Family trips are meant to bring everyone closer and create happy memories that last a lifetime. But sometimes, difficult decisions or hidden tensions can turn these moments into painful experiences. Blended families, in particular, can face unique challenges when it comes to fairness, acceptance, and love. Recently, we received a letter from a reader who shared a heartbreaking story about how her husband excluded her older daughter from their family vacation.
Dear Bright Side,
We planned a trip to Disneyland for our daughter’s 10th birthday. We invited her best friend too. But my husband refused to take my 12-year-old daughter. She cried, but he said, “If her dad can’t pay, I won’t! I’m not a charity!”
So we went without her. Without telling him anything or showing my disappointment, I decided to put a stop to this. There, during the trip, I smiled the whole time so as not to ruin our daughter’s birthday.
But on the last night of our five-day trip, I placed a document on our bed and left the hotel room. My husband began to beg when he realized I had secretly filed for divorce. His dismissal of my daughter was more than I could take. He says I overreacted and told me not to ruin our “perfect” marriage over this.
Still, I can’t forgive him for treating my daughter that way just because she’s not his flesh and blood. And this will teach him what it means to be abandoned and have his family taken away. Aside from this, he’s a good husband and truly cares for our daughter.
Do you think I went too far asking for a divorce over one trip?
Regards,
Lynn
Dear Lynn! Thank you for sharing your story with us. We’ve prepared some guidance to support you as you work through this delicate situation.
I wouldn't have waited to the last minute of going to Disneyland without both of my daughters. The friend could have stayed behind for one. But, aside if a man can not except all the children as equals then his not the man to marry to start with.
I call fake on this. He's ok paying for the *friend* who's not his child but not his wife's other daughter..Plus she filed for divorce. On vacation. Who was caring for the 12 year old..oh.. doesn't matter because..BAD WRITING....
Fake. Yeah she got divorce papers that quickly and took them to Disney Land but didn't decide to give them over until several nights in.
So YOU went anyways?? YOU should have filed BEFORE the trip!! You'll be VERY lucky if your daughter forgives YOU! Don't back down you already failed her once don't do it again! Kids BEFORE partners!! ALWAYS!!
The child is the one who should file for divorce from both parents
The OP should NEVER have gone on the trip. She should have postponded it without letting her abusive husband know, taken EVERY cent out of the bank accounts, changed the locks, took his name off all cars, houses ect, hired the best divorce lawyer and made sure he never saw his daughter ever again but paid 95% of everything he makes to her for child support and spousal maintance. If he is going to abuse and bully a child he shouldn't be allowed near another. Then after all that take both daughters to Disneyland on his dime and without him.
This is a bit excessive or overboard but yes she should have postponed the trip and filed for divorce
I have a feeling there's more to this story than what we're being told. Why doesn't the husband not want to share this experience with his bonus daughter? Does she live with her father or with the mother and her husband? Was father asked to help fund the trip for the girl? There's a lot of holes in this story. Wife is sounding like a martyr while her 12 yr old daughter is heartbroken.
Fastest and most effective way to hurt a partner is through the children. This dude doesn't sound like a keeper to me; OP mentions that he really cares for THEIR daughter, not his bonus one. I also could not stay with someone who purposely makes a child cry to satisfy some strange economic reasoning.
The man would have taken the older daughter as well, if the birthday girl wouldn't have asked for her friend to go, I'd bet. What's wrong is the cowardly mother, lying(smiling the whole time) lets him pay for everything, get a free Disney trip then, "I want a divorce.". If she really had a problem with it then she wouldn't have gone on the trip at all instead she was just a psychopath.
Divorce is the only answer!
You win worst mother of the decade.
Shame on you for going without your daughter. I can't imagine how you could possibly explain the reason for leaving her behind that would not be devastating to a 12 year old. Your husband should have received divorce papers immediately and you should have explained to your younger daughter why the trip is cancelled. I'm sure she would have been disappointed but be a parent and give her a life lesson about her sister's disappointment and hurt feelings. By you not taking your daughter, you may have set up a lifetime of her resentment of you and the younger sister. SMH
Wait so she still went on the trip? Is any of mom's money going into this trip? I understand wanting help with paying but why would she go without her child. She's the worst one in the situation.
