Get out of the house now even if it means you're sleeping on someone's couch. It's just long enough for you to get your own place.
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I Refuse to Provide for My Stepmom After She Quit Her Job on Purpose — I Am Not a Credit Card
Family & kids
2 months ago
The transition into adulthood is supposed to be a time of building a foundation. However, in some families, a child’s first paycheck is seen as an open faucet for the parents’ needs. When parents stop working or increase their spending the moment a child starts earning, it creates a “success tax” that can trap a young professional in a cycle of debt and guilt before their career even begins.
Here is the letter sent to us.
Hey Bright Side,
I finally did it. After years of studying, I landed my first full-time job four months ago. It’s an entry-level salary, and between rent, student loans, and groceries, I am barely making ends meet. I thought my parents would be proud of my independence, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Last week, during a casual Sunday dinner, my stepmom announced she had quit her job. She didn’t have a new one lined up; she just said she was “done.” When I asked how they planned to cover the bills, she looked at me and said, “Well, you’re working now. You can support the family.”
I looked at my dad in disbelief, waiting for him to shut this down. Instead, I froze in shock when he smiled and said:
“We fed and clothed you for 23 years. A few months of help isn’t asking much.”
Suddenly, it clicked. My stepmom didn’t quit because she was tired; she quit on purpose the very week my benefits kicked in, knowing they could guilt me into bankrolling their lifestyle. They aren’t asking for a “helping hand,” they are trying to retire on my entry-level salary, using my childhood expenses as a debt I never signed up for. What can I do? Please, help!
Best
Natasha
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Freeze your Credit Reports to prevent them opening any "joint accounts" and leave you holding the bag for their spending sprees. Good luck!
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I am amazed at most of these comments. They have supported her all her life rightly so. Now she is earning and an adult it is only right that she should contribute to the family bills etc. All the while having something to spend and perhaps save for her next home. I was very proud to bring home my first wage to pay my share of the home and food expenses.
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That's true for many. I help my grandparents (who raised me) all the time. But we truly don't know their true relationships. What is really going on. Sometimes parents can purposely being a burden. Some are not and would never financially be a burden. It doesn't mean the adult child would not want to help out. But no one want to be taken advantage of. I grew up in an era if you live with your parents as an grown adult. You contribute to the family and home. The arrangement is made between you and your parents. Now many parents and their adult children don't do that. And if you was old enough ( past 9) you had chores that need to done in the home. Again between the parent and their child.
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While you do make some valid points, these "parents" aren't asking for "help". They are trying to emotionally blackmail Natasha into SUPPORTING THEM. She DOESN'T OWE them anything. If you only have children, so they will take care of you, when you get older, then you SHOULD NOT BE HAVING CHILDREN. These people aren't even parents, they ARE, LAZY SELFISH, GREEDY, BRAINLESS ASSHOLES.
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She didn't ask to be here. It's our obligation as parents to take care of our children. She said she was struggling with rent, food and student loans so what is she supposed to use to take care of another household. Be realistic.
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They supported her all her life because that was their responsibility as parents/guardians. As an 18 year old, she is certainly not making enough to support an entire family. She is for sure, not making enough for stepmom to quit her job. As a freshly turned adult, it is not her job to support the entire family. Contribute, sure. There is no "and perhaps save for her next home." She should definitely be having enough to save for her next home.
If they feel the need to be paid back for doing their job as parents/guardians then they should not have kids.
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She pays her own rent. Did you not read that line. If she has her own place and pays her own bills, then she does not need to contribute to a household she's not part of. Parents dont expect repayment for raising their children, at least not good ones
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2 months ago
This comment is in the X-files.
Eff you
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So they want to take all your wages off you so you can't move out, parents aren't owed childhood expenses even if adult child wins lottery
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Sadly you should NEVER see or talk to these two ever again!! Hopefully, they are pranking you otherwise, they have the mentality of a mentally disturbed criminal. They’re not good people, run while you can and pretend you never knew them.
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You owe them nothing !!! Don't feel guilty and move before they rob you blind. 2 grown adults trying to guilt you in to taking care of them. Tell them when they finally go into a nursing home you may bring them snacks and socks.
