Please don't blame your husband. In today's world, even sons don't help their parents. Why don't you find some job and then pay their rent through your paycheck. Or you can do this, save something from the money your husband gives you to manage household. Keep the savings aside and later give it to your husband as rent .
Hi Bright Side,
My parents are in serious debt. They had to sell their home to pay it off and have nowhere to go now. So, I asked my husband, who is a landlord, to let them stay in one of his rentals for free, until they get back on their feet.
His response completely disappointed me. He said, “This is my business, I’m not a charity! They have to pay full price.” I went to tell my parents the next day, but my mom told me he called her first and told her that he offered her one of his places, but only in full price. So he basically just rubbed it in their faces that they have no money.
He’s so insensitive. He could’ve at least given them a discount or a couple months free just until they’re able to pay him back. Was he in the right to ask for full price?
Stacy D.
Family is important, but he has a family as well, you and any children. This is his business, what pays his bills. Any money he gives away will affect retirement, children, etc. Plus your parents made huge financial mistakes. He and every landlord who reads this will tell you not to do this. Your parents are embarrassed and afraid. Do you honestly think a month or two or a discount is going to save them. Leaning on their daughter for help will not make them in any hurry to get out of free lodging. They will tell themselves that he can afford it. What you should have asked, 'Do you know of anyone who is renting something they can afford. You do not want him to be seen as ungenerous for whatever happens if they are not settled somewhere." He married you. He did not agree to support your family, whatever culture you are from.
Thank you, Stacy, for sharing your struggle. If your husband refuses to offer a rental for your parents, that is definitely off, especially if he already has other rentals that provide enough passive income for him to live comfortably. This lack of generosity is a bad sign and things can get worse in the future. You might need other things, and he might outright refuse to give you them because “he’s not a charity.”
Separation is a big step, but it might make him realize how big his mistake was. He needs to realize that if he was put in the same situation, you wouldn’t blink an eye when helping his parents. This stingy behavior is just not fit for a comfortable and happy marriage, especially if you’re considering having kids.
Why don't you support your parents? You sound as irresponsible as your parents.
You didn't specify in your letter, but is managing his rental property your husband's primary source of income? If so, you're basically asking him to take a salary cut in order to support your parents. You also never mentioned why your parents lost their home--was it due to a sudden emergency, or a pattern of overspending and bad investments? If the latter, then your husband probably understands that by letting your parents in for free, he will never get rid of them. But he will still have to pay mortgage, maintenance, and insurance on that apartment as long as your parents are there, and people rarely respect free stuff. Your emotions may be clouding your judgement, but I agree with your husband--in the long run, he is actually protecting your own future. You need to work with him and the rest of your family to find a solution for your parents that doesn't involve them being permanently dependent upon your generosity.
Well, I guess that depends on if 1. Are they senile? 2. Are they frivolous spenders? 3. Are they just expecting that their kids will bail them out? I would go from there for an answer.
If you don’t have money to give your parents, you can try asking your relatives if they can stay over there for a few weeks or so, until they find a job. You can also offer them a place to stay in your house. If your husband refuses, tell him that you’re out of options.
Finding out that your husband is far from who you thought can feel like a big slap in the face. But, the best thing to do is give an ultimatum. Otherwise, living with a stingy spouse can lead to more hurt and despair. Just look at how stinginess can badly affect your life from these stories.
Why is it always ok to spend other people's money? Did you even think to ask what his financial situation is? What if he is leveraging all of his properties to get something better and is counting on rental income to pay the basics?
I can't believe your guys advice to take his refusal as a bad sign
It's his rental, not yours. Whatever he chooses to do with it is his business.
If they were that far in debt they are obviously not good money managers. What makes you think that will change? Are they working?
