while he does nothing all shows just how “supportive” he actually is. If her mom is drinking the Kool-Aid, she can send your stepdaughter batched meals that can be heated up by Little Miss Princess. eternally_feral / Reddit
• She wanted a separate, different menu. Your husband is stretching how long incompetence can be sexy with his inability to cook. Being a good father doesn’t make him a good husband. He doesn’t seem to respect you as a partner or as a professional unless his credentials exceed your own in the healthcare industry, he should pull his head out of the sand and listen. Last-Butterscotch-68 / Reddit

Many also agreed that there are likely unresolved mental health issues that the girl’s parents should pay closer attention to. Some even suggested that the parents themselves might have underlying mental health issues that need addressing.

• You are right that this kid needs psychological evaluation along with both her parents. Suffering1s0ptional / Reddit
• This screams eating disorder and a conversion disorder as well, weirdly... All of this chaos is likely for attention. Wise-Adhesiveness129 / Reddit
• This sounds like orthorexia & her parents are just gleefully encouraging it. She’s 15, she has 2 living parents. Feeding her shouldn’t be your job, since you obviously aren’t up to her exacting standards. Her mama can send her with food or her daddy can turn the stove on. WastelandMama / Reddit

However, there were also a few individuals who pointed out something that the author should not have done.

• I understand why you did it, especially since the allergy test was negative. But no one should be fed things deceptively. You should have simply refused to cater to her demands. Hey-Just-Saying / Reddit
• Maybe unpopular opinion, but I think it’s always wrong to lie to someone about what is in their food. That said, she can make her own meals. Longjumping_Crab_345 / Reddit

When Emma, as a stepmother, declined to host her stepson’s birthday party at her home, it ignited tensions with the child’s mother. Delve into her full story here.