My MIL Embarrassed My Son but Karma Had My Back

A lot of MILs disagree with their sons’ decisions to marry a certain woman. Some MILs could feel threatened by this new woman or simply believe she’s not up to standard. In this case, Emily faces off an entitled MIL who thinks her son only married her because she was pregnant rather than for love.

My MIL crossed a line and lost everything.

Dear Bright Side,

My MIL says that I got pregnant just to marry her son. He’s rich and six years younger than me. Last week, she invited us to her 50th birthday. She looked at my 7-year-old son, then told all the guests, “Here is my DIL and her lottery ticket!”

My husband stood up and said, “Yes! And you will never be able to see them again!” He was quiet for the rest of the dinner. An hour later, we all heard my MIL scream. We left the dinner table and found her crying.

My husband had gone inside and removed all our photos from their frames, including his childhood pictures. He had also left her a note: “Don’t ever embarrass my family again!” Her beloved son had turned his back on her. The guests left early.

I’m not going to lie, I’m happy that he defended me, and I feel like I “won.” But I also know this decision might hurt him in the long run. Do you think I should initiate a reconciliation, or are we better off without her in our lives?

Yours,
Emily

Dear Emily! Thank you for sharing your story with us. We’ve prepared some guidance to support you as you work through this delicate situation.

You need to talk to your husband first.

Your husband’s explosive reaction suggests deep hurt and possibly long-standing tension with his mother. But you can tell him that maybe his reaction was a bit too harsh. You need to be honest about what you thought of his outburst. Consequently, he might reconsider his choices.

Send a letter to your MIL without expecting a response.

If you feel emotionally ready and want to attempt closure, write your MIL a private, honest letter. Don’t defend yourself or attack her. Instead, state how her “lottery ticket” comment humiliated you and could impact your son’s sense of belonging in the family.

Let her know that any future relationship depends on mutual respect. Don’t demand an apology, just lay the truth out. This can either open a door or serve as a dignified closing gesture if she continues to act destructively. Be sure you tell your husband about this letter as well.

Ensure your child understands that he is not the problem.

You son may not have understood what happened during your MIL’s birthday. So, it’s best you sit down with him and talk him through it. Let him know that adults can have big feelings like his dad, and sometimes they let it out. If he wonders why your dad’s mad at his grandma and you’re not speaking to her, you can say, “When someone is unkind over and over, we sometimes need space to keep our hearts safe. Right now, we won’t see Grandma for a while, but that’s a grown-up decision.”

Not all MILs are out to get their sons’ wives. Some MILs will actually go against their children to defend their wives. Like this MIL who stood in her son’s wife’s defense after he cheated on her with a co-worker.