Absolutely did not overreact. I would never have left my child behind though. First talking like that to a child, cruel and abusive. I think he's done this before otherwise he wouldn't have been so bold. From a child's perspective ,not defending her at the time of the abuse, you betrayed her. You should immediately have told him no. You can't allow your one child to feel privileged while your daughter from previous marriage is treated like an orphan from the past. When being an orphan came with abuse. Children depend on parents for protection, safety, affection, boundaries and knowledge, and guidance. All my kids are always above my husband. I always make sure he knows if they feel hurt he will feel my anger. I never let children be treated lesser. You are going to have to apologize to your daughter because you didn't defend her. The divorce was great but before divorce you should have set boundaries that should never be crossed for a happy continuous marriage. Leaving your daughter was more cruel than stopping him and addressing the issue immediately. He might have made an effort to change given the consequences. But I think going on a trip, with the image of your child crying because she's not considered family was cruel in itself. Counseling and make measures to ensure she doesn't ever feel like she's not loved and safe in her own home, that she is a valid member of the family. This will take time to repair. She is a person and knows exactly what she feels. Don't dismiss her because she's young. Kids know and understand far more than you believe. Teaching your children to communicate might seem hard during arguments but people argue and it's normal. No body always agrees. Good luck and no body is perfect but always try your best when you are parenting.
Your husband invites his daughter's friend but too cheap to pay for his step daughter. I don't understand why you didn't put your foot down prior to the trip? There's only a two year difference between the two, that's pretty cold blooded. Get rid of him.
While this Disneyland trip is the catalyst, ask yourself honestly: Is this part of a larger pattern of exclusion, cruelty, or financial manipulation? If this behavior is new and shocking, you may be reacting to the betrayal of your expectations—thinking you knew who he was.
But if this reflects something deeper he’s never addressed—his inability to fully embrace your first daughter—then divorce may not be an overreaction but an overdue reckoning. In that case, proceed without guilt.
I would never have gone on the trip without the older daughter so you failed there, 100%.
Filing for divorce the way you did tells me this is the straw that broke the camel's back. He's done thing like this in the past and you've reached your breaking point, and good for you. But now you need to work on fixj g the relationship with your older daughter. You really let her down
Your daughter was the one most directly hurt by this. Whether you stay in the marriage or not, you need to reinforce—clearly and frequently—that she is just as much a part of your family as anyone else.
Ask her how she feels about your decision to go without her, and explain your reaction afterward in an age-appropriate way. If she believes you prioritized your younger daughter or didn’t stand up for her until it was too late, that hurt may linger even if the marriage ends.
Rather than centering the conversation on the divorce filing or your own anger, sit down with your husband and walk him through exactly how your 12-year-old daughter felt being excluded. Ask him to imagine being in her shoes—crying while her sister, mother, and even her sister’s friend were invited on a magical trip that she was denied, solely because of who her father is.
Highlight how this could cause lasting emotional damage and foster resentment. This approach gives him a chance to reflect and possibly acknowledge his failure, not as a husband, but as a stepfather.
Why would she go on the trip in the first place and leave one child out. Clearly the husband is dreadful to treat a child like that.
You’ve already filed for divorce, but that doesn’t mean it must be final immediately. Consider pausing the proceedings and suggesting family counseling, not just for you and your husband—but including your daughters.
A trained therapist can help unpack what happened, assess whether this was a deep-seated belief or a one-time act of cruelty, and explore how your husband truly views your older daughter. This path allows space for healing without requiring instant forgiveness or commitment.
Life can take turns far more shocking than anything we see in movies or TV shows. Real events, full of raw emotion and unexpected twists, often leave us speechless—and they don’t come with a script. Here are 12 true stories that are so powerful, they could easily break into Google’s trending list.
Nah, girl, just divorce him. You shouldn't have to explain something so simple (daughter's feelings being excluded) to a person who supposedly loves you. That's a form of weaponized incompetence. Once you withdraw those divorce papers, it'll get worse.
Run!
Why is you paying her way considered charity. You are her mother. He knew you had a daughter before he married you didn't he? Aren't you an equal partner in this marriage? Your contributions to this marriage (having his child. Keeping his house) should cover any costs for your oldest daughter. You too are responsible for her care not just her biological father. His treatment of you is passive aggressive, hurting you deliberately then trying to pin it on the biological father. You should divorce him immediately and find a real man who can treat both your daughters equally.
If you reverse the sexually of any of these stories where a mom does this the web almost always sings a different tune. Stepchildren can be disrespectful little monsters...perhaps he is trying to force her biological father to take so.e responsibility...she never mentioned any of this and because a female said it it's "aw divorce him take away his children and bork bork bork..." and ya'll keep saying not your child not your responsibility until it applies to only your situational needs...dudes get no slack unless they abandon their kids.
You stayed with him for 10 years? Why didn't you pay for your own daughter? you could have pawned your wedding ring, a piece of jewelry he gave you, then took your 12 year old daughter along for the memories, then served him divorce papers. Let's see if baby daddy 3 will pay for Disneyland for the kids.
