20 People Reveal the Harsh Truths About Growing Older

“To grow up” — a verb that as kids sounds full of promises: independence, freedom, being able to choose your own breakfast without anyone telling you anything. But what no one tells you is that, as time goes by, those illusions are mixed with unexpected bills: pain in new places, friendships that grow cold, and a sense of nostalgia that appears when you least expect it.

On the internet, hundreds of people decided to tell those hard truths-the ones that aren’t in the movies or motivational speeches-about what getting older really entails. We gathered 20 of the most shocking, brutal and, at the same time, poignant.

• The older you get, the less interesting and exciting things become. Did you use to love going to sporting events? Now, all you think about is how expensive parking is going to be, how much of a hassle the crowds are, and how you could have just watched the game on TV and been happy.
  Did you use to like going out to bars or clubs? Now, you just think about how bad the hangover will be, how annoying your friends will be, and how much you’ll want to go home. Even getting into a good film is harder when you’re older. Everything just seems “meh,” and you’ve basically seen all the storylines and genres already. © MostWestCoast / Reddit
• Most people will never live life the way they want because they are held back by fear, external pressure and their attachment to material things. If you find yourself making endless excuses for not changing things in your life that make you unhappy, you should be alarmed because you have been successfully socialized and brainwashed. © Guachole / Reddit
• At some point, you reached an age where people stopped making exceptions or excuses for you. No one is giving you the benefit of the doubt or making things easy for you. It’s just you, and if you fail, it’s up to you to fix your situation. © JayNoi91 / Reddit
• We must live with the consequences of our past and the choices we make in the present. © foshi22le / Reddit

• No one is going to come along and tell you that you’re doing a good job. You have to learn to validate yourself, otherwise you’ll constantly feel inadequate. © foxytocin2 / Reddit
• Generally, people aren’t out to get you. They’re just out for themselves. This is something that people need to understand as they grow older, in order to avoid becoming old, bitter and paranoid. © SubatomicGoblin / Reddit
• I learned that if you’re not feeling well, only you can do anything about it. A woman who worked with us gradually became worse and worse, and one day she died from the cancer that had been secretly affecting her all along. We all knew something was wrong, but ultimately, the individual has to take that step themselves.
  Sometimes, however, that step is impossible. She lived alone and had few friends. She also worked too much at a terrible retail job with no insurance. I’m sure she knew she needed to see a doctor, but her lack of insurance prevented her from doing so.
  Perhaps there was someone who could have helped her, but she would have had to seek out that help herself. What scares me most is that I could absolutely see it happening to me. I was only in high school when I witnessed this, but the realization that you have to advocate for yourself because your life depends on it stayed with me. © gowahoo / Reddit
• My mom always complained about having to figure out dinner every day, but I never thought it was a big deal. Now that I have to do it myself, I realize I should have been more prepared. © Time4aPennyCartoon / Reddit

• As adults, we constantly make countless decisions. By the time food comes into play, we not only experience “decision fatigue,” but also “decision paralysis” because we are tired of having to make yet another decision. I combat this by meal prepping and keeping some healthy, premade store-bought items on hand for those times. © JeffSpicolisVan / Reddit
• If you want to own a house, you will need a partner or spouse. It’s almost impossible to do so with just one income. If you don’t have a partner or spouse, consider getting a roommate. © TampaBro2023 / Reddit
• You have to be a strong person who is willing to love fully, yet be okay if the relationship doesn’t work out. That’s one of the keys to my happy marriage. It’s scary, but love grows from absolute self-confidence, which allows you to have faith in someone else.
  Most people will disappoint you. Someday, if you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who’ll give it their all. © questions7pm / Reddit
• The hardest part about adulthood is accepting that you’re truly on your own. No one is going to magically fix everything that’s wrong or hand you a million dollars. You have to navigate the world and find success on your own. That is hardcore! © goudasupreme / Reddit

• The most disturbing truth I’ve discovered since transitioning into “adulthood” a decade ago is that school prepares you for nothing beyond going to a soul-crushing job at an absurd hour every day, working pointlessly for eight hours, and then coming home.
  I was never taught how to do my taxes, buy a car, or find a good apartment. I was never taught how to survive in the “real world.” But at least I know that mitochondria are powerhouses of cells. Not even joking.
  The school system wastes so much time forcing kids to memorize useless facts. Then, when they graduate high school, they’re expected to know a ton of things they just don’t. They’re often ridiculed when they have trouble finding their footing in the big, scary world. It’s a nightmare. © Unknown author / Reddit
• You’ll realize that most of your relationships are merely products of your environment. You’ll also realize that when you graduate college, move, or change careers, you’ll lose many people you thought would be your friends for life. © Internetologist / Reddit
• For some reason, I always feel like, as an adult, there’s always something I have to do. I remember when I was younger, sometimes feeling like I had absolutely nothing to do, and being free to relax without worry. Now, I still have time to relax, but I always have the back of my mind occupied by thoughts of whatever task or errand I have to do. © highhopes42 / Reddit
• I’m a DJ and I perform at many nightclubs and festivals. I’ll never forget the exact moment I knew I was getting old.
  I was playing at a festival at 1 a.m. in a packed tent, and I was psyched. I looked out into the crowd, and the whole front row looked like children to me. I wanted to give them hot chocolate and call their parents. Then, I realized it was an 18+ event, and they were probably all between 18 and 21 years old.
  On another note, I sometimes have the crowd in the palm of my hand. I’ll decide to play what I’d consider a sure-shot floor filler. It drops, and—bang!—nobody recognizes it. This happened last weekend with “Forgot About Dre.” They didn’t forget about Dre; they just never knew him. © XRayDre / Reddit

• My son, his wife, and their kids were planning a family road trip. I called my son and said that I’d love to join. He paused and then replied, “Sorry, mom, but you’d slow everyone down.” His words stung.
  A day before the trip, my daughter-in-law came to my house and picked me up. When we arrived at the hotel, my son’s jaw dropped. But we ended up having a wonderful time.
  My grandkids clung to me like glue, and even my son eventually said, “I’m glad you came, mom.” Still, that first comment stuck with me.
• I’m in my early 30s, and I was talking to my dad about maybe having kids. At some point, he indirectly said that he won’t be around to see his grandchildren grow up. It was very sobering. He doesn’t seem that old to me. © Warden18 / Reddit
• I went to drop off Christmas cookies to some old neighbors who had kids I met when they were newborns. I babysat them when they were toddlers.
  When I showed up at the door, I was greeted by kids who were up to my shoulders. Of course, they asked, “Who are you?” The first thing that came out of my mouth was, “Oh my, you don’t know me, but I held you when you were babies and babysat you.”
  This was promptly followed by, “Oh no, I’ve become one of those weird people who can say that now.” I’ve heard this line a million times at church from people who held me as an infant and were old enough to be grandparents and great-grandparents. © DarkMage57 / Reddit
• You have to watch your parents as they grow older. Sometimes, you have to take on a parental role to ensure their safety. The hardest thing my dad ever had to do was tell my grandfather he couldn’t drive anymore. Remember to cherish every moment you have with your parents. © RennBear / Reddit

Growing older is not only adding years, it is learning to live with new certainties, and, many times, with the loss of others. Some truths hurt, others wake us up, but they all have something in common: they remind us that we are constantly changing. If you were left wanting more raw, but oddly comforting confessions, don’t miss this other compilation that will make you think... And laugh for not crying.