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If you went to a bank and asked for twenty-three years of free money, they’d laugh you out of the building. Your father provided that 'loan' with 0% interest and a smile. Now the 'balloon payment' is due. You aren't 'bankrolling' them; you’re finally starting to pay back the principal. If you can’t handle a 'few months' of help, you’re essentially admitting you’re a bad investment
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Parents are legally obligated to support their children. Payback is NOT required. If you don't want to pay the expenses of a child, keep your pants zipped up.
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Kids aren't monetary investments. You create them, you dont buy stocks in them. You recoup what you spend. Your returns are in love, pride, and joy. If you walked in to a bank asked them the APR on 23 yo they'd laugh in your face. Your kids are only a bad investment when you're a bad parent
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She's their child!! What are you talking about? You sound ignorant. I hope you don't have children.
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2 months ago
Big Brother is watching you.
I hope you dont have kids. When dad and mom rolled around in the sack having fun, he didn't ask to become part of it. He became dad's responsibility as soon as he was formed and until at least the age of 18. He owes them zero!
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Me my reply would be hope the weather keeps fine = NO NO NO BYE
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Tell them BOTH absolutely NOT! Do you even live with them?? Sounds like you live on your own if not move out NOW!! Rent a room if necessary but get out! Btw raising a child was THEIR problem not yours!! Maybe your so called father should have kept it in his pants....tell him that next time he brings up having to support you. Where is your bio mom?? Cuz I tell you as a mother I'd have her head on my mantle😈
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No is a complete sentence!
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Don't help them. Plain and simple, DON'T! No is a complete sentence. If you do help them they will NEVER leave you alone
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If this is a strategy to get OP to move out of home it's a nasty manipulative one (probably your step mothers idea too). Run, go live your own life. If your parents can't support you emotionally and financially while you slowly stretch your wings, it's time to concentrate just on your own needs.
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Find a place and move out.
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Father is a butthole and obviously remarried to his level.
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Natasha. When you choose to have a child, you are committing legally and morally, to raise and pay for that child until at least the age of 18. If your student loans are squeezing you, you probably paid your own way minus any student aid for college.
Sit down and make a simple spreadsheet. Start with your take
home pay. Then list your rent, any car payment, insurance and utilities and add your student loans. Then ask them how you are going to support them when you barely support yourself. If you were a tech bro with stock options from your start up, that would be one thing. You have your first job. So Stepmom needs to get over her "done" philosophy and find more work. When you get enough money to pay your bills and at least match your company's match for retirement savings, you can revisit. You do not owe them anything for the first 18 years and you are paying your own debt from college tuition. You do not want to pull this crap on your kids because you did not save. Tell them to figure out where they think you could support them at this stage. It is not that you are not being sympathetic, there is no extra on the table.
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They have some nerve and I'm sorry to say this but your step mom is a bitch. She has some nerve expecting you to support the family. I'd pack my stuff and move out and let them pay their own freaking bills. Go live with a friend or if you can afford it get your own place. That's just messed up. As long as you put up with it you can bet it's never gonna end. Pack your stuff and MOVE OUT!!!! QUICKLY!!!!!! Best of luck to you and hope they regret what they did but I doubt it. Move out!!!!
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2 months ago
No comment – no problem.
it was your father's choice to have children and support you, children have no choice. you have worked hard to stand on your own 2 feet and should enjoy it. don't let your parents guilt trip you into looking after them till goodness know when.
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Sue stepmom for what she's no longer earning now that she's not working by HER choice.
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Stupidest answer on the internet EVER!
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Just get out from there and give no contact to them and don't give your address to anyone related to them.
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Look for a place to live. You owe step & your dad nothing. It’s the law you must have a roof over your head, food & clothing till 28 yrs old.
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There are no laws about supporting your child until 28!
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We know that was a typo. She meant 18.
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You used the word 'cruel' for your sister's story and now you're acting like this is some grand betrayal? Helping your parents isn't 'cruelty'—it's the circle of life. My grandmother lived in our guest room for fifteen years and we didn't go crying to the internet about it. It’s called being a family, not a roommate with boundaries.
