20+ Funny Taxi Stories That Turned Ordinary Rides Into Unforgettable Adventures

Ordering a taxi these days feels like the simplest task in the world: just tap your phone, wait a few minutes, hop in, and you’re on your way. What could possibly go wrong? As it turns out, quite a lot. From drivers who act like stand-up comedians to ones who think they’re auditioning for a Fast & Furious reboot, taxi rides can quickly go from mundane to totally unforgettable. Buckle up, as we dive into the funniest, weirdest, and most unforgettable taxi ride stories people never saw coming.

• Italy. Didn’t speak the language, it was the thickest fog I’ve ever seen (so think my plane had to divert twice.) so after landing I get in the taxi, give my address, and the guy drives like Michael Schumacher through this fog. I swear I died that day, and this is all part of the afterlife. © Unknown author / Reddit
• In Washington, D. C. I hopped in a cab and gave the driver my hotel address and after an unusually long ride I asked him if he knew where the hotel was, and he replied in a middle eastern accent “jyhes”. He kept driving, and finally I realized he was driving in large circles. My suspicions were aroused, so I asked him if he understood English, again I got “jyhes”. So I throw a question to him, I say, “when was the last time the Cleveland Indians won a World Series?” Without fail, he says, “jyhes”. At the next red light, I hopped out and hailed another cab. © 2cartalkers / Reddit
• We booked a “comfort” taxi at the airport because there were 4 of us plus baggage. And a small car arrived. We squeezed in and started to ask the driver what the difference between “comfort” and “economy” was. And he said, “When I drive, I’m never rude to my passengers. That’s comfortable.” © Fox l / ADME
• I called a taxi. We’re on the way, but the driver looks at me in a weird way. Suddenly he starts asking about my family, my dad’s job, my brother. And I start to feel uncomfortable. I think, “That’s it.” But as soon as we pull up, he asks me abruptly if I recognize him.
  Obviously, I don’t. He starts laughing and says he’s our neighbor from the first floor. © Ward 6 / VK

• Cairo, Egypt. Before the Arab spring. Grabbed a car by Tahir Square, and took my seat. We start driving, and 5 huge cockroaches crawl out from under the seat, and start flying around before the driver grabs them and throws them out the window one by one. ImAJollyLemonRancher / Reddit
• A “business” car arrived at the “comfort” rate. Everything would have been fine, but on the way, the driver asked to look at my app, studied my rating for a long time, and then went ahead and gave himself 5 stars. He also marked almost all the icons in the “What I especially liked” section and gave himself a lot of likes in the message. Of course, I deleted it all after the end of the trip. © Talami / Pikabu
• One time, my girlfriend and I were taking a cab from Georgetown over to the 9:30 Club in DC to see a Wilco show. We were from out of town visiting and now very accustomed to cab rides. He takes off like a rocket. We are being flung back and forth in the seat from all this racecar-esque driving. We begin to hear sirens and my immediate thought is he was getting pulled over for this driving. Nope, there was a fire truck in front of us in route to a call. We notice the cab driver get agitated with this, and all of a sudden he veers off on a detour.
  We are flying down a side street and literally beat the fire truck to the scene of the fire. Cab goes past without missing a beat and eventually drops us off at the venue. He then proceeds to apologize for the delay and taking so long. © jolly****per / Reddit
• Yesterday I got a taxi driver who was too talkative. Talked non-stop all the way. I was happy to get out of the car. And here I am at home, eating, and suddenly hear a phone call. I pick up the phone and there’s a man’s voice saying hello.
  It was that taxi driver! And he shamelessly says, “I haven’t told you the most interesting part of the story, listen...” I was stunned. © Ward 6 / VK

