10 Parenting Mistakes That May Hit Like a Boomerang a Few Years Later
Parenting is no easy task by any means. A study even shows that parenting mistakes, such as hyper protection, directly impact the behavior of children, even later in life. And while parenting requires devotion, there are still some mistakes that may occur that will reverberate later in life.
At Bright Side, we understand that parents try their best to provide everything for their kids. But, unfortunately, there are some things that may result in bad consequences later on. And some of them are so subtle, we think you ought to know about them beforehand.
1. Keeping your child in a permanent comfort zone
It’s no surprise that parents love to keep their kids comfortable. Parents will often make decisions in order for their children to stay safe, even in situations where the child has to experience trouble in order to be self-sufficient. Ensuring your child is always accustomed to being in their comfort zone may result in an adult who is afraid to make their own decisions or take risks, which may be important for his/her career later in life.
2. Not sticking to your words and promises
A study found out that young children feel like they should stick to their promises. They also expect others to keep their promises. That being said, there are situations in which parents promise rewards or actions to a child that aren’t kept. This may result in a child who thinks their mom or dad acts forgetful or even inconsistent.
This can create an adult who has trust issues or is inclined to focus on safe immediate pleasures rather than waiting for long-term rewards.
3. Not encouraging curiosity
Children are eager to learn. For a child, the world is a place to be discovered, and nature itself will raise a lot of questions. The first ones to be asked will naturally be by the parents. But, unfortunately, sometimes, due to a crazy daily routine, the answer to a question like, “Why does it rain?” might be, “That’s just the way it is.”
This kind of answer might sound like a cut-off for a kid’s curiosity and can discourage them from indulging in critical thinking. Later on in life, this might result in an adult who isn’t interested in science or understanding how things function.
4. Not apologizing to them
If you are a parent, you’ve probably snapped at your kids in a moment of stress or overreacted over a situation that was simple. In cases like these, it’s important to take a moment to calm down and apologize in a sincere way. Take a breath and talk to your child, explaining why you were wrong. Set an example by acknowledging their emotions and telling them you’re sorry.
Not doing this when you’re clearly in the wrong may give off an image of someone who doesn’t care for other people’s feelings or that doesn’t acknowledge mistakes. This could result in an adult who ignores the feelings of others and won’t care to re-establish meaningful relationships (even though they might be the wrong ones).
5. Suppressing your child’s emotions
What parents should understand is that using discipline to ensure kids’ good behavior is one thing, and taming their emotions is a whole different beast. Parents should also avoid minimizing their child’s emotions by saying things like, “Men don’t cry,” or “Don’t be so dramatic,” and so on. Reprimanding a kid’s emotions may cause cognitive functions to be affected, like memory. In order to raise a healthy adult, always be sure not to suppress, but rather, understand their feelings.
6. Not accepting their thoughts
Some parents end every argument or demand with “because I said so.” They won’t acknowledge their child’s opinion into a matter that involves them. Parents should remember that giving children a voice to express their opinions is a way for them to feel empowered and responsible for their own decisions. Ignoring this may result in an adult that might refrain from expressing themselves or feel like they have nothing important to add.
7. Always providing everything for your kid
If your child says they want a toy and the gift is almost always certain, chances are, they’re being spoiled. By handling everything your little one wants, it may give them the message that things come easily and don’t require hard work. This also goes for allowances that don’t require chores to be done. By making this mistake, parents could raise an adult who takes things for granted or that doesn’t put forth an effort to get anything.
8. Encouraging inappropriate behavior
Suppose you, as a parent, see your kid mocking another child. What would you do? Some would pull their son/daughter aside and demand that they apologize for being mean. Others would laugh it off and permit the situation to go on as if the child will just figure things out.
The bad thing about this mistake is that the kid will understand that the parent is compliant with that type of behavior and would continue to do it themselves since their actions weren’t reprimanded. This could result in an adult who is irresponsible toward his/her actions or compliant with other people’s bad behavior.
9. Having “no” be the answer for everything
Some parents may be overly restrictive. Some parents’ personalities might include “no” as an answer to many of the children’s claims. Although it is important to follow rules and have good behavior, saying “no” to most ideas and wishes may reflect on a child who’ll grow up either feeling emotionally rejected or wanting to refrain from telling their parents information about their own lives in fear of rejection.
10. Being a bad example for your child
Children will easily learn what adults teach them. This goes for things related to social learning, different skills, doing good deeds, and also bad things. If a parent is used to having an attitude toward other people, treating others badly, or using swear words, chances are their kids will understand that this type of behavior is acceptable and will mimic them. In order not to face this type of bad behavior in the future, parents should be an example for their children.
What parenting mistakes do you think are most impactful on child-rearing? Did you experience any of them? If you have kids, what’s the one mistake you tend to be careful about?