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You, the father and stepmother are the problem. Maybe you should help them. She owes them nothing and all of you are sick.
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2 months ago
One simply does not let this comment remain here.
Looking at your father 'waiting for him to shut this down'—who do you think you are? The supervisor? He’s the head of that house, and if he says it’s your turn to chip in, you open your checkbook and you say 'Thank you for the twenty-three years of free rent.'
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Are you for real??? Its his duty to bring her up she never asked to be born.
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If HE was TOO STUPID TO WEAR A CONDOM, that is NOT HIS DAUGHTER'S FAULT. HE was LEGALLY REQUIRED provide the bare minimum to raise her. It was HIS JOB, NOT HERS. His actions, caused her birth, not the other way around. As the HEAD of the HOUSE, it is HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO PROVIDE. His lazy, selfish, entitled wife should go find a corner to work. Maybe she can use her mouth, for something ORHER than BLOWING HOT AIR.
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What's wrong with u? My parents pulled the same shit with me and I shut it the fuck down quick, I didn't ask to be born nor am I gonna be guilt tripped into paying some imaginary debt bc they couldn't use contraception. Ur a terrible person go back to ur hole.
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You're a gross person. Don't have children. It you do, give them to someone else. Sounds like anyone else will be better than you. You don't blindside your children.
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Is this sarcasm? Or do you live in a country where this is normal?
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She is NOT being sarcastic, JUST STUPID.
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Your a Moron! Parents, and in this case it's used loosely, are responsible for all those bills!!! That's the LAW!!! Maybe not up to 23 but damn well up to 18! NO child owes their parents ANYTHING financial because they raised them. That was their job! Step mommy can shove off and go get her job back because she isn't even the parent let alone all 23 years so who does she think she is wanting to be supported by a kid she didnt give birth too!?!
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You must be her stepmother. Parents aren’t owed for raising you. That’s ridiculous.
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That's bullshit. They had the children and they were responsible for 18 years because they choose to have them. My kids,your kids don't owe us anything.
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you are living in the wrong century, how about YOU look after her parents ?
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Are you crazy???? What planet are you from????? Nobody asks to be born and you don't owe your parents for raising you. That's absolutely 💯 percent preposterous.
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2 months ago
This comment came alive and ran away.
WRONG
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You must be one of those mentally challenged people
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I know, right? Most parents of 1 year olds, 5 year old, etc charge their children for rent. If your parents didn't, you REALLY owe them! Oh, wait, child labor laws and not asking to be born.. hold on there..
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She's the stepmom
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What century are you from? OP did not ask to be born. It is the parents job to raise their children so eventually their children can go out in the real world and take care of themselves and their spouse and children if the choose to have any. OP is not her dad's and STEPMOM'S parents. They are grown ass adults who can take care of themselves. If you prefer to baby your parents and have no life of your own that's on you. What OPs parents are doing is being entitled and selfish.
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You must be Jasmine Crocket? Not one who should speak in public!! 🤮🤮
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2 months ago
Can't find the comment? Ask your mom.
Clownish answer, so I'm sure you're just trolling.
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Twenty-three years. Twenty-three years of organic milk, soccer cleats, and probably a university degree you’re barely using—and you have the nerve to call it a 'debt you never signed up for'? You signed up for it the second you didn't move out at eighteen, dear.
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She DID NOT CHOOSE TO BE BORN, and you don't get to "charge rent retroactively", dear.
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Notice it's only stupid bitches taking this side of the argument. Just like her stepmom. What a loser who guilt trips there kids like that? It shows major red flags and character flaws Karen.
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Best comment by far!!!
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Thank you
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So do you think that the only reason to have a kid is so your dumbass can get a paycheck later in life??? I have never taken a dime off any of my kids and never will. That's NOT why I had them. Discusting attitudes!
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2 months ago
You can't see a comment that isn't there.
Are you Jasmine’s sister??😂😂
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You need help.
