Blended families often encounter unique hurdles, where minor tensions can quickly spiral into major conflicts. When Trish requested that her household honor her commitment to a vegan lifestyle, it unexpectedly sparked a heated exchange. Her husband’s reaction took her by surprise, leaving her emotionally shaken and uncertain about what to do next. Seeking clarity and support, Trish turned to us for help navigating this delicate situation.
Hi Bright Side,
No meat is allowed in my home. My stepdaughter, 14, started to defy me and refuses to be vegan. I said, “My house, my rules! Don’t come here if you’re not happy!” My husband was quiet. At 3 a.m., my son, 7, came to me trembling.
Imagine my horror when I found out that my husband went to my son’s room, kissed him goodbye, and then left.
I checked the closet, and he had taken his clothes, packed his things. I called, and he said that he needs to be away from me for some time. He called me a “monster” and said that this house is also my stepdaughter’s house, and I have no right to impose anything on her.
I still think that I didn’t do anything wrong here. My stepdaughter is spoiled, and I have the right to impose any rule I want in my own home.
Do you think I was wrong to act this way?
Trish
Hi Trish,
Thank you for sharing your story — it’s clear that this situation has deeply affected your family. Whether or not you feel you were wrong, the emotional distance and conflict are now very real, and the challenge now is how to move forward thoughtfully and constructively. Here are four pieces of advice that could help you.
I’m sorry, but you don’t get to impose your own personal belief on anyone. If you want your entire life to revolve around your diet, you got another thing coming. This is why vegans get a bad rep, it’s because of tyrants like you. I hope your husband divorces you and finds love with a reasonable person who will provide a safe and healthy atmosphere for the child
Even if you believe you’re justified in setting household rules, your husband’s comment — “This house is also my stepdaughter’s house” — reveals that he feels unheard and possibly disrespected in family decisions. Consider that this might not just be about meat — it’s about feeling excluded from authority in a shared home.
Action: Invite your husband to a calm conversation (ideally in person) and propose creating shared household expectations that reflect both of your values. Not a surrender — a collaboration.
I'd rather have no partner than have one that expected everything to be their way because they want it. Partnership goes both ways. You can't just expect things to be your way because that's what you want. If you want life that way, get single or learn how to discuss issues with your family properly without being demanding.
I'd rather have a vegan household than a partner who did not respect my ethics.
There is a difference in forcing your stepdaughter to eat your way or to get lost, and someone who respects your ethics. This is also something to be discussed before having a family or moving in together. If you cannot let your family have their own dietary choice, then maybe you should not have a family together. Its not about "not respecting your ethics" when you're forcing your lifestyle onto someone who isnt even your blood related daughter. She is too young to move out, to drive, to get her own food. Also, it's not just the stepmothers house. Its both the parents. And she still paints herself as a villain in her own story. Just dont marry or have kids with someone who doesn't fit your lifestyle if you don't want to accommodate.
I agree with some things you said.
You're absolutely right that this should be discussed before having a family or moving in together. I wouldn’t have kids with someone who thinks killing animals is just a dietary quirk. And I don't want to accommodate that.
If the daughter is too young to live independently, that makes it even more important to model integrity — not to hand her over to social norms that shrug at killing as long as it’s convenient.
So yeah — no vegan, no family, as Martha said.
That's a lot of words just to say "theyre murderers and should be forced into my ideology"....
I'm glad you agree that you shouldn't have a family if your opinion is that important to you that you can't let them have their own. I think its perfectly fine to be vegan or to have your values, but not to force others to follow yours if they never agreed to that in the beginning. Just like nobody should force the "carnivore" diet.
Glad we agree — and yes, nobody should force the "carnivore" diet.
I can see that we both recognise veganism as a valid set of values. I’d even go further, and here’s where we diverge again. Having seen what I’ve seen, been through what I’ve been through, and learned what I’ve learned, I feel a moral duty to stand up against injustice and speak for the voiceless.
We both know this is a horrible injustice. Any other form of abuse wouldn’t be tolerated by wider society — yet somehow this is. Our standards have been warped to the point where people get death threats for kicking a dog, but barely a word is said about what happens behind slaughterhouse walls.
Once you make that connection fully, veganism stops being a “personal choice” and starts being a moral baseline. That’s why I can’t frame reducing harm as the end goal. Just like it wouldn’t be acceptable to kick a dog less often, it’s not enough to just eat less meat — because every life counts.
