18 Seniors Whose Sharp Wit Proves Humor Only Gets Better With Age

Many people are used to thinking that both a sense of humor and a zest for life fade away with age. That’s where the stories about grumpy old men and angry elderly women come from. But in reality, it’s not connected to the age at all. Many charming seniors can make everyone around them laugh with their antics and jokes.

• I visited my grandma, entered the apartment, and no one greeted me. I walked into the room, and there she was, sitting in a chair staring at a turned-off TV. I thought she must have really lost it.
  But then she suddenly turned toward me and said, “Don’t worry, Kate. If you watch TV long enough, you might notice that blood pressure normalizes, stress disappears, and you experience pleasant relaxation. The key is not to turn the TV on!” © Ward N6 / VK
• Grandma was sitting on the couch, and my childhood friend and I were watching cartoons on TV. Then the commercials started, and there were girls dancing the can-can.
  Grandma watched them for about a minute, observing their movements, legs, and feathers. Then she said, “I bet I beat them all.” My friend and I were stunned. © daedalus1982 / Reddit
• I was in a bus once. A very old man came in, and the guy sitting in a row in front of me jumped up and asked the old man if he wanted a seat. The old guy replied, “Hell no!” and kept mumbling something about stupid young people and respect. © friis76 / Reddit

• Grandma is always pressing buttons and sending me template messages like: “Can’t talk now, call me later” or “I’m busy, we’ll discuss it tomorrow.” Today she sent, “Sorry, I’m in a meeting.” I call her, laughing.
  And she tells me, “I didn’t send this, it was an accident, but you know, I was actually in a meeting. I brought your mom some pies to work and wandered into some hall. They were discussing types of tomatoes, so I gave my thoughts on bad seedlings.” © Ward No. 6 / VK
• I’m relaxing with my mom at a wellness resort and realized that folks over 60 are worse and scarier than teenagers at a kids’ camp! Mom is 40, I’m 20, we are dead tired after all the day’s procedures and dinner at 7 p.m. But retirees roam around, slam doors, listen to music — it feels like we’re in a summer camp!
  The seniors are misbehaving! Where do they get so much energy and strength?! It’s nice to see that life goes on after 60, and it’s frustrating that before 60, you’re falling over without energy at 7 p.m.! © Overheard / Ideer

• My nan and grandad had been married for 60 years, so I asked her what was the secret to a long, happy marriage of 60 years. Her response: “I couldn’t tell you, I’ve been pissed off for 59 of them.” I could not contain myself. Hilarious. © xGiraffex / Reddit
• I went to meet my boyfriend’s family. His grandpa, almost 80 but still tall and handsome, looked at me with a grin and said, “Aren’t you lovely! What did you see in this one? I’m single, by the way.”
  Everyone froze. I took a deep breath and blurted out, “I’m looking at you and understand I made the right choice. You’ve got an impressive gene pool here. It will be a mistake to miss it.”
  I took my boyfriend’s hand, worried if I had overdone it. And I saw everyone laughing. I passed the test.
• My grandmother tries to avoid her neighbor who is in love with her. This conversation just happened. He: “Would you like to have lunch with me?” She: “I don’t eat.” © sssergeevna___

• My dad is about 70 years old. He recently bought a T-shirt with an inscription in foreign language on it, but he doesn’t know the translation. And now he proudly wears it because it says, “I only date top models.” © vietnanna_
• I went to visit my grandparents. Grandma immediately took me to the kitchen to feed me. “Grandma, where’s Grandpa?” “He has gone into oblivion, dissolved in the sound of water flowing away, he is not here...” whispered the old lady quietly, lowering her gaze to the floor.
  I was stunned, trembling all over, could it be... And then Grandpa’s voice came from the bathroom, “Old lady, stop telling this rubbish! I’ll only go into oblivion after you!” © Ward No.6 / VK
• My grandfather loves collecting very old things. It’s not exactly antiques, as these things usually hold no value.
  Once, my grandfather found some ancient newspaper from the early 1900s in his friend’s old garage. As he’s riding home on the subway, he opens it up and starts reading. He happened to notice a woman sitting nearby, who became interested.
  She was quite young, glancing between the newspaper and my grandfather, and he’s quite the joker. Seizing the moment, he asked her, “Miss, what year is it?” © Ward No.6 / VK