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She's moved out. She pays rent, buys groceries, and pays STUDENT LOANS. They bank rolled a minor child, chose organic milk, and to enroll her in soccer (kids can't sign contracts). They chose to create this expense. Now that she's grown, you can't decide to try and roll reverse
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Exactly. I mean just LOOK HOW MUCH THE ARE SAVING! WITHOUT NATASHA IN THE PICTURE. THEY SHOULD BE THANKING HER NOT TRYING TO EXTORT HER.
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What can you do?!! Tell them no, you're not their retirement plan and you don't want to hear from them again. Then block them on everything. If you have a roommate let them know they're not allowed inside. As a matter of fact, hang a camera and don't answer the door.
You owe them nothing. Not an effen thing. They don't love or respect you and I'm sorry about that. Make your own family, doesn't need to be blood to count.
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Natasha, this is an incredibly heavy realization to have at the start of your career. Your parents are attempting to trade your future for their comfort. Here is how to handle this with clarity and strength.
- Reframe the “Debt” of Childhood: Feeding and clothing you for 23 years was not a loan; it was the fundamental legal and moral obligation of parenthood. You do not owe a “payback” for the basic care you required as a child. A parent’s job is to launch their child into the world, not to tether them to the nest as a permanent source of income.
- The “No” is a Kindness: By saying no, you are actually helping your parents in the long run. If you start paying their bills now, they will never find a sustainable way to support themselves. You are an entry-level employee; you physically cannot be their retirement plan. Setting this boundary now prevents a total financial collapse for all of you five years down the line.
- Implement the “Financial Transparency” Strategy: Sit them down and show them a printed budget of your expenses. Show them exactly what you make and exactly where it goes (rent, loans, taxes). Say: “I love you, but I am living paycheck to paycheck. There is no surplus. I cannot and will not be taking over your household expenses.” Seeing the hard numbers often makes it harder for them to maintain the fantasy that you are “rich” just because you have a job.
AI-generated image
You should have laughed it off and said "sure, someday when I make my first million, I'll help you out. Right now, I don't have a dime to spare. You better go back to work if you need money." Followed up by "thanks for dinner, but I gotta' run." And run.
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- Build Your “Exit” Fund: If you are living with them, your top priority must be moving out as soon as possible. If you already live alone, ensure they do not have access to your bank accounts or any emergency credit cards. Physical and financial distance is the only way to stop the emotional blackmail.
- Celebrate Your Milestone Anyway: Don’t let their entitlement steal the joy of your first job. You worked hard for this. You are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing—becoming self-sufficient. That is a massive success, regardless of whether your parents acknowledge it.
You are not a “bad daughter” for wanting to keep the money you earn. You are a responsible adult protecting your future.
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Wow, just feel free to ignore all the freeloaders in the comments section. A parents JOB is to raise you up until your independent and flying free of the nest. Not to mooch off you. That's insane. Go no contact with your toxic parents, you owe them absolutely nothing except perhaps gratefulness for showing their true colors now instead of later.
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Your parents are pure trash. Stop speaking with them and dont give them a penny, they are entitled leeches, and they will suck you dry if you let them. And dont let any one guilt you for not moving out at 18 ... that's for terminal diploma holders. College kids get extra time.
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You keep saying you 'never signed up' for the debt of your upbringing. Well, I’m sure your father didn't 'sign up' for twenty-three years of your whining, your messy room, and your expensive hobbies, but he did it anyway! It’s called unconditional love—and now it’s time for some 'unconditional' repayment. You don't get to opt out of family obligations just because you have a student loan.
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What 'lifestyle' exactly? You make it sound like they’re asking for a penthouse in Manhattan. They’re asking to stay afloat. If you think your entry-level salary is enough to let two adults 'retire,' you clearly weren't paying attention in your math classes. They aren't exploiting you—they're testing your character. And so far? You’re failing."
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You call her your 'stepmom' like it’s a slur. That woman stepped into a role she didn't have to, dealing with your moods and your messes for years—and now that she’s physically and mentally 'done,' you’re offended? She’s earned her rest, and if that means you have to work a few extra hours of overtime to cover the water bill, then that’s the least you can do to pay her back for her service.
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