My Husband Secretly Took a Job in the Place I Swore I Wouldn’t Go Back To

Relationships are built on trust, communication, and mutual respect. But when one partner makes a life-changing decision that goes against everything the other person has stood for, it can lead to difficult choices and unexpected consequences.

One of our readers reached out to us.

I had a very difficult childhood, hopping from one foster home to another and when I became old enough to leave, I swore I would never return to Rhode Island. My husband knew this from the very beginning. He said he respected my wishes, but then applied for a job there.

What hurt me the most is the fact that he didn’t even tell me—he only mentioned it after he got the offer and expected me to be happy. Turns out his boss was actually one of my old family acquaintances, someone I had cut ties with for good reason. My husband acted surprised, but I could tell he already knew.

When I confronted him, he admitted he thought I’d “change my mind” once it became real. As if my feelings were just temporary inconveniences he could ignore. The worst part was that I just found out I’m pregnant.

But if he thought I’d stay just because of that, he was dead wrong. I’ve already spoken to a lawyer. He made his decision—now I’m making mine.

Trust your instincts and set boundaries.

If your partner knowingly disregards your firm boundaries, it’s a sign of deeper issues in the relationship. Pay attention to how they handle your feelings—are they dismissive, manipulative, or genuinely remorseful? Trust yourself to recognize when a situation is no longer healthy for you, and don’t let guilt keep you trapped in a place you swore you’d never return to.

Seek legal and financial advice early.

If you’re considering divorce, especially while pregnant, consult a lawyer as soon as possible. Understanding your rights regarding custody, financial support, and property division will help you make informed decisions. If you don’t have your own income or financial independence, start planning now—open a separate bank account, secure important documents, and create a safety net for yourself.

Lean on a support system.

This kind of betrayal can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or support groups who will stand by you. If returning to your past environment is emotionally dangerous, explore alternative living arrangements, even if temporary. If necessary, consider therapy to help process your emotions and gain clarity on your next steps.

Prioritize your mental and emotional well-being.

Leaving a marriage, especially while expecting a child, is overwhelming. But staying in an environment that disregards your needs and triggers past trauma is even worse.

Focus on what will bring you long-term peace. Journaling, therapy, or even simple self-care routines can help you navigate this transition. Your happiness and stability matter—not just for you, but for your future child as well.

Life doesn’t always go as planned, and sometimes, the hardest decisions lead to the most necessary changes.