An Inheritance Dispute Is Tearing Our Family Apart

Keeping a family together is a responsibility guided by love and care. There are many challenges that may arise while doing so. Our reader shared her experience of how a family inheritance dispute put a rift in their family.

She wrote: "I’m a 64-year-old grandma, and I’ve had a rough few months. I recently transferred my house to my 18-year-old granddaughter. She's been under my care since she was 5, right after her father—my 44-year-old son—left to start a new life.
I wanted to ensure my granddaughter would have a home in the future, especially after everything she’s been through. I'm her only family ever since my son left, and I know that this inheritance will benefit my granddaughter."

After her decision, the situation took a turn when her son came back.

The woman wrote, "My son finally went home after years of no contact. He came home because he missed my home cook. I was touched, of course, I miss my son as well. He suddenly opened up about his argument with his new wife and asked for my advice, which I responded.
My son also asked about my granddaughter, I hesitated at first, but I shared how she was doing in all those years he missed. I noticed his smile and thought to myself that he still cared for his daughter. That made me comfortable enough to share about the inheritance. His expression changed, and he interrupted me, saying that he wanted to make up with his wife. I felt uneasy all of a sudden."

She added, "Days later, my son came back with his wife and started demanding the house for himself. His wife is backing him up, saying things like, “That girl is too young to handle a house! This belongs to us.” I got confused about why are they demanding things all of a sudden."

"My son kept shouting, “I’m your son—you owe me this! I should have a right to this.” I was taken aback by the sudden change in his attitude. It hurts so much to hear him talk this way, especially since he’s had no problem leaving me and his daughter in the past. I asked them to leave because their yelling and shouting had worn me down."

Thankfully the son and his wife were considerate enough to leave.

A day later they came back, and her granddaughter was around this time.

She wrote, “After that day, they came back while I was having dinner with my granddaughter. I invited them in and asked them to join the dinner too. I can see my granddaughter feeling uncomfortable. My son opened up the inheritance immediately, and my granddaughter was surprised.
I told him that I just said that to let him know that his daughter would be alright because of it. My granddaughter said, ‘After you abandoned me, you just came back for the inheritance? Not even for me?’ My heart ached after hearing my granddaughter’s words.”

“My son turned to me and said, ‘So you’re turning my own daughter against me. If you don’t give the house back, forget that you have a son!’ My granddaughter furiously responded to what he said, ‘You never acted like a son and even a father to me.’
Meanwhile, his wife complained, ‘He lost his job because he was stressed about his family. Don’t you care about his well-being?’ I was at a loss, the whole situation was driving me to tears, and my health wasn’t great, so the constant fighting was taking a toll.”

She added, "I told my granddaughter how this whole situation happened. She speculated that he just wanted the house now because he was planning to sell it for the money. She also thinks that they fought because of his father being jobless and the way to win her back is by owning the inheritance. I was shocked, I didn't know that my son would do something like that."

"I wasn't going to listen to them until I found an old will my late husband wrote, stating that the house should go to our son after I pass away. He believed our son would be responsible by then. Now I feel torn.
Do I ignore my husband’s wishes and keep the house in my granddaughter’s name? Or do I risk giving in, just to keep the peace? I love my son, but I also want to protect my granddaughter. I’m stuck and need some advice. What would you do if you were in my shoes?"

You are in a hard position and is currently weighing down what is for the best. Understandably, you feel torn between honoring your late husband’s wishes and protecting your granddaughter. You clearly love both your son and granddaughter, but this is a decision that requires careful thought.

Considering the legal aspects: Since you have already transferred the house to your granddaughter, she is now the legal owner. If you wish to change that, you would likely need her consent. As for the husband's will, you can reflect on his intentions. He left it in hopes that your son would be a responsible person in the future. You can ponder and decide if your son is responsible enough to deserve the inheritance.

Additionally, think about your own values. If keeping the house in your granddaughter’s name feels right to you, then you shouldn’t feel guilty for making a decision that aligns with your heart. However, if you want to find a way to support your son while still protecting your granddaughter, you might consider a compromise—such as allowing him to stay in the house under certain conditions or helping him in another way.

This situation is tough, but your decision should be based on what’s best, not guilt or pressure. Ignoring a husband's will may become an emotional burden, but it would also be nice to consider that your husband will respect and support your decision because of the situation. It is best not to feel pressured, take decision-making slowly, and seek professional help if problems arise. Trust yourself and set boundaries with love.

Here's another inheritance story about a young woman who received a financial inheritance from her grandparents, but her mom asked her to help their family, and she refused. Her story and reason are here for you to find out.