One of our readers wrote to us with a story many people will recognize — especially around the holidays. For years, hosting New Year’s dinner at her place wasn’t just a tradition; it was an expectation. She paid, cooked, cleaned, and never complained.
This year, she finally said no — and everything changed.
Hi Dear Bright Side Team!
For years, New Year’s dinner at my place wasn’t a tradition — it was an expectation. I paid $700 for 7 people! Cooked for days, and cleaned before and after. Everyone else showed up with empty hands and big appetites.
This year, I finally said it out loud in the group chat:
“I can host, but we need to split the cost.”
The responses were immediate and ugly.
“So you’re charging admission now?”
“If you can’t afford it, just say that.”
“Hosting was your idea.”
That’s when it clicked. They didn’t see generosity. They saw a free ride.
So I canceled. No arguing. No explaining. Just: “I’m not hosting this year.”
Two days later, I got a message from someone I barely talk to in the group.
They said, “I thought you should know — they’ve already picked another place. They’re splitting the cost... and calling it a ‘new tradition.’”
That’s when it hit me.
They didn’t miss me.
They missed what I paid for.
So I left the group chat without a word.
No grand confrontation. No speech. Just an exit.
And for the first time in years, the New Year feels lighter — not because I’m celebrating, but because I finally stopped funding a room I was never valued in.
Thank you to our reader for sharing this story — and for reminding us that “tradition” shouldn’t mean exhaustion for one person. If you have a holiday tale of your own, feel free to send it our way. We’re listening.
With the cost of living rising, hosting Christmas dinner is no longer just about cooking a big meal — it’s a financial event. And according to new research, almost half of all Brits (46%) now ask guests to chip in for food and drinks on the big day.
So... is it rude to charge for Christmas dinner? Or is it simply realistic?
Etiquette and financial experts say one thing clearly: You’re not wrong for asking loved ones to contribute — as long as you do it the right way.
Below, specialists explain why charging is becoming more common, how to bring it up without hurting feelings, and the rules that keep holiday cheer intact.
Former royal butler Grant Harrold says hosts shouldn’t feel bad for asking people to share the cost.
Hosting is getting more and more expensive. It’s completely reasonable to ask guests to contribute — just agree on it beforehand.
Money-saving expert Matthew Sheeran agrees, noting that families spend an average of £1,800 hosting Christmas. “Food, drinks, decorations, utilities — it adds up. Sharing the cost makes the day fairer for everyone.”
This doesn’t mean charging guests like a restaurant. It simply means being upfront: “Can everyone put in something toward the meal?”
That’s it — simple, clear, and kind.
If guests are contributing actual money, experts recommend going “Dutch” — divide costs evenly among adults.
A few exceptions might apply:
As Grant puts it: Etiquette is about being polite and thinking of others.
IF they went to a CLUB, RESTAURANT, or even a COMMUNITY CENTER, they WOULD HAVE TO PAY, for some or all of their costs. What makes it YOUR responsibility to pay for EVERYTHING? You are well done with the lot of them. Now you can go out, if you want, and be able to afford an Uber or Taxi, to get you there and home. HAPPY NEW YEAR 🎉🎊🍾🎇🥂
Don’t wait until Celebration Day to mention money, don’t assume everyone is comfortable splitting costs, and don’t shame anyone who can’t afford it. Experts say you should:
All of this keeps the holiday peaceful, fair, and drama-free — exactly how Christmas should feel.
And remember: Holidays feel a lot brighter when everyone shares the load — not just the host.
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