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We at Bright Side found out why you shouldn’t demand your kid to stop crying.
While crying is a natural way to signal that something is wrong, as kids grow, the meaning of tears broadens, and they become used to reducing stress and bad feelings. It happens because when we’re stressed, the body releases cortisol. It’s not a chemical that you want your kid to have since it blocks their part of the brain that’s responsible for solving problems. And tears reduce a certain amount of cortisol, making it the body’s natural way of making the kid feel better.
There are a lot of rules and boundaries that kids might not like. You may have witnessed kids having tantrums because they can’t eat the dog’s food, sleep on a tree, or hit friends. When this happens, tears are actually helping your little one to accept the reality and to adapt to it. When the kid shifted from anger to tears, their brain switched from pursuit to sorrow and has already processed the disutility of what they were hoping for.
Kids need to be allowed to experience and express their feelings. A parent’s task is to make sure that this expression fits within their boundaries, like not hurting themselves or others and not damaging items around them.
When kids are allowed to express their emotions safely (even sad ones), their social skills and emotional intelligence will improve.
Researchers found that crying releases oxytocin and endorphins that will make your little one feel better and reduce any physical and emotional pain. So, the next time you see a child falling from a bicycle and try to make them feel better, don’t demand that they stop crying.
When we feel distressed in the presence of a crying child, we actually make things worse. The study indicated that preschoolers whose parents had a harsh reaction to their negative emotions found it more difficult to behave in a socially accepted manner and had anger-management problems. Regardless of why toddlers are shedding tears, they need a safe environment to express their emotions.
What is your reaction to kids’ tears? Have you noticed any changes when you’d let them cry it out?