Blended families often encounter unique hurdles, where minor tensions can quickly spiral into major conflicts. When Trish requested that her household honor her commitment to a vegan lifestyle, it unexpectedly sparked a heated exchange. Her husband’s reaction took her by surprise, leaving her emotionally shaken and uncertain about what to do next. Seeking clarity and support, Trish turned to us for help navigating this delicate situation.
Hi Bright Side,
No meat is allowed in my home. My stepdaughter, 14, started to defy me and refuses to be vegan. I said, “My house, my rules! Don’t come here if you’re not happy!” My husband was quiet. At 3 a.m., my son, 7, came to me trembling.
Imagine my horror when I found out that my husband went to my son’s room, kissed him goodbye, and then left.
I checked the closet, and he had taken his clothes, packed his things. I called, and he said that he needs to be away from me for some time. He called me a “monster” and said that this house is also my stepdaughter’s house, and I have no right to impose anything on her.
I still think that I didn’t do anything wrong here. My stepdaughter is spoiled, and I have the right to impose any rule I want in my own home.
Do you think I was wrong to act this way?
Trish
Hi Trish,
Thank you for sharing your story — it’s clear that this situation has deeply affected your family. Whether or not you feel you were wrong, the emotional distance and conflict are now very real, and the challenge now is how to move forward thoughtfully and constructively. Here are four pieces of advice that could help you.
I’m sorry, but you don’t get to impose your own personal belief on anyone. If you want your entire life to revolve around your diet, you got another thing coming. This is why vegans get a bad rep, it’s because of tyrants like you. I hope your husband divorces you and finds love with a reasonable person who will provide a safe and healthy atmosphere for the child
Even if you believe you’re justified in setting household rules, your husband’s comment — “This house is also my stepdaughter’s house” — reveals that he feels unheard and possibly disrespected in family decisions. Consider that this might not just be about meat — it’s about feeling excluded from authority in a shared home.
Action: Invite your husband to a calm conversation (ideally in person) and propose creating shared household expectations that reflect both of your values. Not a surrender — a collaboration.
I'd rather have no partner than have one that expected everything to be their way because they want it. Partnership goes both ways. You can't just expect things to be your way because that's what you want. If you want life that way, get single or learn how to discuss issues with your family properly without being demanding.
Your 7-year-old came to you trembling at 3 a.m. That’s not just about your husband leaving — it’s about your son feeling emotionally unsafe. This isn’t only an adult disagreement anymore; it’s something your children are absorbing.
Action: Focus less on who’s “right” and more on restoring emotional security. Reassure your son, validate his fear, and prioritize rebuilding a calm home — because emotional fear in children is a long-term consequence of family instability.
I am THE GREAT OZ!!!!! BOW BEFORE ME HEATHEN!!!!
Saying “Don’t come here if you’re not happy” to a 14-year-old who lives with you may have felt like laying down the law — but to her, it likely felt like rejection. Being vegan in your own home is a valid choice. Imposing it as an absolute on others, especially a stepchild navigating loyalty, grief, or identity, is likely to backfire.
Action: Introduce zones or compromises — e.g., “No meat in the kitchen, but if you order something, eat it outside or in your room.” This gives her space without changing your values.
I'm vegetarian but I don't impose my lifestyle on others. This is why vegans/vegetarians are viewed negatively - this angry need to control others. I don't blame the husband for leaving but why would he leave the kids with a "monster" who probably has anger issues?
Staying firm in “I did nothing wrong” may protect your pride, but it won’t bring your husband or stepdaughter home. Whether your actions were justified or not, the emotional damage is real.
Action: Reflect not just on the rule, but on the delivery. Apologizing doesn’t mean saying you were wrong to be vegan — it means saying, “I’m sorry I made you feel unwelcome in your own home. That wasn’t my intention.” That alone could open a door that’s now shut.
Despite all the tensions we might face, there is also a lot of kindness in the world. Here are 15 Stories That Prove Kindness Runs in Some People’s Veins.
Jumpin' Jiminy Crickets! I would NEVER try to force ANYONE to conform to MY WAY of thinking & being. (I was raised by foster parents who would never dream of forcing their lifestyle choices on their own children! Let alone the foster children!)
You are most definitely in the wrong here. You have the right to choose to be vegan, but you do not have the right to dictate that everyone in your house must be as well. The fact that you are even asking if you're wrong is mind boggling. Yes. You are. Anybody who thinks otherwise needs to have their children and voting privileges permanently taken away, and be sent to prison where they can experience firsthand having other people's viewpoints shoved down their throat.
My house my rules is such an old way of thinking. Forcing someone to be vegan is as wrong as forcing someone to eat meat. If your diet dictates that you can't eat meat that does not mean that everyone in your house should fallow that diet
Wow what an amazing man to stand up to someone so narcissistic and selfish. He has won in his child's life and he chose to do it in a classy way. Too bad he could not carry his other child with him. something tells me this is not about veganism but your absolute hatred of his child and because he stands up for her you used this to exert your dominance. Hope he gets his house and child from you and you can go bully some other vegan somewhere else.
I'm completely confused by this. Maybe my veal filled brain is missing something... if you don't allow meat in your house, and the horrible flesh eaters left, why are you upset? Like Scrooge McDuck with the magical golden fish, you got everything that you asked for.
