I Refused to Let My Ex’s New Wife Homeschool My Kids

Co-parenting can become messy, especially when the parents start dating again and their partners try to be a part of the decision-making processes that revolve around their children. When that happens, boundaries can begin to blur and the other parent can feel like their say no longer matters.

One of our readers reached out.

Dear Bright Side,

I share two kids with my ex. After our divorce, we stayed civil for the sake of our children. But he recently got remarried, and his wife is trying her best to complicate matters.

His new wife insisted on homeschooling them. I asked her why she thought it would be better for them. She said that she believed it was unfair for her children to see mine go to school.

But I could tell it wasn’t the real reason, so I pushed back. Eventually, she admitted that her children weren’t good at school. They always failed so she started homeschooling them so they could pay more attention to the materials. And she didn’t want my children to be better at school than hers.

I was furious and wanted to refuse. But I decided to ask my children how they would feel about it. My kids also refused the idea. They enjoy their school and don’t want to lose their friends because their stepmother insists on it.

So I put my foot down and told her that it wasn’t happening. That’s when his wife lost it. She accused me of encouraging jealousy and not supporting her dreams of becoming a home school teacher.

So, I told her that this decision was made by my children and I would support it because her request is unfair. They weren’t ready to uproot their lives for her dream, and I wasn’t going to let them do it, either.

That’s when things became tense. My ex-husband asked for the custody agreement to be reviewed so he could get full custody and give her what she wanted. He claimed that I didn’t have my children’s best interests at heart and that I was harming their future out of spite.

When the claim was filed, my lawyer, and he started to do some digging. He checked all of my children’s records and dug a little deeper into their stepmother’s past. When my lawyer was done, he found out that she had contacted their school.

She was requesting their records without my knowledge or consent. That’s when things became real. It wasn’t just an awkward conversation anymore. She was trampling over my boundaries.

Later, it was my turn to pick up the kids from school, but when I got there, I saw the principal, and she told me that my ex is trying to pull the kids out of the school. That night, I called my ex-husband.

I told him what his wife had done and made my stance clear. That woman would have no say in my children’s lives, and that was not up for a debate.

Thank you for reaching out to us. We understand how difficult a situation lie this can be. Below are a few tips that might come in handy.

Always put your kids first.

Every decision you make should have your children’s best interest at heart, whether it be their emotional well-being or their academic needs. The decisions shouldn’t be based on what the adults want. If your kids are doing well where they are, and they choose to stay, there’s no reason to remove them from that environment.

Always set boundaries in new relationships.

A new partner might have the best intentions, but they aren’t the parent. It’s important to set clear boundaries right from the beginning to make sure that everyone knows what their places and responsibilities are.

Document your decisions and agreements.

It doesn’t matter if the discussion is about schooling, medical care or schedules, always put the agreed upon decision in writing. This can reduce the amount of future conflicts and ensure that everyone remains on the right track.

Involve your children in the decision-making process.

If your children are old enough o understand what’s happening and make their own decisions, it would be best to get their input on such a matter. Their answers could guide you in the right direction and avoid further conflicts about the same matter.

When blending families always be prepared for the unique dynamic that comes with them. But know that respect, communication and clear boundaries can go a long way in keeping everyone happy.