I’m Not Giving My DIL Any Christmas Gifts and I’m Not Ashamed of It
Finding the perfect Christmas gift for a loved one can prove to be tricky. Even so, most people can appreciate the sentiment behind it. But a woman found herself in a difficult situation when she couldn’t please her daughter-in-law, no matter how hard she tried. After all her unsuccessful attempts to find the perfect gift, the MIL decided she had finally had enough.
A woman shared her dilemma.
I am so tired of this, my DIL is extremely picky what goes into her home. It has to follow all of her rules. Can’t be from a company she doesn’t support, basically no plastic, no over stimulating colors, no small pieces, no large toys since they take up too much space.
I have tried time after time to get her something she will like, I have asked for lists, but I never get any. I thought for my granddaughter’s birthday (4F) a few months ago, I found the perfect wood train set. Apparently not, it was too loud for them to play with.
I tried to get her a nice knife set, no didn’t support the company. I don’t even know what was wrong with the company. It was a decent set, not super high end.
I reached my limit today, I got my granddaughter her own stuff for her Christmas trees in her room. I had permission to do this. We went shopping, and she picked out her own light and ornaments. I bought what she wanted, and it got set up.
Well, she saw the tree and was pissed, too much plastic on the tree. THEY ARE ORNAMENTS, I wasn’t buying glass ones the kid could break. I told her I was done, I am not getting any gifts for the family because she is impossible.
She also offered additional info in the comments.
- “I have talked to my son, he stands by his wife even if he does think some rules are overboard. I guess I could try to make some out of clay, but I am so over this. I am sick of jumping through 50 hoops to just do something nice for them, so I am done.” Cheap_Wrap_4136 / Reddit
- “I made her homemade cookies once, and I brought them over on a paper plate with plastic wrap on top. Plastic wrap is evil, so they couldn’t eat them.” Cheap_Wrap_4136 / Reddit
- “My son stands by his wife to not cause issues. He gets mad whenever I try to speak to him about it. He gets annoyed when I begged him for a year to give me a list, so I can get something they want.” Cheap_Wrap_4136 / Reddit
Redditors were unanimously on the poster’s side.
- “Stop trying to please someone who can’t be pleased. Give your granddaughter a gift card to a store she likes and be done with it. Your son and daughter-in-law are rude, ungrateful and have unrealistic expectations. I would have started to give the same treatment you receive and criticize every gift they give.” Heloise_Morris / Reddit
- “Send a donation to a charity in the family’s honor, and make a deposit into a savings account for your grandchild(ren). That way, your DIL has nothing physical to complain about- because gift giving isn’t a scavenger hunt.” Rude_Vermicelli2268 / Reddit
- “I share many of your daughter-in-law’s views, but I don’t expect others to read my mind. I ask people to please not buy me objects, as I prefer not to contribute to landfills. The problem with your daughter-in-law is that she is imposing her views and tastes on her children. I also dislike bright colors and loud noises, but when one chooses to have children, one must prioritize their happiness over one’s own. Many children love bright colors and noise.” maccrogenoff / Reddit
- “Put what you’d spend on a gift in an account. Send a card with $5. When she’s 18 and ready for higher learning or other things 18-year-olds need, give it to her. Or teach her how to invest.” Specialist-Ad5796 / Reddit
- “I think it’s okay for people to be specific about what comes into their home. I live in a small space, I’m fairly environmentally conscious, I really don’t want a bunch of plastic either. My family is similarly picky, though in different ways.
If you’re going to be that picky, you should either have a helpful list or not expect anything. My family eventually just stopped doing Christmas gifts because we realized we were so picky because we didn’t actually need anything! So now it’s about time together instead.” Ambystomatigrinum / Reddit
- “Gift cards are a godsend. And if they aren’t ‘personal enough’, or you ‘haven’t put any effort in’, well, you can be done. You aren’t a mind reader, and if DIL can’t be bothered to even send you a wish list, who can blame you for giving up!” YouthNAsia63 / Reddit
Having to deal with a picky relative is never easy. Another mother-in-law also had to make a difficult decision when her family became too affected by her DIL’s food preferences.