I Borrowed Money From My Son—And It Almost Destroyed His Family

Sometimes when money and family mix, problems arise. That’s why the saying, “Don’t mix family with business” may hold true. In this case, a mom decides to borrow money from her son, but what happens when she can’t pay that loan back?

This is what the mom has to say.

Dear Bright Side,

After retiring, I borrowed some money from my son to pursue my new photography hobby. He wasn’t thrilled about it but agreed anyway.

About a year later, he asked for his money back, but I was broke. The next day, he said, “It’s your fault that my wife can’t attend her sister’s wedding. She has to buy her a gift and arrange a trip, but now it’s impossible.”

I felt awful and guilty. His wife is demanding the money, causing constant arguments and tension. I promised to talk to her, but she’s refusing to listen. What should I do? I never wanted to cause this much harm to my son’s family.

Sincerely,
Kathy S.

Make sure your son understands your sincerity.

Thank you for sharing your story with us, Kathy. This situation feels huge right now, but you can handle it one step at a time.

The first thing involves confronting your son, saying something like, “I need you to know how terrible I feel about putting you in this position. Seeing the stress this is causing you and your wife is breaking my heart. I never, ever wanted my situation to spill over into your marriage.” You want to make him understand that you’re acknowledging the real pain he’s feeling.

Get a clear, specific number.

Ask your son, “Can we please sit down and write out the exact amount I owe you? I need to see the full number to make a real plan.” Having a fixed target is much less overwhelming than a vague debt. Write it down on paper together.

Create a payback plan.

Get creative and think about what’s around you that could turn into cash. Maybe you have a piece of jewelry you no longer wear or some camera equipment you could sell. You could also put your photography skills to work by offering to take holiday portraits for neighbors or digitize their old photo albums. Even pet-sitting for a week or babysitting for a few hours could bring in the funds to show you mean business.

For your daughter-in-law, actions are your best bet.

She’s too upset to listen to words, and that’s understandable. Don’t try to talk to her until you’ve done the steps above. Once some payment has been complete, you can approach her and formally apologize that you couldn’t pay your son back sooner.

While this mom made a mistake by borrowing more than she could repay, that doesn’t mean all hope is lost. She can find ways to pay back her son and create a solid income to support her hobby as well. For those, like the mom, looking to get more money, check out this simple money trick from Japan that can make you 35% richer.