18 Times When the Phrase “Don’t Tell Your Mother” Was the Beginning of an Unforgettable Story

A shared secret always causes a feeling of companionship, especially between parent and child. While some children may not be able to keep their mouths shut for long, it often makes the situation even funnier; unless the “revelation” is accompanied by a scolding. However, those moments remain engraved in our memories for years, warming our hearts every time we recall them.

• Dad and I used to rent a movie each week for when Mom had dinner with friends. Usually things like Star Trek or action films. One day (I was about 11), he came home with Blade. We got about 10 minutes in, and he turns to me and said, “Don’t tell your mother about this, let’s just say I forgot to get a movie this week.” Of course, I agreed. Fast-forward 7 years, dad blithely drops at the dinner table the fact that we watched Blade when I was about 11. © checkoutmyaasb/Reddit

• When I was about 6 or 7, we were really hard up for money at the time, so we cut down on all expenses. My mom would go out of town for work every other weekend. My dad would save up a few dollars, take me to Waffle House for breakfast, and we’d go for a walk on the beach. Then he’d take me home and let me play a game on his work computer. He would always teasingly tell me not to tell Mom about this. I don’t think she would have been mad, but it was fun to have something just the 2 of us would do together. © TwentyandTired/Reddit

• This last Christmas, my 4-year-old helped my wife wrap one of my gifts. The next day, while my wife was at work, she came running through from her bedroom first thing and yelled excitedly, “Daddy! Daddy! I helped wrap your gift. It’s a surprise. It’s a slushy maker!” I told her, “Honey, that’s awesome, but you aren’t supposed to tell me that.” And she replied, “I know, I know, but it’s a slushy maker! I’m just so excited to make slushies with you!”
  I was crying with laughter at this point and told her that it was an awesome gift but to keep gifts secret, we wouldn’t tell mummy, so she wouldn’t be disappointed that I knew what it was. I ended up telling her that evening because it was just too funny and cute. © RancidLemons/Reddit

• My son randomly walked to the kitchen at 3 a.m. and saw me eating ice cream. So I got him a bowl, and we were whispering like nerds (he was 4), and I said, “Don’t tell Mom.” Didn’t do the dishes and the following morning my wife asked who had had ice cream, and my son pointed right at me. © conejo454/Reddit

• I have always worked in restaurants and would get home late at night. On Fridays, I’d treat myself to takeout. Not just any takeout, the bad stuff: cheese fries topped with meat or steak nachos with guacamole. When my girls were little, they would sneak down late at night, and we would munch bad food and watch really bad funny movies. © Astrochef12/Reddit

• My dad used to wake me up at night when I was in middle school to watch comedy shows with him. We would be absolutely wheezing with stifled laughter while my mom snored through it all. Thanks for this sweet memory. © lbklmn/Reddit

• When I was in middle school, I was the only one willing to go shopping for groceries with my dad. He didn’t want to go alone, my mom was at school studying for her master’s, and none of my siblings wanted to go with him. We used to have a big breakfast, and then we’d go grocery shopping. Nobody knew, not even my mom.
  He would also let me buy any cereal I wanted. That’s how I learned how to buy good fruit and veggies, how to order meat and fish, etc. When my siblings found out, they were angry because “they would’ve gone if a big breakfast was on the menu.” © vickyaage/Reddit

• My dad used to take me on any errand he had, not just to the grocery store. This could be the reason for why I absolutely love doing errands as an adult. If Dad needed to go to the bank, we’d swing through McDonald’s for some fries. Need to fill the gas tank? Let’s grab a shake. He always said that if I told my mom or brother, then we couldn’t do the extra things. © monkey-cuddles/Reddit

• I was up playing video games and watching YouTube while my wife and youngest were sleeping. My oldest daughter was having a hard time sleeping in her room (she was 4) and I could hear her tossing and turning in her bed, so I went in and brought her out to the living room with me. I made us hot chocolate and built us a blanket fort. We watched YouTube, played Pokémon, and ate candy until 8 a.m. © NEX105/Reddit