Thanks for sticking with the conversation.
same
Sorry, but the time for discussion seems to be over OP. Your husband didn't just leave for the night, he took all his clothes? You're going to be served with divorce papers next. Face it, it is over. Sooooo eat all the lettuce you want. You blew up this relationship. And next time, IF you can find someone who is as dictator-ish as you, make sure 1) they don't have kids of their own, and 2) they're also vegan.
Aren’t you smug? Celebrating a broken family because someone drew a line against cruelty — that’s dark, even for a bacon defender.
If a man packs his bags because he can’t eat flesh in the kitchen, then yeah — let him go. Better single than spineless.
And don’t worry, she will find someone. Someone who values compassion over control and doesn’t mistake eating corpses for a personality.
So maybe
1. Sit down
2. And shut up
Or enjoy your lettuce jokes, that's all you got to bring to the table anyway.
Theres no celebrating a broken home. However this woman caused it being a dictator. She apparently didn't confer or consult her husband before she went on her rampage. I wouldn't want my children around her
Dictator? For saying “no dead animals in her home”? That’s called a boundary, not a rampage.
“Conferring” with her husband would’ve made sense before it got to this — but what you’re ignoring is that the stepdaughter came in defiant, not curious or cooperative. And the father? Instead of parenting, he ran. That’s not protecting a child — that’s modelling entitlement.
You wouldn’t want your kids around someone who stands up for compassion? Cool. And I wouldn’t want mine around people who treat violence as a preference.
“Better single than spineless “ but she let that bacon eater put a ring on it
Just ignore the weird freakish vegans in the replies lol. They love twisting the narrative to make people look bad if they dont eat rabbit food. OP is very weird for trying to force her stepchild to do what she wants. Shes acting like a control freak. I sincerely hope the father steps out of this relationship for good, if this is how she treats her bonus kid.
If I was the husband, I would have done the same thing! Good for hubby! How dare she treat her husband's daughter like that!! Glad hubby showed HER!
Now she REALLY won't have any "meat" in her house, lolol!! Be careful what you wish for!
If a man ditches his partner because she asked for basic respect in her own home, that’s not a win — that’s a walking red flag.
Treating animals with compassion isn’t cruelty. Raising your kid to believe the world revolves around their cravings? That’s the real damage.
And that meat joke? Tired. If the only “gotcha” you’ve got is “no meat for you,” maybe sit this one out — the adults are talking.
Vegan is a personal choice. Hope op doesn't wear wool or leather. You don't have the right to push your personal choices on anyone
Same as letting your kids smoke. Just because something’s a “personal choice” doesn’t make it morally acceptable.
Do you even hear yourself, Ann? You’re defending causing harm and calling it freedom. But when someone refuses to participate in that harm and draws a line in their own home? Suddenly that’s the crime? What if the daughter wanted a juicy dog steak huh?
Newsflash: not all “choices” deserve respect. Some deserve to be challenged — especially when they come at the cost of someone else’s life, oh like I don't know... racism perhaps???
Oh and btw the dad is forcing his diet onto his daughter also. Make it make sense, Ann!!!
Smoking is not legal for 14 year Olds. Eating meat is.when my stepdaughter decided to be vegan,I said ok. She bought her own set of pots and cooked for herself. She was 18 by then. I told her she can eat what she wants,but dont push her ways onto the rest of us . After 5 years snd numerous health issues,she started eating meat,real butter and cheese. She still doesnt eat fish. The rest of use do.
Its not pushing personal choices as killing, exploiting, torturing, enslaving animals should never be a choice to begin with.
Sam, no matter how many fairy lights you hang around it, killing someone who wanted to live isn’t kindness. Slitting a throat at the end of a “good life” doesn’t make it ethical — it makes it more twisted.
And let’s be real: you’re not out here sourcing meat from some mythical utopia. You’re buying what’s cheap, convenient, and shrink-wrapped in a supermarket — which does come from industrial farms where cruelty is routine, not rare.
You wouldn’t call it “humane” if it happened to a dog. But the moment it’s a cow or a pig, suddenly it’s just “food” and we’re the weird ones for calling it what it is.
It’s not wild that we’re calling out abuse — it’s wild that you keep defending it with bedtime stories and denial.
I aint reading all that slop. You also are insinuating im a meat eater. Youre hilarious but tiring, theres no getting through to that thick skull. And an animal is not a "someone". Its an animal that if given the chance, would eat you if it were hungry. Even if it wasnt a carnivore. I never said i dont care about pigs as much as a dog. Keep yapping about false narratives I guess, I never said i cared more about a dog than a pig. I love animals and personally rarely eat meat. Keep crying i really dont care lol
The attention span of a moth on Red Bull — you can’t read, but you can still confidently argue? Iconic.
“I’m not a meat eater!”
