My Husband Was Silent When His Mother Was Berating Me and Insulting Our Child

2 months ago

For most people, relationships with in-laws are real challenges. Constant fights with them can put a strain on even the strongest marriages. Our reader was shocked to find out what her MIL really thinks of her. What’s worse, her husband also heard it and his response made our reader reconsider her marriage.

Our reader shared a story with us.

Thank you for reaching out to us! We’re sorry to hear about what you’re going through. We’ve put together some tips that we hope might make things a bit easier for you.

Consider whether he can change.

Consider whether he’s capable of changing his behavior. It seems like he might not have strong enough feelings toward you to change or protect you from your MIL. He allows his mother to insult you and your daughter in your own house.

Besides, he witnessed it and still seemed fine with it. Decide if you’re ready to continue living your life with such a man by your side. He will likely avoid all kinds of conflicts, especially around strangers, so you’ll always need to rely on your own support.

Reconsider your relationship.

It might be hard for you to respect or trust him again, which is understandable. His silence means he agrees with what your MIL said. Otherwise, he would have said something at least, and not necessarily in an offensive manner.

He could have politely calmed her down, but he didn’t do that. For him, the so-called respect for his mother outweighed his love toward you. It’s unlikely he’ll ever change his way of thinking, so you decide whether to accept him or leave.

Cut off contact with your MIL.

Try to stay away from your mother-in-law as much as possible. Don’t let your daughter see her, and tell your husband about it. After that heated conversation, he probably understands why you want to make such a decision.

If you still want to stay in the relationship, avoid your MIL and don’t ask her to babysit anymore. Her behavior toward a child was aggressive, and you can’t be sure of your daughter’s safety when your MIL is around her.

Try going to couples therapy.

If you believe that your husband can change for you, try couples therapy. A qualified therapist can help your husband resolve his issues and voice his opinions without being scared of judgment. Right now, it seems like your husband can’t handle any kind of confrontation. Therapy can help him express his feelings and stand up for your family next time.

Marriage isn’t always a storybook romance, there’s always a lot of work involved. However, even when we break off our relationships, our exes can still mess up our life. In this article, our reader’s ex wants her to be a surrogate because he doesn’t want to ruin his wife’s body.

Preview photo credit Artem Nedzelskiy / Unsplash

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