My Husband Thought I Was Asleep and Admitted Something That Broke Me

When secrets are whispered in the depths of the night, they can unfurl in the most unexpected of ways. Relationships can crumble, marriages can end in divorce, or love can be strengthened. One of our readers, Mary, reached out and shared her story with us.

This is Mary’s story.

Dear Bright Side,

My husband and I got into a huge argument the other night. He wanted to go on an extended business trip, but I was nearing my labor and wanted him to stay with me so we could be together when our baby was born.

Things escalated pretty quickly, and he decided he would sleep on the couch that night. I was devastated. It was so hard for me to comprehend why he didn’t understand my side of the story. But he was insistent and there was nothing I could do about it.

The argument continued over the next few days, with things getting more intense. I tried to explain, but he wouldn’t listen. He just kept saying that he would lose his job if he didn’t go on the trip, but never said why it was such an important thing for the company.

Then one night I was struggling to fall asleep and just laid in bed with my eyes closed. My husband came into the room and knelt down next to me. He wiped my hair away from my face and whispered, “I should never have gotten you pregnant. It has turned you into a monster.”

I was devastated. He always said he wanted us to have a baby together, but now it seems that was the biggest regret of his life. I spent the next few days thinking about what he said and wondering if I had really changed during my pregnancy.

It’s really difficult for me to tell. Yes, there were days when I was overly emotional or annoyed. And I did ask him to get me stuff when I had severe cravings. But aren’t those things normal?

I sat down with him last night and asked him if he really meant what he said. He told me that I had been unbearable over the last few months, and he just wants it to end. He confessed that there was no work trip; it was just an excuse so he could get away from me.

Now I’m at a loss, Bright Side. My husband is considering a divorce. What can I do to stop things from going too far?

Regards,
Mary R.

Dear Mary, thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with us. We understand that this is a difficult situation. But it’s important to remember that there are two sides to every story. Here are some tips from our editorial team that might help.

Understand where he’s coming from.

Your husband’s actions might seem uncalled-for and harsh, but he has suffered through this with you. It’s only human for us to become overwhelmed when times get tough, and we each have a different way of dealing with that. Your husband has stood by your side through everything in the last nine months, and it has started to affect him. It’s something many first-time parents don’t consider. And it’s also completely normal.

Don’t wait until it’s too late.

It’s important to understand that you can’t let these emotions fester because that will destroy your relationship. Sit down with your husband, ask him to express the things he’s been holding back and apologize. Understand that this is coming from all the pressure that has been placed on him, and he might’ve just lashed out.

Acknowledge his efforts.

You might not have noticed this, but some men experience pregnancy symptoms too. So your husband might actually have experienced much more than you’ve physically seen. But even if he hasn’t, you need to acknowledge everything he has done for you during this time and thank him for it. We don’t always see our faults, and we tend to take our partners for granted most of the time.

It’s so easy for us to put blame on the other person, but things often turn out differently if we see them from the other person’s perspective, and that’s what Mary needs to do now.

But have you ever considered what would happen if your partner accidentally cost you your career? Another one of our readers reached out to share her story of how her boyfriend’s help undermined her career. Read the full story here.