• My aunt brought her boyfriend over when she was in high school. She gave my grandpa a huge list of what not to ask him, “Don’t ask him about his family, his grades, his job, his hobbies...” So when he gets there, my grandpa shakes his hand and goes, “So.... Have you ever been in prison?” © sons_of_mothers / Reddit
• Once I was riding a bus and an elderly couple got on. The woman was almost blind, and the man helped her up the steps and then said, “Level 1 complete.” Then he led her to a seat. “Level 2 complete.” And when they were getting off, “Game over. You’re the winner.” © Overheard / Ideer
• I’m on a bus. One elderly lady, about 75, is talking to Google (the entire bus hears this polite conversation). “Please show me the blooming of roses of such-and-such variety” — “Showing you the blooming of roses.” There’s a pause as the grandma carefully studies the screen, holding it close to her face.
  “Thank you very much, these aren’t the roses I need. Could you show me a different variety?” — “There are many varieties of roses. I’m showing you.” Sadly, but still politely, the grandma responds, “I’m sorry, there isn’t what I need here. I’m turning you off, sorry.” © milapti

• I once visited my grandma, wearing fashionable ripped jeans. She grabbed her head in shock, saying, "Poor student, let me sew them up or give you money for new ones." I explained that it's fashion, it's supposed to be like this. She looked at me skeptically but nodded.
  She went digging through the closets, claiming she had something for me. She returned with a sly expression, handing me some bed linen, saying, "Here, I kept it aside to fix, but since it's fashion, go ahead and make your bed with it; otherwise, you'll be sleeping on unfashionable whole sheets."
  I love that I inherited her sense of humor.
• When my father-in-law found out that his daughter and I were expecting a child (his first grandchild), he congratulated us and then seriously said, "It's time" and left. We never understood where he went, but my wife assured me that sometimes he can be even stranger and told me not to pay attention.
  When my wife and I were heading home, we saw my father-in-law near the entrance playing chess with some other old men who, it seems, always play there no matter the weather. I asked him, "Why did you leave so suddenly?" And he replied, "I couldn't wait to get started on grandpa duties." I wonder what else is on his list of these "grandpa duties." © Ward No. 6 / VK

• My grandpa used to tell me all sorts of tall tales when I was a kid. About magical hedgehogs that keep the forest’s order at night, about sparrow spies that report everything to grandmas on benches, and even about secret tunnels under the city where mice built their own civilization.
  Now, he’s a great-grandpa, but his imagination hasn’t gone anywhere. Recently, my 7-year-old nephew got a “D” in his world studies class. The textbook asked why leaves turn yellow in the fall. And he confidently wrote, “Because at night, the Fall Gnome comes and paints them with a magic brush. And the most stubborn leaves he carries away in a sack so they don’t bother winter.”
  The teacher nearly had a heart attack in the parents’ chat, but I immediately knew it was grandpa’s doing again. Now we’re studying botany as a family, and Grandpa is officially prohibited from giving scientific comments. © Ward No. 6 / VK
• I’m riding a bus, a guy sits next to me and delivers the standard pickup line, “Miss, doesn’t your mom need a son-in-law?” So I tell him, “No, thank you.” We sit there in silence.
  Suddenly, a deep voice from behind us asks, “What about a husband?” I turn around, and there’s a guy around 40 years old. I smile at him and say, “Thanks, but my mom is taken.”
  I’m about to pull out my headphones when a man about 65 years old turns to me from the seat in front and asks, “Is the grandmother taken?” © mysteryytaless

What kind of gems did your grandparents come up with?

And these grandparents still know what fun means.