"Everyone Is Treating Me Differently,’’ a Woman Gets Frustrated With the Outcome of Her Weight Loss Journey

Losing weight is a challenging endeavor that often takes enormous willpower, dedication, and discipline. It can become incredibly frustrating, but still, many people are willing to get through the ordeal just to feel better about themselves.

The sad truth is that our appearance has an impact on our lives, and people often make assumptions about us based solely on our looks. But it seems like society is changing faster than many people can adjust. What was once considered a compliment and seen as totally appropriate has become unacceptable for good reason. This is exactly the situation one of our readers experienced and decided to share with us.

Hey, Amanda! First of all, kudos to you for dealing with your problems head-on and for taking steps to improve your life. You raised an important question that calls for an elaborate answer. We discussed it for hours, and here’s what we came up with.

• You cannot always influence other people’s opinions, and it’s okay.
  Sometimes, no matter what we do, we can’t seem to please certain people (and that’s totally fine), nor can we change their biased beliefs, but we can challenge them, just like you did. Just remember that if they feel the need to comment on your body, it doesn’t mean you should accept it. Tell them straight out how you feel about it every time they try to make it a topic of conversation. Hopefully, they’ll get the message and stop doing it at some point.

• Focus on how you feel, not on what other people say.
  We can imagine how hurtful the comments about weight can be, but just try to think of it as a way other people deal with their limiting beliefs. Put your feelings of well-being first, and try not to dwell too much on how others see you. If you’re feeling great about losing weight, then enjoy it and try to stay away from people who can’t resist commenting on your body all the time.

• Try to understand that people are often heavily influenced by beauty stereotypes.
  That’s one of the reasons why they don’t know how to behave around someone who doesn’t fit the beauty mold. Also, they are often not aware that their comments can put pressure on those who are struggling with losing or gaining weight instead of encouraging them. But if you try to see things from their perspective, you’ll likely find their remarks are less hurtful.

• Share your concern with people you trust.
  We can totally understand why you lost it, but the family gathering was probably not the most appropriate moment to discuss it. That’s why, if you feel the need to sort things out, it might be a good idea to talk to your loved ones again and calmly explain what’s bothering you and why you had a burst of anger. Stay cool and try changing their beliefs through constructive debate. Try to explain to them how to be supportive without discussing anyone’s weight.

• Focus on the good.
  This situation can help you weed out the people in your life who mean well but are just clueless and those who are mean and toxic. Plus, you can make use of your new-found popularity to meet new, like-minded people who will boost your confidence and make you feel even better about yourself. They didn’t know you before your weight loss, so they are not burdened by what you looked like in the past.

Have you ever been in this kind of situation? How did you deal with the problem? We’d love to hear your thoughts.