My opinion, no one is obligated to watch someone else's child.
I Refused to Babysit My Sister’s Kids After She and Her Husband Shamed Me at a Family Gathering
There’s a fine line between being generous and being taken for granted, and one woman just found out the hard way. What started as years of selfless love and free babysitting for her sister’s kids ended in a deeply humiliating moment at a family dinner. Now, she’s drawing the line and asking: when is enough finally enough?
For years, I’ve done everything I could to be there for my sister and her family.
Emily and I are twins, but our lives couldn’t be more different. While she built a busy life with three young children and a growing social circle, I took a quieter path: one filled with sacrifice, support, and, honestly, unconditional love for her kids.
I’ve always loved spending time with my nieces and nephews. From day one, I was there: changing diapers, picking them up from daycare, helping with school projects, and tucking them in when their parents were out. It didn’t matter how last-minute the request was.
I dropped everything and came running.
While Emily and her husband traveled, went to spa days, or enjoyed kid-free weekends, I stayed back with the children. I canceled dates, skipped weekend plans, and turned down job opportunities. I didn’t do it because I had to—I did it because I wanted to. Her kids gave me purpose, and loving them felt natural.
And that’s when it hit me: I have a twin sister who frequently asks me to babysit her 3 children for free, and I always agree. I’ve never kept score or expected a thank-you card. But now I wonder if I should have.
Last week, our extended family got together for dinner. There were about 15 of us gathered around the table, sharing food, stories, and laughs. I was genuinely enjoying the night—until one moment shattered everything.
A family friend made a sweet comment about how I was always there for the kids and called me “the best aunt ever.”
I smiled politely, not expecting anything more from it. That’s when Emily leaned forward with a grin and said, loud enough for everyone to hear, “Well, of course Rachel’s the best aunt—she’s also our free babysitter. But let’s be honest, I think we all know why she’s so invested in my kids.”
The table went quiet. My heart started racing.
“She’s just too scared to build a life of her own,” Emily continued. “She acts like my kids are hers so she doesn’t have to deal with her own problems. Honestly, it’s kind of sad.”
And before I could process that, her husband added, “If she loves them so much, maybe she should do a better job teaching them. Our youngest still can’t count past ten. Meanwhile, Emily’s a full-time mom, keeps up with work, and still finds time for herself. That’s what balance looks like.”
I was stunned.


Of course she has time for herself, her sister is the one watching her kids. And hubby, wow. Seems like he's the one with a counting problem.
Well, good luck with that because no more anything.
The room blurred. I felt heat rush to my face, and my stomach twisted into knots. I wanted to speak, but my voice was stuck somewhere between shock and heartbreak.
What Emily didn’t understand, or maybe just didn’t care about, was that I wasn’t clinging to her kids because I had nothing better to do. A few years ago, I went through a painful divorce after being diagnosed with a serious reproductive condition. My ex-husband left because he wanted children, and I couldn’t give him that. I never fully recovered from that loss.
Being around Emily’s kids helped me cope with that pain. They were my joy, my escape, my way of feeling like I still had something meaningful in my life. Every time I sang them to sleep or helped with their homework, it helped heal a part of me.
So hearing my own sister use that love against me was more painful than I can put into words.


Seems like your sister is jealous of you bc you have the freedom to come and go. Her kids can't count bc of her and her husband. I wouldn't do them anymore favors but would stay in the loop just to hear her complain all the while I'd be smiling. She has an eye opener coming if you do stick to it.
I held back tears for the rest of the evening. I stayed quiet, but I was shattered inside. That night, I lay in bed replaying the moment again and again. The laughter, the smirks, the way no one defended me. And I made a decision I never thought I would: I’m done babysitting for Emily.
Not because I stopped loving those kids—I’ll always love them. But because I finally saw the truth, kindness without boundaries turns into being taken for granted. I was never seen as family. I was seen as a free service.
They didn’t just disrespect my time. They disrespected my love. I still don’t know if I should’ve said something right then and there, or if walking away was the best response. But one thing’s for sure: I’m not going to let myself be used anymore. I’ve given enough. Now, it’s time to protect what’s left of my heart.
Comments
Wow Wow Wow. And that's family.
Sadly, many of us give love, time, attention, sacrifice ourselves only for that to be interpreted as weakness....in my mid 70s...no one pays attention or reciprocates their time, energy, money or attention back to me...not keeping score but after decades of going above and beyond for kids and grandkids...nothing but crickets...learn from this and though you will miss the kids, if you dont stand up for yourself now, the kids will be taught the same dynamic...see them on your terms, at your house, by invite from you only...no more FREE vacays, night outs or abuse of your time or kindness...its not too late to reset the dynamic...BETTER LATE THAN NEVER...but do it for the kids youve grown to love...not for that selfish B and her rude hub or anybody else that failed to defend you...they tried to act like you're weak and are at their beck and call...forget allllll if them except for the kids and on your terms only....if the kids start acting like that group of adults, then bye to them too...be strong...good luck...
I can't believe not one person at the family table intervened on your behalf. I experienced much of that growing up, still learning to healthily curb my kindness to others and direct it toward myself and my value in this world.
I'm so very sorry for your pain and how you were so disregarded, especially in that moment. I'm honestly stunned by your sister's words, and worse yet, in front of other family members. I've had the privilege of caring for two boys since they were babies and are now teens. I'd be devastated to be treated in such a manner by their mother. If I was you, I'd take a major step back from doing any childcare for an extended period of time in order to heal yourself and allow your sister and her husband to feel your absence, gain some appropriate gratitude and humility and sincerely repent. Definitely don't just stuff the pain down and take it. Your sister's words and attitude are beyond the pale, and she needs to do some real soul searching and frankly feel the pain of her own disregard of you and how you've benefitted her and her family. May you heal and recover and even thrive in your future.
Ok, the "it's her fault my kids can't count' really make me doubt this story

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