Also Sam: “I rarely eat meat.”
Pick a lane, bud — even your contradictions are confused.
Also, saying “an animal would eat you” like that makes factory farming okay is peak caveman logic. Next you’ll say your toaster deserves rights because it’s in the kitchen too.
You “love animals”? Cute. Just not enough to stop stabbing them with your wallet. Keep telling yourself you’re the victim of the big bad vegans while funding actual violence. Adorable.
Yeah, if I was husband, I would leave too. You didn't discuss before calling the child's mom, im not discussing or saying bye. He was probably fed up, tired of being vegan and that incident, the last straw
Like Dr Phil asks, do you want to be happy or right? Simplistic question to ask yourself
Rather be right duh
Dr Phil who as a Trumper is totally out of his mind is the last person I would listen to or even bring up.
100% wrong. Sounds like a tyrant
I hope her husband divorces her and takes both kids with him. He should go for full custody of his son and if it’s a must, that his son’s “mother” gets supervised visitation. What is it with vegans that they act like their superiors?
Vegans aren't better but they are doing better, for the planet, health, the animals, your kids future!!!
What is it with non vegans that they act superior over the animals?
You haven't any right to push your religious views on anyone else. That is what this is, a religious view.
It’s great that you’re self aware and willing to admit it
Still clinging to your drive-thru philosophy like it’s a mic drop?
Self-awareness would be you realizing you're defending stabbing animals to death because you're too lazy to switch ingredients.
No it's not. Its life philosophy. You need to educate yourself about the difference of religion and life philosophy.
Your 7-year-old came to you trembling at 3 a.m. That’s not just about your husband leaving — it’s about your son feeling emotionally unsafe. This isn’t only an adult disagreement anymore; it’s something your children are absorbing.
Action: Focus less on who’s “right” and more on restoring emotional security. Reassure your son, validate his fear, and prioritize rebuilding a calm home — because emotional fear in children is a long-term consequence of family instability.
I am THE GREAT OZ!!!!! BOW BEFORE ME HEATHEN!!!!
Saying “Don’t come here if you’re not happy” to a 14-year-old who lives with you may have felt like laying down the law — but to her, it likely felt like rejection. Being vegan in your own home is a valid choice. Imposing it as an absolute on others, especially a stepchild navigating loyalty, grief, or identity, is likely to backfire.
Action: Introduce zones or compromises — e.g., “No meat in the kitchen, but if you order something, eat it outside or in your room.” This gives her space without changing your values.
I'm vegetarian but I don't impose my lifestyle on others. This is why vegans/vegetarians are viewed negatively - this angry need to control others. I don't blame the husband for leaving but why would he leave the kids with a "monster" who probably has anger issues?
Staying firm in “I did nothing wrong” may protect your pride, but it won’t bring your husband or stepdaughter home. Whether your actions were justified or not, the emotional damage is real.
Action: Reflect not just on the rule, but on the delivery. Apologizing doesn’t mean saying you were wrong to be vegan — it means saying, “I’m sorry I made you feel unwelcome in your own home. That wasn’t my intention.” That alone could open a door that’s now shut.
Despite all the tensions we might face, there is also a lot of kindness in the world. Here are 15 Stories That Prove Kindness Runs in Some People’s Veins.
Jumpin' Jiminy Crickets! I would NEVER try to force ANYONE to conform to MY WAY of thinking & being. (I was raised by foster parents who would never dream of forcing their lifestyle choices on their own children! Let alone the foster children!)
You are most definitely in the wrong here. You have the right to choose to be vegan, but you do not have the right to dictate that everyone in your house must be as well. The fact that you are even asking if you're wrong is mind boggling. Yes. You are. Anybody who thinks otherwise needs to have their children and voting privileges permanently taken away, and be sent to prison where they can experience firsthand having other people's viewpoints shoved down their throat.
My house my rules is such an old way of thinking. Forcing someone to be vegan is as wrong as forcing someone to eat meat. If your diet dictates that you can't eat meat that does not mean that everyone in your house should fallow that diet
Wow what an amazing man to stand up to someone so narcissistic and selfish. He has won in his child's life and he chose to do it in a classy way. Too bad he could not carry his other child with him. something tells me this is not about veganism but your absolute hatred of his child and because he stands up for her you used this to exert your dominance. Hope he gets his house and child from you and you can go bully some other vegan somewhere else.
I'm completely confused by this. Maybe my veal filled brain is missing something... if you don't allow meat in your house, and the horrible flesh eaters left, why are you upset? Like Scrooge McDuck with the magical golden fish, you got everything that you asked for.
