I’m a Nanny and Let the Kids Watch Videos, but It Almost Cost Me My Job

Briana, a nanny for twins navigating their parents’ messy divorce, found herself in a tough spot when a decision she made nearly cost her job. Her actions left the mom furious at first, but Briana still believes it was the right call. Here’s the story behind the tension.

Howdy Bright Side!

I’m a nanny for 5-year-old twins whose parents had just gone through a messy divorce. Sweet kids, but they were right in the middle of all that emotional fallout. Most days they were fine, running around and giggling, but when the sadness hit, it hit hard. They’d cry for their dad, asking why he wasn’t there, asking if he still loved them. Honestly, it was heartbreaking.

One afternoon, they both had a complete meltdown. I’m talking full-on tears, screaming, throwing things. I tried everything I could think of: snacks, games, puzzles, coloring, even taking them outside for some air. Nothing worked. They just kept sobbing, saying over and over they wanted their dad. I knew I couldn’t magically make him appear, but I also couldn’t just let them scream themselves hoarse.

That’s when I thought about the laptop their mom sometimes let me use for activities like drawing apps, little crafts, etc. I opened it up and pulled up some old videos I knew were saved there. Videos of the twins with both their parents from before the divorce: birthday parties, Christmas mornings, family vacations. The change was instant. They quieted down, curled up together on the couch, and just watched with these teary little smiles. For the first time all day, they were calm.

But of course, right then their mom came home. She walked in, saw the kids glued to the screen, and immediately her expression shifted. She assumed they were watching cartoons.

She looked at me, clearly irritated, and said in a passive-aggressive tone, “So this is what I’m paying you for? Sitting them in front of a screen? If this is what you think child care is, maybe we need to rethink things.” Basically a soft threat to fire me.

I took a breath and calmly explained everything. How the twins had been crying non-stop, how I tried every activity I could think of, how nothing worked, and how they were begging for their dad. I told her these weren’t just random shows, they were watching videos of happier times with their family, and it was the only thing that finally soothed them.

Her face softened immediately. She sat down, looked at her kids, and her eyes welled up. She apologized for snapping and admitted she hadn’t realized how much the divorce was weighing on them. I gently suggested more consistent visits with their dad might help. She nodded and thanked me for handling it with compassion.

Briana

Briana’s story highlights the delicate balance of caregiving, especially when dealing with children caught in the emotional turmoil of a divorce. Briana’s thoughtful approach in soothing the twins and her calm communication with their mom is a reminder that sometimes the best solutions come from understanding and empathy, rather than strict rules. In the next section, we’ll dive into practical advice on managing emotional conflicts with children in similar situations.

The hidden struggles of divorce.

High-conflict divorces can have a profound emotional impact on children. The twins’ intense reactions reflect the emotional toll that constant parental conflict can create. This emotional burden can lead to anxiety, confusion, and insecurity, which may manifest in their behavior, as seen with the twins’ tantrums.

Briana’s response, offering comfort through familiar family videos, acknowledges these deep emotional needs and provides temporary reassurance, underscoring the importance of addressing children’s emotional struggles during such a turbulent time.

Creating safe spaces for children to grieve.

Briana’s actions allowed the twins to express their grief and emotional turmoil in a way that felt safe and comforting. Instead of ignoring their emotional needs, Briana provided a space for the twins to connect with their memories and feel supported.

This act of validation helped the children grieve the changes in their family, allowing them to work through their emotions rather than suppressing them. It’s a crucial step in helping children adjust to divorce.

Provide stability by being a constant presence.

Briana, your ability to offer stability to the twins during such a difficult time is incredibly valuable. In situations like this, maintaining a sense of normalcy is key to helping children feel secure. While the changes in their family dynamics are unavoidable, your presence as a consistent, calming influence can make a world of difference.

Keep focusing on creating moments of comfort, like the videos, that allow the kids to connect with their happier memories. This will not only help them emotionally process the divorce but also provide them with a sense of continuity amid the uncertainty they’re experiencing.

As Briana continues to provide the twins with the support they need, it’s important to remember that caregivers often play an essential role in helping families navigate tough times. If you’ve ever wondered how other families manage these challenges, check out this article on how some people feel their nanny does more for the family than their partner ever did. It sheds light on how the right support can change everything.