• I was sitting in the back, all windows closed, and wondering why I hear noise as if the window was open. Then I looked down and between my feet there was a hole in the floor! I could see the road! © ****st1cK1 / Reddit
• I’d had two taxi cabs cancel one morning when I was heading to a job interview, to the point where when one did turn up, I was well behind schedule. I didn’t explicitly ask the guy to hurry, but when he asked how I was and so on, I was honest about the situation. He must’ve clocked the level of stress I had going on and fair play, he very confidently goes “Don’t worry mate, I’ll get you there on time...”
  I wasn’t watching the speedometer, but I’d be fairly confident your man was not keeping it legal. True to his word though, got me there on time, and I got the job. Absolute legend. © nezbla / Reddit
• I’ve traveled a lot and had many a strange cab ride, mostly in foreign countries, but the one that comes to mind was a ride from the airport in Philadelphia to the hotel. I have no memory of the hotel, as we were on a tour bus the next day..... But I will never forget the Rastafarian man cabbie who gave me one of the most entertaining rides I think I’ve ever had.
  He’s driving like a madman through the streets of Philly yelling out on a PA speaker on the roof of his cab “No License, No Insurance, Get Outta My Way!!!” Meanwhile he’s holding down intelligent conversation with me and obviously enjoying himself. © You_What / Reddit
• A guy in a broken down Mercedes. He just loved his horn. He honked for every single person he saw, even if they were going the other way. He also honked for the cars, trees, road signs. And I couldn’t understand anything he said.
  In the end, before reaching my destination, he saw a lady on the other side of the road, so he braked hard and honked, which got 2 cars to crash into him. © Unknown author / Reddit

• I had an argument with a taxi driver because I gave him more money that I should have. He said, “Take your change.” I replied, “It’s fine, keep it.” He said, “Lady, just because I work in a taxi doesn’t mean I need your charity.” © NASSA*** / Twitter
• I had an Uber driver who didn’t stop talking and wouldn’t let me get a word in for 15 minutes. And then he started singing the Carter album, word of mouth style, with no rhythm, just saying the lines. Very awkward ride. © pdx_1 / Reddit
• I hailed a cab in Rome to take a couple of friends and me from the train station to a small hotel we were staying at. The driver was a nice-looking 40-year-old woman.
  Turns out she didn’t know where the street was. We were stopped at a light on a big Roman thoroughfare (Via del Corso, probably), when she rolled down the window and waved at a taxi in the lane next to us. She leaned out the window and had a short conversation with the other driver in Italian about where the hotel was.
  She rolled up the window. “That’s my papa!” she said, beaming. © Whizbang / Reddit
• I asked the taxi driver if he knew how to get to the address I needed. He got very offended and said, “Sweetheart, I’ve been in the taxi business longer than you are old.” He fixed his tie and turned away upset. © DJ Eva Fiesta / Twitter
• I hailed a cab and the driver turned out to be a dead ringer for an ex-boyfriend of mine. I sat in tongue-tied silence because we had broken up after a vicious fight. He drove me to my place, and while I was exiting the cab, I glanced at his ID. He had a different first name from my boyfriend, but the same last name. Had to be related.

• I was late and called a taxi. I climb into the car, and the air conditioner is on full blast in the cabin, it’s literally freezing. The driver himself had a hat and a down jacket on. I say, “Could you turn off the air conditioner? I’m freezing here.”
  And he replies, “It’s my first time driving this rented car. I got it this morning, and the air conditioner had already been on. I don’t know how to turn it off, and the owner of the car doesn’t pick up the phone, so I’ve been driving like this for 3 hours and freezing myself.”
  I put on my hat and gloves and buttoned my coat. We drove in silence for the rest of the journey. I got out, and the guy went on freezing. © Ward 6 / VK
• I asked the taxi driver if he knew how to get to the address I needed. He got very offended and said, “Sweetheart, I’ve been in the taxi business longer than you are old.” He fixed his tie and turned away upset. © DJ Eva Fiesta / Twitter
• Halfway through a ride, the cab driver asked if I minded that another guy take over. I said okay, and he pulled into a parking lot. A spiky-haired dude in pajamas climbed into the front seat
  and gave me a fist bump. “Ready to roll?”
  As I nodded, doubtfully, he gunned the engine, saying. “This is the first time I’m driving shift. So don’t mind any jerks.” I crossed my fingers and prayed to survive, and the rest of the drive was so bad, I nearly threw up when we reached.
• I couldn’t make it to the airport, so I booked a cab to pick up Grandma and asked my neighbor to let her in. All seemed fine, until I got home. I walked in expecting peace. Instead, I opened the door to chaos and total strangers. And there was Grandma, holding court.
  Turns out, she thought she recognized the driver, as the son of a friend of a neighbor. Nope. Different nationalities. I got the crowd out, and then sat my Grandma down to explain how it all works in my side of the world. She was not impressed.

If you enjoyed reading about these somewhat adventurous cab rides, here’s another such collection of anecdotes about salon appointments gone wild.