• When I was very little, Dad worked the first shift and Mom worked some evenings. Dad liked to watch The Twilight Zone and the like. I enjoyed them too, but would get scared after he put me to bed. That’s why Mom ruled that I was not allowed to watch them anymore.
  Every time Mom was at work, I would wheedle until Dad let me stay up late and watch his shows with him. I would promise that “I’m bigger now, I won’t get scared. I’ll go right to sleep.” And every time, Mom would get home from work at 10 p.m. and I’d still be awake, wide-eyed, and scared of the dark. © accio_peni/Reddit

• When my sister and I were 5 and 10, my father used to have 2 jobs. He would leave in the morning and come back when we were already in bed, so we barely saw him most of the time. But 1 or 2 Sundays every month, he would go to our bedroom and wake us up for a little treat he had bought for us, asking us to not tell Mom. © andres_latino/Reddit

• When I was in middle school, my father bought computers and monitors for us 4 kids and himself. The 5 of us would play World of Warcraft together for many days and always log off one hour before Mom got home. We’d rush all the chores in that one hour. That’s when we had teamwork at its finest. Mom never found out. © theNameless97/Reddit

• My favorite memory was when I was 8 and Signs had just come out on DVD. My mom said I was too young to watch it, but I had an alien obsession thanks to my dad. He woke me up before school, at around 5:30 a.m., so we could watch it while my mom was still asleep. I was so tired throughout all my classes, but it was still the best day ever.
  That movie was so creepy! We were both laughing and jumping the whole time. I have a huge tattoo of a UFO over the Signs crop circles to remember him. © emcdubos/Reddit

• We had just moved into a new house when my wife’s beloved cat ran away. We spent the next few days looking for it and filling out missing cat reports at the various animal shelters around. Six months later, we get a call that our cat had been found and was at a vet’s office about 10 miles away. My son and I got in the truck to go check it out, and it really was our cat!
  We put it in a cat carrier in the back of the truck and drove home. After about 5 miles, a car behind us started honking and got us to pull over. The cat had gotten out of the carrier and was walking along the edge of the truck bed. We got it back in the carrier and then placed it inside at our feet. I said to my son, “Never tell your Mom about this.” © eaterw**d/Reddit

• My pop and I had a “sneaky kids club.” It basically means we did fun stuff, and we didn’t tell Mom about it. We stayed up late, ate junk food, played games, and, once a year, I skipped school to play around at an arcade or whatever.
  As a kid, I assumed my mom never knew about it. What made it so fun was that it was a secret club that was just me and my dad. Now my pop does the sneaky kids club with his grandkids. Turns out, Mom always knew about our club and was just a great sport and happy to see my dad and me having fun. © bodaciousbeb/Reddit

• My dad came to school when I was in 4th grade, in his suit and looking very serious. Went to the office, checked me out of school, and came to my class to pick me up for “an appointment.” I was really worried. He walked to his car, loosened his tie, and took me to the movie theater to see Star Wars: Episode V — The Empire Strikes Back. We ate candy he had smuggled in his suit jacket pockets. © 755goodmorning/Reddit

• I remember a time when I was maybe 7, and it was a school night. My mom was out, and I was put to bed at 9 p.m. I got out of bed and asked my dad if I could stay up and watch the hockey game with him. I ended up staying up until the end of the game.
  When we heard the garage door open, my dad swooped me up, hit the lights, and ran me up to bed. He said, “Don’t tell your mother, so we can do this again next week.” Ever since I was old enough to appreciate that, I plan on doing the exact same thing with my future son or daughter. © Mad-Observer/Reddit

• We were not allowed to eat fast food as kids. We lived in a pretty rural town and, when I was about 7 or so, a McDonald’s was built across the street from my house. I kept asking to go, and they always said no. I asked my dad one day while I was home from school, and we finally got McDonald’s on the condition I didn’t tell my sister or mom. © americanplant/Reddit

How old were you when your dad first said, “Don’t tell your mother”? What was it about, and were you able to keep it a secret?