12 Times Kids Dropped Truth Bombs Adults Weren’t Ready For

Children have an uncanny ability to say exactly what is on their minds when you least expect it. Sometimes their confessions are so sweet they make you rethink your whole life. And others, well... Others leave you in shock for weeks. In this article, we have compiled 12 confessions from children that have caused absolute chaos in the lives of the adults who heard them. We are sure that after hearing them, the users who shared them never looked at kids the same way again.

• When my daughter was about 4 years old, she had a habit of waking me up by standing 4 inches from my face and staring at me until I opened my eyes. Once my eyes opened, she’d say, “Mommy, your face is beautiful. I want to wear it on my face.” © Unknown author / Reddit
• My 4 year old son had a habit of announcing when he had to go to the bathroom. He would say, “I have to go potty.” One time he announced his business and went to the bathroom. He comes back seconds later and says, “Someone is already in the bathroom.” Now I know for a fact that it’s just the two of us at home, so the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I ask him, “What do you mean?” He repeats, “Someone is already in the bathroom.” I tell him to stay here. I go to the bathroom, take a wide angle to look in, no one. I walk slowly and quietly to the shower and pull back the curtain.
  
  Nothing.
  
  My son has come around the corner and I ask him, “Where did you see the person?” He points to an unflushed toilet and says, “See, someone’s already here.” And what was there? Well... His big brother didn’t flush the toilet... © JohnnyBrillcream / Reddit
• My oldest daughter was about three at the time. She loved (and still loves) My Little Pony, so she had lots of little ponies to play with. I could hold half a dozen in my hand. She also had a kitchen that she loved to play with. One day I went over there and she had some of her ponies in a pan on the kitchen counter. I asked her what she was doing, and she looked at me and said, "These ponies are now bacon. Oh, wow. © f*122 / Reddit

• My two year old has been running out of rooms screaming lately. The reason is always, “A guy! A guy!” I would go into the room and ask what was wrong. She would point at the empty room in horror and whisper, “A guy!!!” At first I thought I’d have to rethink everything I thought I believed about ghosts. Then I realized that “a guy” was actually “a FLY”. She is afraid of flies. © Unknown author / Reddit
• My five-year-old son asked me last week, “What do you see through the black circles in my eyes when you check me at school?” © jelb32 / Reddit
• My 5 year old speculated that the Tooth Fairy probably takes the teeth to put in her own mouth, so she has millions of teeth in her mouth. Yikes! © gallopingwalloper / Reddit

• A client’s 5 year old asked me how old I was. I said, “Actually, my birthday is next week. I’m going to be 34.” She looked at me with a completely blank face and said deadpan, “Oh wow, another year. Maybe.” © HundRetter / Reddit
• “I’m beginning to forget the names of the people who live in my head.” No context. Right in the middle of cleaning time. © PatentedOtter / Reddit
• My 6-year-old son was unusually happy the whole ride home. I asked him why. He said, “Tomorrow is Tuesday! I get to play with my other dad.” I chuckled, confused. “Your what?” I asked. He smiled and said something that made my stomach drop: “Mom picks me up early sometimes, and we go to the park, and my other dad brings snacks.” That night I confronted my wife and-yes. She confessed. She said she had been seeing him for about 4 months before I caught them. A few days later I started the separation process.

• “Daddy, there’s a caveman in your kitchen!”
  
  It was a sticker she put on the floor. © Unknown author / Reddit
• I told my daughter that I loved her, that I loved her sister, and that I loved Mommy.
  
  “What about you?” She said.
  
  “What?”
  
  “Do you love you?” She wanted to know. © rawbface / Reddit
• When I was about 4-5 years old, I tried to dress up as Batman using stuff from our pantry. I used my mom’s leather jacket that came all the way down to the floor, some black boots, and an open-face ski mask that kind of hung down over my eyes. So I went to my mom’s room to wake her up and show her my cool outfit. She woke up in a poorly lit room to a three foot tall thing dressed all in black with no legs and a ski mask poking her in the eyes (I can’t imagine the horror). She jumped away screaming until she realized it was me, then we burst out laughing. © MmJuicy / Reddit

Now you know... Never underestimate the power of an innocent little voice. Hungry for more childlike genius? Check out this article where we have collected stories that showcase the unique and surprising humor of children. Because if there’s one thing they have in abundance, besides honesty, it’s a sense of humor you won’t find anywhere else.