I’m a Single Dad and I Recently Gave 2 of My Kids for Adoption, Now Everyone’s Judging Me

A desperate man, 45, wrote a letter to our editorial, telling us his absolutely heart-wrenching life story. He has recently put two of his kids up for adoption, and the details of his story made our hearts shrink. The man added that people are judging him for the step he made. He wrote to us to seek advice from us and our readers about what we’d have done if we’d been in his shoes.

The man opened his letter telling about his complicated family background.

A man named Greg, who’s 45 years old, wrote a letter to our editorial, and while telling his story, he sounded really desperate and hurt. He said he has recently become an object for a constant people’s judgement. Even his relatives have become appalled by his decision towards his children, and his ex-wife stepped into the game, too.

Greg said that he now feels absolutely wretched, and he needs the words of advice and support from other people more than anything in his life. He explained a little bit about his family background. Greg wrote, «I have 3 kids in total, 2 of them are from the marriage with my ex Maggie and 1 with my wife Lilly.»

It all seemed like a normal family story, until Greg started telling us the details in his letter. The man wrote, «The kids I have with Maggie are a son Fred who’s 13 and daughter Stella, she’s 10. They both have severe disabilities to the point neither of them can even live and function without a caregiver.»

Greg explained that his son Fred cannot walk, or even hold items. His daughter Stella cannot walk, talk, hold items and can’t chew food.

The man wrote, «Both kids need diaper changing and many other things. My ex-wife Maggie left me and the kids and had an affair with another man when Stella was just 1 year old. She preferred to cut all contacts with me and most of my family. I made attempts to take Maggie to court for child support, but I lost the case.»

Greg’s situation was desperate, as he had to cope with 2 kids as a single dad.

Greg confessed in his letter that coping with 2 kids with special needs was very hard for him. He was under permanent moral pressure, and his obligations were only getting bigger, he had to think about everything in his family now. He had to provide for the kids and to be their caregiver at the same time, and the man admitted that he was exhausted.

He admitted in his letter that his mental state has come to that point that he found it hard to love the kids and connect with them. The man explained,"I read and tried to keep conversations with both kids separately and with each other for long hours ever since they were very small. But they showed zero emotion towards me and when Fred sometimes responded with a grumble, Stella is totally non-verbal.«

The man said that tried his best and took an active part in his kids’ development and learning, but it didn’t bring any visible result, and he felt like he was slowly giving up. He wrote, «It’s not like they were totally isolated in their own worlds. But both kids just never showed any single emotion towards me and only me. When my ex or my parents would talk to them, they would show some kind of emotion, and I saw them even smile at times.»

The man explained that both kids behaved like they didn’t know who Greg was. At the same time, the man highlighted his own feelings, saying, «I always wanted what’s best for the two.»

The man finally made a decision that was painful for him, but he had no choice.

Greg wrote that in the meantime, there were positive changes in his own life. He met his now wife, Lilly, when Fred was 7 and Stella was 4. The man wrote, «We got married and just a few years after we had our son, Todd. My wife Lilly has always been an amazing person. She helped me take care of Fred and Stella, even when I told her she wasn’t obliged to do so.»

Greg felt like he couldn’t take care of the kids any longer. He explained, «I just couldn’t financially aid them and I couldn’t even love them like they were my kids anymore. I barely had time to spend with my small son Todd, and this has also affected my relationship with Fred and Stella to the point where I started ignoring their cries.»

Greg has made a tough decision to put them up for adoption. His wife Lilly understood and supported his choice. But Greg revealed that his family have shamed him and many of them just cut contact with him. He says, «I tried to explain them my reasons, but they would never listen. They all think I’m guilty, when in fact, they never even offered me any help.»

To crown it all, Greg’s ex-wife Maggie is also getting involved after 9 years of ignoring him and their kids. Greg’s sister had told her about Greg’s decision, and Maggie now became very active.

The man closed his letter, saying, «I have no clue on how to handle this all, and Maggie has even threatened to take me to court over this. I do not regret my actions, and I don’t feel sorry for what I did.»

The man described his feelings about his kids now.

Greg added that many people are now saying that he just wants a healthy child and not the other two.

He explained, «I would love to keep Fred and Stella around, but it’s already taking a toll on my wellbeing as well as my family’s. Both kids didn’t show any emotion or interest in me when I tried to talk and spend time with them, they even reacted more to cartoons than me.»

Greg added that he missed a lot of milestones for his youngest son Todd because of his older siblings, who seemed to consume all of his attention. Greg said, «I missed his first steps, his first word, and I even missed his birth.»

The man said that he will of course dearly miss Fred and Stella, but he sincerely believes that it’s what’s best for them both and him.

We’d advise Greg to listen to his heart and common sense.

We’re very grateful to Greg for opening up to us, and we know it wasn’t easy for him to tell this whole story.

We’d advise Greg to think practically in this case. He wrote that he was unable to give the kids all that special care that they both needed, and he literally was torn between the necessity to provide for them and to care for them. No one offered him help when he was alone with them two, so it sounds reasonable that Greg might want to put them into a special place where their special needs will be satisfied by professionally trained and specially educated people.

As soon as his ex-wife has been so active, we’d advise Greg to talk to her about all the difficulties that he had to go through, and he might as well show her some videos or photos from his family archive, where he and the kids were trying to interact. As soon as Maggie was absent from the lives of her children for 9 years, she might have no idea about the hard work and the special routine that Greg needed to deal with while he was taking care of the kids.

We respect Greg’s decision, and we think people shouldn’t judge this dad for choosing to give his kids up for adoption. But we sincerely believe in the happy ending of this story, and we’d love to find out one day that Greg’s kids have found a loving and caring family and live happily in it.

And here’s a story of a woman, whose husband had a kid with his ex-wife, and the kid wasn’t even his biological son. But the woman adopted the child anyways, so that he doesn’t end up in an orphanage.