My Husband Prefers Donating His Money Instead of Using It to Save My Dying Mom

Family & kids
2 months ago

Fiona finds herself in the midst of an incredibly challenging moment in her life. Her mother’s health is declining, and despite having the financial means to assist, her husband has opted to donate the funds to a charitable cause as a tribute to his late son. This decision has left Fiona deeply saddened, and she has reached out to seek guidance during this trying time.

This is Fiona’s letter:

This man is in the habit of saving for the necessities of life (eg a college fund for his son). This appears to be a value of his. Values are a deeply held part of who we are. Suggest you respect and value the man you saw so much in when you chose marriage.
Also, this is his way of dealing with his grief, another deeply personal life experience that no-one should deny him.


Thank you for sharing your story with us, Fiona! Here are some tips that we hope can be useful.

Memorialize together.

Suggest a joint effort to honor both your stepson’s memory and support your mother’s treatment. Propose creating a lasting tribute to your stepson within the context of aiding your mother, such as naming a room in the hospital after him or establishing a scholarship fund in his name that also contributes to your mother’s medical expenses.

This approach allows your husband to honor his son while addressing the immediate needs of your family.

Create a financial plan.

Work with your husband to develop a comprehensive financial plan that considers both short-term needs and long-term goals. Highlight the importance of prioritizing urgent medical expenses, while also setting aside funds for future emergencies and memorializing your stepson.

By collaborating on a clear financial strategy, you can ensure that both your immediate and future needs are addressed in a balanced manner.

Utilize community resources.

Explore community resources and support networks that may provide assistance for your mother’s medical expenses. Research local organizations, charities, or crowdfunding platforms dedicated to helping families facing medical crises.

Engage with these resources to supplement the college fund and alleviate some of the financial burden, allowing your husband to fulfill his desire to honor his son while still prioritizing your mother’s care.

Family meeting.

Does anyone else wonder how long this couple has been married? I need more information before giving a response.


Arrange a family meeting involving both your and your husband’s relatives to discuss the situation and seek collective solutions. Present the dilemma openly, emphasizing the gravity of your mother’s condition and the financial strain it imposes.

Encourage family members to contribute their perspectives and resources, fostering a collaborative effort to address the crisis. By involving the broader family network, you may discover additional avenues of support and solidarity in navigating this challenging time.

Jim and his wife are yet another couple arguing over money. Jim recently discovered that his wife had been hiding her savings from him. His wife insists that Jim doesn’t have the right to her money, but he strongly disagrees. Find out their full story here.

Preview photo credit freepik / Freepik


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