13 Things You Might Be Doing That Leave Your Kids Financially Unprepared

Raising financially responsible adults starts much earlier than most parents realize. The habits children form at home—especially around spending, saving, and money mindset—often follow them well into adulthood. While every parent wants the best for their child, certain well-intentioned actions can unintentionally lead to poor financial habits later in life. In this article, we’ll explore 13 common ways parents accidentally raise adults who struggle with money—and how small changes today can build a foundation of strong financial literacy for tomorrow.

1. Pushing their child to choose a career too early

The notion that an individual must hold the same occupation for their lifetime is a fast-fading memory. Numerous current jobs didn’t exist a few years ago, and some long-standing ones already don’t.

• Max was always fascinated by computers and enjoyed figuring out how different programs worked. His parents, however, thought that his interest was a waste of time. Max stumbled upon software testing courses online—and now he is doing well in the field, turning his hobby into his career.
• Laura, 37 today, was a sociologist with a large consulting firm. But once she had given birth to her son, she could no longer devote the same amount of time to her career. During maternity leave, she rekindled her love of photography, starting with creative photos of her child. Soon she was doing photo shoots for children of friends. A few years later, Laura had her own photography studio. She now earns the same as her husband and can manage her career and home life effectively.

2. Stopping their child from learning through failure

A strict parent has unrealistically high expectations from themselves—and as the child matures, they begin to look for the same. The artwork the child produces is never satisfactory, the bed is never made enough, and homework is never “attacked” in the right manner. Criticism is always present, but the child is never given the facilities or space to correct. These children over time either become perfectionists themselves—constantly seeking approval—or become low-esteem and doubting individuals. Neither is a good foundation for a healthy or secure lifestyle or career advancement.

• Anna grew up hearing her mother say things like, “You’re so messy! Look at Mary—she’s always neat.” No matter how hard Anna tried to change, her efforts were met with even more criticism. Her mother never took the time to guide her through simple tasks or teach her how to manage them. Now 25, Anna still compares herself to others—and in her mind, she always falls short.

3. Immediately buying everything your child wants

One of the hardest things—for kids and adults alike—is learning to wait before caving in to purchasing something they really want. It’s hard not to resist spending money on a new toy or trendy clothing, no matter how old we become. That’s why it is important not to cave in right away whenever a child demands something, even if they whine that “everyone else has it.”

Rather, prompt them to wait—maybe for a few weeks or even months. Preferably, tell them to use their own money for the purchase. More often than not, this by itself will dampen their enthusiasm for the item. And if they’re still interested and decide to buy it on their own, don’t jump in at the very last minute and pay for it. Doing that can rob waiting of its worth and undermine your authority. Teenagers will be more likely to value and take care of what they’ve bought with their own money.

4. Failing to build smart saving habits early on

The world is constantly changing, and what worked in the past to earn or save money may not work today. With an uncertain future economy, it is impossible to determine which skills will be required. That is why it is essential to teach children how to be adaptive and flexible, rather than saving money.

• Jessica grew up watching her grandfather carefully hoard money “just in case.” But when that moment came—a financial crisis—his investments and savings plummeted in value. Witnessing this take its toll on her, Jessica now lives with the nagging fear that another economic collapse can happen at any given time. In her head, the best investment is not a bank—it’s investing in developing her own expertise and knowledge.

5. Shutting down their child’s emotions

Sometimes, adults unconsciously teach children to deny or repress their feelings. They might say to them that bruises don’t hurt, that it’s overreacting to be angry with a child who punched you, or that it’s not necessary to feel sad no matter what the reason is. Even though these responses typically come from a desire to have well-behaved children, they can be self-defeating. Instead of teaching children to manage their feelings, parents may invalidate them. But in modern times, perhaps one of the most valuable attributes anyone can acquire is being capable of comprehending, expressing, and managing feelings and needs.

• Kate, who is currently 37, still recalls that day her mom forced her to give away the doll she dearly loved. Her mother told her, “It’s greedy to want to have it, and you shouldn’t be upset about a silly toy.” Kate did not see her doll again. As an adult, she’s learned hard to stand up for herself—to pushy colleagues or a hostile boss. But with every “no,” she’s wracked by a crushing feeling of guilt.

6. Not defending their child in front of others

Each child needs to have faith that, no matter what, their parents will be sensible and reasonable and won’t accept the word of a teacher, a school administrator, or a neighbor without question. By permitting children to defend themselves before an audience, especially one of authority figures, they send an important message: your voice is heard. When a child is held accountable for his or her actions, he or she will be more likely to develop good self-esteem and a good sense of responsibility.

• Maggy was raised by her grandmother, who constantly intoned, “But what will people think?” Although her grandmother cared deeply about her and did so for the best, she never ceased to emphasize the importance of other people’s opinions. As a result, Maggy turned into a self-doubting adult. Even today, she just can’t seem to make up her own mind—she can’t even order a dessert without asking someone else.

