My Friends Want Me to Pay for the Babysitter When I Don’t Even Have Kids

Deciding if you want kids is a personal choice, and everyone has their reasons. But one thing we should all agree on is that parents shouldn’t expect their child-free friends to pay for their childcare. Or at least, that’s what we thought until we stumbled upon a dilemma shared by a woman.

Here’s the dilemma.

I’ve been hanging out with the same group of girlfriends since high school, a total of five of us. They all have kids, except me. We used to go out for dinner once a month, but recently, <strong>the group decided to hire a babysitter so we could have a night out without the kids. It costs $100 for 2–3 hours of babysitting.

After dinner, we take turns paying the bill, and then they all head back to the babysitter’s place to pick up the kids. This week, it was my turn to pay, so I did. But when I got home, I got a bunch of angry texts from the group saying I owed $100 for the babysitter. I was confused because I thought I’d already paid for dinner.

Their explanation? Since it was my turn to pay, I should also cover the babysitter’s fee because «we all get to enjoy a night out without kids.» But I argued, «I don’t have kids. Why should I pay for your babysitter?» They said, «You still get to hang out with us without kids.» I’m refusing to pay, but my friends think I’m being unfair.

No one actually talked to me about covering the babysitter’s fees. They all just assumed I would be okay with continuing to exchange payments every week, even including the new costs. It’s puzzling to me why they made that assumption without discussing it with me first. Am I wrong for refusing to pitch in for babysitting when I don’t have any kids?

The response from both parents and people without children was pretty clear.

• «As a parent, I would NEVER expect anyone to cover my babysitting costs. Especially someone without kids and not involved at all.» Woodnote_ / Reddit
• «When we’ve vacationed with childfree friends, we paid a bigger share and paid per person for our kids. Kids are extra, and anyone choosing to have them knows this. You can’t just expect those people who are childfree to budget for your kids and your choices.» hinky-as-*** / Reddit
• «4 people can’t each pay $25 for the babysitter? Honestly, that’s a pretty good rate for a night out.» NoFee250 / Reddit

• «The last time I was at a former friend’s house, she hit me with a similar line. Her „love language“ is spending time with her friends, and basically, I should feel privileged that I was „taking her time away from her kids.“ Her kids were in the living room watching YouTube. If I hadn’t been there, she would have been in the same spot in her kitchen, and the kids would have been in the living room watching YouTube.» Jef_Wheaton / Reddit
• «I don’t think you’ll win this battle in any satisfying way. Four sets of entitled parents have decided you should pay for their choices. They’re not going to change their minds when they have the majority, and it benefits them so much.» LittleMsSavoirFaire / Reddit

Check out this story about a woman who courageously shared with her mother-in-law that she has a secret child from a past relationship, and how her mother-in-law’s reaction brought her to tears.