I’m a New Mom, but I Have Every Right to Choose My Baby’s Name

Picking a baby name is one of the first big decisions new parents make. For many new moms and new dads, it’s an exciting part of pregnancy and parenting—but it can also get tricky when relatives (like your mother-in-law) don’t agree with your choice.

I’ve always been close to my grandmother. She practically raised me when my parents were working around the clock. Her name was June — gentle, classic, and full of warmth. Ever since I was a teen, I’d dreamed of naming my future baby after her.

We found out we were having a boy, and I still wanted to name him June. But things spiraled quickly when we told my in-laws.

My father-in-law just raised an eyebrow. But my mother-in-law laughed and said, “That’s a girl’s name.” I told her how much my grandma meant to me. That it was important. That names can be unisex, and I didn’t care what others thought.

But she waved her hand and said, “Either you let us choose the name or we won’t help you with the down payment for the house.” I was speechless. My husband looked torn.

He later told me, “Let’s just use June as a middle name. It’s not worth losing the help.” I knew he was trying to help. But I also saw how scared he was of rocking the boat with his parents.

But I couldn’t get past the feeling that I was being bought. That my son’s name — this intimate, precious thing — was being treated like a negotiation chip. A few days later, his parents texted us a list of acceptable names. I wanted to scream.

Now the baby’s due in a month. We still haven’t settled on the name. Am I being unfair to my husband and our future? I honestly don’t know.

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Picking a name for your baby is already a big decision, and when family opinions and finances get involved, it can feel overwhelming. To help you navigate this, we’ve put together some practical steps that might make things a little easier moving forward.

• Reframe the conversation with your husband as a team decision. Before addressing the in-laws again, consider sitting down with your husband in a calm, loving way. Tell him you understand his fear of disappointing his parents, but also share how alone you’ve felt in this. Remind him that your child’s name should represent both of you — your pasts, your values, your hopes.
• Reframe June as a legacy, not just a preference. Consider writing a short letter or email to your in-laws explaining who June was—not just her name, but her love, her care, and what she meant to you. You could say this name represents strength, kindness, and family. It may soften their view and help them realize you’re not trying to be defiant.
• Stand your ground. Let your in-laws know that you respect their generosity, but you can’t allow financial help to dictate something as meaningful as your child’s identity. You might not change their minds, but you will send a clear signal that your family’s values matter more than money. That kind of boundary can prevent bigger issues later.

• Reconsider the name format without losing the heart of it. If your husband is really struggling to push back, and you still want peace, consider creative alternatives. There’s room for compromise that still honors your grandma. Sometimes, reimagining tradition can be just as powerful as preserving it exactly. That way, your child carries the spirit of June—without feeling like his name was the reason for family tension.
• Open the door, but let them choose if they walk through it. If you want to keep the peace, you can offer an olive branch that doesn’t sacrifice your values. Let your in-laws know they’re welcome to be part of your child’s life in meaningful ways—helping with nursery setup, sharing family traditions, or being part of a naming ceremony. But make it clear that the name is a decision between you and your husband.

Disagreements over baby names happen more often than you might think—especially when family members get involved. Just take a look at these 10+ Baby Name Stories That Seriously Stirred Family Conflicts.