15 Times Grandparents Roasted Their Grandkids Without Mercy

In a world governed by rules and decorum, grandparents break the mold with their unapologetic charm and wit. Join us as we dive into 15 hilarious stories that showcase just how wonderfully unpredictable our beloved grandparents can be!

• One Thanksgiving dinner, I discovered the rubber ducks on the table could work as squirt guns. I used one to squirt out a candle near my grandpa. He quietly tried relighting it, but the matches and lighter failed because the wick was wet. With a sigh, he left the table.
  We assumed he went to the bathroom, but he returned with a blowtorch. “Alex, I’m going to light this candle if it’s the last thing I do,” he said. With a hiss, the torch roared to life. He melted the candle halfway down before the wick caught fire, then casually replaced the blowtorch with one of the ducks and resumed eating his potatoes.
  The table was silent for 10 seconds before we all burst out laughing. Every year, we joke about “Grandpa’s blowtorch Thanksgiving.”

• My maternal grandfather was convinced that he could single-handedly disprove climate change. He said he was recording the high and low temps in his city every day, and eventually would get that information sent somewhere (never explained where) to get it disproven. He tried to convince me to continue this data collection after he died, but I declined. © taniamorse85 / Reddit

• My grandfather-in-law, who’s an intelligent guy, thinks a Zero-Hour Contract means that employees can just turn up whenever they want and then leave early with cash in their pocket. He thinks this proves that “no one wants to work anymore.” © Glozboy / Reddit

• My mother said to my daughter while she was pregnant with her first, “But how can you be a good mother with those tattoos?” © Green-been77 / Reddit
• My grandad was watching Star Wars with me, and he commented on how clever the people were that trained the cats and dogs. He thought the Ewoks were cats and dogs in costumes. © Unknown author / Reddit

• When I was a teenager, I was telling my grandpa about how prom was coming up soon and since both our boyfriends had already graduated, my twin and I were just going to go together. He said that he remembered his prom and that some hooligan had taken my grandmother. My grandma pipes up from the other room, “Oh, Jess, you took me to the prom!” and Gramps just chuckled to himself quietly. © DivinelyMinely / Reddit

• My grandad got a tattoo of a woodpecker in his old army days, he also got my grandma’s name underneath it. My grandma despised it and gave him the option to remove the woodpecker or remover her name. As laser tattoo removal wasn’t readily available when she asked, he did the only reasonable thing and got the tattoo artist to go over my grandma’s name with a thick black line. He still doesn’t regret his decision at all. © FriendlySeaBear / Reddit

• My grandmother believes that not only are vampires very real, but the majority of them live in Wisconsin. © taylor_ / Reddit
• Not mine, but I have a friend whose grandparents came to visit his family for a month, and they refused to let him leave the house to go to the gym after dark because the lack of sunlight would deplete his energy and ruin his ’chi’. Apparently, humans photosynthesize now. © Tactical****Inbound / Reddit
• I called my grandma to wish her a happy 77th Birthday and jokingly asked if she wanted to go to the club with me that night. She laughed and replied, “Well, I may get a drink or two, but I ain’t twerking!” © byrdman12103 / Reddit

• We were watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade and a bunch of power rangers came out and started dancing. My grandma asked if they were zombies. © richj43 / Reddit
• My grandma asked my sister if she was also dating my fiancé. © ARKOokami / Reddit
• My granddad once spoke Greek in Vietnam, thinking the locals would understand. But we’re French, and he hasn’t got any Greek blood, it’s just the only other language he speaks. © Womcataclysm / Reddit

• I’m a tattoo artist and my grandparents like to look at my arms, inspecting my skin, assuming I have something new every time I see them (I don’t). And one time at a nice wedding, my grandma tried to show me off and said, “Looking at her skin is like looking at the graffiti on the bathroom wall at a rundown gas station.” I genuinely had tears from laughing so hard!!!! It was crazy but funny crazy. © grlnamedsue / Reddit

• My grandfather was waiting for an appointment in a hospital waiting room, and a stick-thin valley girl strutted by, obviously swaying a little to get people to notice her. My grandfather turns to my aunt and says, loud enough for everyone to hear, “This hospital doesn’t fill me with confidence if the morgue can’t even keep the skeletons from escaping.” © alltherobots / Reddit

Grandparents may have the freedom to say and do as they please, but the beauty of young mothers and grandmothers is something truly magical. Don’t miss these 20 heartwarming photos that show just how much they can light up a room.