This is BS. He shouldn't 'help' you with keeping house or child care. He is equally responsible for the upkeep of your shared home and the care of your child. When I was growing up in the 1960s and 70s, both of my parents worked and were full partners in the home. When my dad came home from work, he wasn't the babysitter. He was the daddy. He and my mom shared household chores. Sounds like there needs to be some clear communication between the two of you. Don't settle for less than full partnership in the marriage.
My Husband Said He Won’t Help Me With Anything While I’m Pregnant
According to research, women aged 25-34 spend 51% more time doing housework than men of the same age. But, the thing is, this gap does not only apply to women without jobs, but also to women who go to work. And while sometimes cooking and cleaning around the house can be satisfying and stress relieving, other times it can be exhausting. One Bright Side reader experienced some tension with her husband after he said that regardless of her being pregnant, she must continue with the usual household work.
We at Bright Side received a letter from Bella, asking us for our guidance, and we hope our advice will help her ease her situation.
Hey Bella! Thank you for coming to us with your problem. The Bright Side team read your letter carefully, and we came up with some advice that we hope will help you make your situation easier.
- Explain to your husband that there is a risk of complications at every stage of pregnancy. While pregnancy is one of the most exciting and sensational times of a woman’s life, it is also one of the most uncomfortable and stressful. Maybe your husband isn’t cognizant of such facts related to pregnancy, and it’s better to talk to him about how overworking yourself can, in some cases, harm both you and your baby.
- Chores that require bending and lifting heavy stuff like doing laundry and cleaning the floor can be risky for the mother and should be avoided. Also, oven cleaners, bleach, and other cleaning agents can harm an unborn baby. You should point these things out to your husband to let him know that you can’t do all the things that you did when you were not pregnant. And if he still doesn’t want to help you with household chores, ask him to get a maid, so you can keep yourself and your baby safe.
- You didn’t tell us what and how much your husband works. Maybe, at the end of the day when he comes home, he is too tired and doesn’t have the energy to help around the house. If this is the case, you should step in his shoes for a moment and see where he’s coming from. Talk to him openly and explain that you don’t have the same energy as you used to, and try to find a solution together. Maybe your parents or siblings can lend you a helping hand.
- Your health and well-being are one of the most important things you should care for, especially at this point in your life. And you are not wrong to be mad at your husband. You are his wife, not his maid. You are pregnant not only with your child, but with his too.
And he is supposed to be there to meet your and your child’s needs. You and your husband should be a team, not rivals. This is something your spouse needs to understand. But if he’s not willing to cooperate, unfortunately, problems like this will most likely occur often.
We hope this advice will help you resolve this tough situation with your husband. And maybe you’ll grow a stronger and more compassionate relationship.
Did your partner help with household chores while you were pregnant? What advice would you give to Bella?