7. Showing the hardships of adult life

It’s completely natural for children to witness their parents being sometimes sad or stressed at times—that’s life. But if sadness or fighting is a common occurrence, it can be exhausting. The family dynamics shift, and the child may feel they have to step in as the emotional support system. At times, they start believing adulthood is all about strife and disappointment, and they get nervous about becoming an adult. But to become a career and thrive as an adult requires emotional maturity and self-assurance.

• Sarah grew up in a tense environment. Her parents would fight a lot, and her mother was constantly grumbling about how unlucky life was for their family compared to other individuals. Sarah left home at age 17 to attend college in a different town. Even then, it took her many years to overcome her shyness when faced with individuals who appeared to be faring better than she did.

8. Comparing their child to successful people

Every generation looks up to its own set of heroes—people young minds aspire to imitate. In recent years, the personal success stories of wealthy and influential individuals have become especially popular. At first glance, it might seem like all you need to do is follow their path to find happiness and success. But if it were really that simple, everyone who read their biographies would already be financially secure. The truth is, success is rarely one-size-fits-all.

• Alex had a passion for computers from a young age. After his father read him the story of Steve Jobs, he became fascinated with Apple and began researching everything he could about the company. Inspired by Jobs, Alex decided he didn’t need a college degree either—after all, his idol succeeded without one. However, he eventually enrolled in college anyway, realizing it was necessary to move forward in his career. Now, he laughs and says, “What worked for Steve Jobs turned out to be a detour for someone like me.”

9. Always stepping in to prevent conflict

Good communication is probably the most valuable skill a person can have in any professional field. It’s not just about knowing how to be friends—it’s also about knowing how to end arguments with respect and in a positive way. People will always disagree, and knowing how to convey feelings without causing more conflict is important. The sooner that a child knows these things, the less complicated their interactions later on in life, both personally and professionally, will be.

• Michaela had spent the majority of her life avoiding conflict. Always, it was better to comply than to risk ruining a confrontation. She had learned in her upbringing that the person “had to be the bigger person,” but this repression of herself kept her forever ignored and taken for granted. This all changed when she came across active listening. She began applying it at work—listening carefully to others and standing up for herself when someone was attempting to take advantage. Initially, her new approach surprised her coworkers, but over time, their disagreements were more respectful and constructive, often leading to solutions that benefited everyone.

10. Assuming all learning happens in school

It’s worth noting, also, that school and real learning are not necessarily the same. While textbooks and classroom assignments may be dull, so too do trips to the museum, the theater, or an art museum present interesting paths to learning—and are great places to spend family time together as they expand the knowledge of a child.

• The author of this piece still looks back fondly on the time that she went with her grandfather to the history museum in her hometown. That modest trip gave birth to a love affair with the subject. She now enjoys watching documentaries, taking trips to new destinations, and never stops being curious. As a bonus, the knowledge she’s gained often proves useful in her job.

11. Avoiding conversations about healthy social media habits

Today, social networks serve the same purpose for kids as neighborhoods and playgrounds once did for previous generations—they’re places to connect, learn, and share. Through these platforms, children can quickly pick up valuable skills, especially with the help of apps and tools integrated into social media. While it’s important for parents to teach online safety, completely denying children access to this digital world can be more harmful than protective.

• Aria’s mom was surprised to discover that her 10-year-old daughter had learned how to create impressive videos. She was even more shocked to find out that TikTok had been her teacher. What started as a solo interest has now become a shared family activity—making short videos together has turned into one of their favorite hobbies.

12. Using money as a reward for academic success

The debate continues over whether to pay kids for good grades or not. But let’s reverse the situation for a moment: imagine you’re a contractor, constantly paying for a service—while your kid becomes the service provider, delivering results for rewards in exchange. It starts to feel more like a transaction than a healthy learning process, doesn’t it?

• Alexandra’s parents tried to bribe her into studying by offering her money in return for good grades. It worked at first—she was bringing home good report cards. But then they discovered she had been telling her teachers exaggerated stories of illnesses and even told them her parents relentlessly berated her for performing poorly. One teacher, in sympathy, quietly inflated her grades. Her parents stopped the payments after this incident and went to see a child psychologist to understand what had gone wrong.

13. Forcing sports as a path to personal growth

While sports are often praised for teaching discipline and building character, the world of competitive athletics can pose serious risks to a child’s physical and mental well-being. When the pressure to win becomes too intense—whether from coaches, parents, or peers—it can create an environment where only the top performers matter, and everyone else feels left behind. For a young child, this sense of unfairness can quickly lead to low self-esteem. And if they’re ever forced to stop competing, many are left unsure of who they are or what else they’re capable of.

• Chrissy’s mother had once dreamed of becoming an Olympic rhythmic gymnast, but an injury ended her ambitions. Wanting to pass on her passion, she enrolled Chrissy in gymnastics classes at just three years old. But Chrissy struggled to succeed, and as time went on, she began to see herself as a failure. Her schoolwork suffered, and she spent years unsure of her strengths or direction in life. Now, Chrissy is training to become a child psychologist—determined to help other parents avoid the same mistakes and support their children in finding their own paths.

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