11 Rules Our Parents Followed That May Puzzle Us Today

Psychology
2 years ago

20-30 years ago, our parents had no access to books about raising kids or online seminars for psychologists and teachers. Children were raised intuitively, very often based on their parents’ experience. This is why there’s nothing surprising about the fact that many values our parents thought were immutable are actually not. And these rules really puzzle us today.

We at Bright Side looked back at our childhoods and made a list of things we now think our parents shouldn’t have tried to teach us.

1. A college education is an indicator of your status.

“You can’t find a good job without going to college!” Many people must have heard this when they were teenagers. And lots of us believed this but now don’t even know where our college diploma is. More than 41% of people that finished college have jobs that don’t require this kind of education. Today, employers are more interested in the practical skills of their employees rather than their qualifications.

When you finish school, it may be wise to take a gap year to understand what you really want to do and decide if you actually need a college education.

2. Being plump is healthy.

Children that always finished their meals were praised, and being plump was believed to be healthy. But bad eating habits formed in childhood often result in weight problems and eating disorders.

3. Classes are good for kids’ development — the more, the better!

A very tight schedule can exhaust children, which is obviously not good at all.

Famous American teacher Douglas Haddad recommends that parents slow down and give their children time to discover their own talents and then decide if they need additional forms of education.

4. Money can’t buy happiness.

We wish this were true, but life says otherwise: money can make you happier no matter what other people say.

Parents should teach their children the basics of budgeting. This will help kids form the right habits in money management and reach financial success in their adult lives.

5. Older children are responsible for younger ones.

Very often, older children had to spend a lot of time taking care of younger ones. Parents had to work a lot and there was no other choice. But older kids had to sacrifice their time with friends and hobbies for the needs of their younger siblings.

Psychologists say that sometimes when kids have to perform the duties of parents, it may lead to psychological problems: they might not want to have their own children.

6. Women are housewives and men are breadwinners.

I have an amazing simple example of this my mum always pushes me to help her clean the table when we have friends over even if I don't want to, to teach me how to be a good hostess the kitchen always looks overcrowded with women chatting/ helping (very inneficient) and men talking at the table.

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In recent decades, gender roles are not as important anymore. Women today can build successful careers and men can go on paternity leave and manage things around the house.

7. Women have to be able to cook and sew, and men should know how to fix things.

Some people today aren’t able to sew or make chairs, and it’s perfectly fine! Today, there are experts that you can easily hire to do anything for you professionally.

8. There’s nothing more shameful for a woman than having children without a husband.

Wrong, again. Today, there’s nothing surprising about single mothers and they’re not frowned upon as they were 30 years ago. Very often, having a child without a husband is an informed decision made by a woman. More than that, in the past 30 years, the number of single fathers has increased 1.5 times.

9. Expressing your feelings is a weakness.

For some reason, people used to believe that expressing your feelings by hugging a child or praising them, for instance, could spoil them. And the result is not positive at all: generations of parents that didn’t get enough love from their parents can’t give love to their own children.

10. It’s important to be thrifty.

In the past, when people didn’t have enough money, they required their children to be more careful with their clothes. People used to not use certain things before “it was time.” But today, you can buy the most necessary items, even if you’re not a millionaire.

11. Storks deliver babies.

Some topics were never discussed — like when kids asked where babies came from, parents often said that they were delivered by a stork. Because of this, young people would often get into their first relationship without any knowledge of their bodies. They only based things off of the advice they received from their friends and bits of information from books and films. All these experiences could lead to bad consequences, including problems with both physical and mental health.

What childhood rules became irrelevant when you grew up? Tell us in the comment section below!

Preview photo credit Depositphotos.com

Comments

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1. is up for debate, it kinda depends on the country you are in, where I am from having a degree is important, but not how you expect it to be... So just having any degree is a good thing because it shows you are dedicated to studying and achieving something.. so yes, you should get a degree if you can

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Also, not everyone should just study... it's okay if you can't or simply don't want to. there are plenty of jobs where you don't need one and those jobs are also very important

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for sure, if everyone studies, who will be a cashier? Those are some of the most important jobs today

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haha yes it became very clear during the lockdown which jobs are ACTUALLY important

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1, 2, 3, 9 & 11 are nonsense, and were even when I was a little kid.

4, 5, 6, 7, 8 & 10 are all basic values in our house, though.

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Hilarious to think that the writer of this thought that there were no books on raising kids 20 years ago. There were hundreds. Even my mother had Dr Spock and that was the ‘60s. Whoever wrote this has a odd idea on how things were 20 years ago. We had books! We even had the internet!

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