A Woman Got Divorced and Enjoys Life, but Her Ex-Husband and Children Don’t Like That

“I got divorced a year ago, it was the best decision I ever made,” with these words begins the story of a woman who has finally found time for herself. But it turned out that both her kids and ex-husband still perceive her as their maid. The woman turned to Internet users for advice. The support she received was overwhelming.

“I was basically a maid for the family, it was awful not to mention I was working at the same time. I was able to deal with myself not being respected, but the moment he started to try to make our daughter a maid for the family also, I knew I needed to leave. I’ve heard so much about her ’disrespect’ from my ex, which is just her not bowing to him.”

The woman also has other children, her oldest son is 17. After the divorce, she was finally able to appreciate the benefits of a free life: she had time for herself. Everything was going great: she joined a model’s club. Once a month she and her clubmates meet to show their creations, and she likes it very much. However, her happiness didn’t last long.

“My 17-year-old messed up this week, volunteered for a bake sale, didn’t tell me, and forgot to make cupcakes. I was about to leave for my meeting last night, and he was panicking about not having it done. He asked me if I could do it and I told him no since I was leaving. He was also leaving to hang out with his friend. This morning cupcakes were not made since I wasn’t doing it.”

“He left for his father’s and my ex also got in an argument with me about it and called me a jerk. But I wasn’t putting my life on hold for a simple mistake my son did.”

The woman mentions that her other children are not that stubborn and are ready to learn to be responsible. But her eldest doesn’t seem to want to change his ways.

“I’ve been trying to fix that, the middle child and youngest were the easiest to fix this lesson. My oldest not so much, it’s a pushback every time. It was a nightmare for him to pack his own lunch. He went without lunch for a whole week before he started packing food.

Years of a behavior is hard to fix especially when he won’t give an inch. He started washing his own clothes, and he still does it wrong, and ruins shirts (I put instructions on the washer for him), but he keeps adding bleach, and I think he is waiting for me to break and do his stuff again. I’m at a loss, and soon he will go to college or trade school and I failed with him.”

Internet users supported the woman.

• It’s not your fault. Your son needs to learn how to prioritize his responsibilities over his wants (he could have cancelled his plans with a friend), and learn that neglecting his responsibilities has consequences.
• He could quite easily have gone to the store before school to cover up his mistake. Instead, he threw a toddler tantrum and ran to Daddy’s. Your ex should mind his business as he no longer has any say in how you run your household.

Many people shared their own parenting experiences.

• My 28-year-old brother-in-law got bailed out his whole life. Super simple things like this post, until it kept escalating to more and more behavioral issues and dysfunction. As an adult he can’t manage his own life today and his parents continue to make “arrangements” for him to “help him out.”
• My daughter is around his age. I often tell her a week in advance, “I have plans on Wednesday, so if you need any help, ask me this weekend, Monday, or Tuesday.” It’s normal for her to occasionally forget things. She hasn’t learned the same calendar habits I have as an adult.
  It’s okay for her to fail occasionally due to poor planning and learn from it as I still do sometimes, assuming the consequences aren’t catastrophic. Final exams? College deadline? Okay, I’ll reschedule with my friends! Bake sale? I have plans!

In an instant, yesterday’s gentle baby becomes a “prickly” teenager, with whom it is not so easy to find a common language. Here are 7 tips to absolutely keep in mind when you have a teenager.