Family legacies are often supported with pride and anticipation, with each generation carrying forward the dreams and traditions of those who came before. But what happens when the next generation refuses to take on this role? This was the dilemma faced by one mother regarding her daughter.
As a member of Gen X, I find myself burdened by the responsibilities that millennials are rejecting. At 42, I am left grappling with the choices of my 22-year-old daughter, who decided she does not want children and plans to undergo sterilization next year.
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However, the souls destined to join our family for ancestral or karmic reasons still need to be born. Consequently, I am raising two babies who should have been hers, but can’t be because she chose not to have kids.
We joke that my 1.5-year-old daughter — her sibling — is actually hers, but deep down, it’s not a joke. If she wasn’t so unwilling, I wouldn’t be raising a toddler right now.
But people couldn’t be on her side.
“I need to start using this excuse. I didn’t want to binge 15 tacos. But you didn’t do it, so I had to for our ancestral spirits. Why am I eating sausages? You know why.” IanFortey / Twitter
“Good grief! This is so not a Gen X position. We’re like, please don’t have kids if you are not flipping ready, even if that’s never!” RoseCastro / Twitter
“I was mocked as a kid, so have really bad associations with children. My mother and I had a toxic relationship, and my parenting imprinting was bad. I don’t have a lifestyle that lends itself to kids. Happily married, a guy who never wanted kids either. We rescue dogs. It would be the height of selfishness to have a child, who’d have to go through years of therapy fixing what we went wrong. So thankful I’m now over 50 and people have stopped asking and designated me as the black sheep of the family.” SevereSociety / Twitter
“Okay, that’s just...weird. My daughter is 42 and chose not to have children. Uh, no... I never, ever thought about making more babies to ’compensate.’” LeeAnneAyres1 / Twitter
“This isn’t how most Gen X think. That they want to be a parent again at 40 is their decision, don’t blame it on their kid, who knows she’s not going to be a good mother.” Dranemra / Twitter
“I’m Gen X, but DEFINITELY not a boomer yet. BUT WOW, as someone in the mental health field... Those last two sentences. She has her life: hope, dreams, etc. The daughter has her wants, needs, and goals for the future. Just be happy that she’s happy.” L0vexxMuzik / Twitter
“Every single day, I learn more and more things that make me want to never interact with another person again.” KittyduJour / Twitter
“To think, I could have been using this excuse for decades when I eat way too much.” TheSylvreWolfe / Twitter
Navigating the complexities of family expectations and personal desires is never straightforward. Her journey to preserve the family legacy has been filled with both triumphs and heartaches. Though the future may look different from what she once imagined, we hope it is still filled with hope, love, and the enduring spirit of their family.
