I Complained About My Husband, Then My MIL Shared Something I Didn’t Expect

Relationships can get really tough when one person feels like they’re carrying all the weight, while the other seems checked out. It’s a draining dynamic, and it’s more common than we’d like to admit. Between daily stress and unspoken expectations, it’s easy to reach a breaking point without even realizing it.

When rest isn’t shared.

My husband took the day off to get some rest from work, totally fair. But I was hoping it would also mean<strong> he’d help a little around the house.

Instead, he spent most of the day playing video games in bed, while I juggled our toddler, work, and made dinner.

Silent burnout.

I didn’t say anything at first because I figured maybe he really did need the break. But as the day went on, I just kept feeling more and more invisible. Like, I needed a break too, but apparently moms don’t get those?

Anyway. After dinner, I had to swing by my in-laws’ to drop something off. My MIL asked how my husband was doing, and I just said, “He’s fine, just took a day off to rest.”

Double standard.

She immediately got concerned. Like, too concerned. She started asking a million questions about his health, if he was okay, and why he took a day off. I was standing there holding our toddler, completely drained, and she’s acting like he’s bedridden with the plague.

I kind of snapped and said, “He’s not sick, just tired. He played video games all day.”

The audacity of it all.

Anyway, I was about to leave, just grabbing my keys, and she suddenly goes, “Hold on,” and starts digging through this random tote bag by the door. She pulls out this old photo, it’s her, like probably my age, holding a baby and standing in this messy living room.

She stares at it for a second and then hands it to me like I’m supposed to get it. Then she just says, kind of out of nowhere, “I guess I never really talked about it. Men always got away with stuff like that. We are just supposed to deal with it.”

Snapped from the silent load.

I had her words in my mind all evening, and somehow they got on my nerves too. I snapped again, when my husband couldn’t even get our daughter ready for bed properly.

That’s when I realized, when I’m sick or tired, I don’t get to rest, so why should he? Now I’m left wondering if I’m asking for too much, or if I’m just exhausted from always doing it alone.

Thank you for sharing your story! We’ve put together some advice that might help!

• Don’t bring it up in the moment, wait until he’s not defensive. — Wait until your husband’s not in “rest mode” or glued to a screen. Bring it up when things are chill, maybe during a quiet walk or while doing dishes together. Say something like, “Hey, can I tell you how that day felt for me?” Keep it personal, not accusatory.
• Try to be clear next time, spell it out. — Before his next day off, set the expectation early. Like: “Hey, if you’re staying home tomorrow, can we split a few tasks? I need help with the toddler and dinner.” Assume nothing. People don’t always not care, they’re just not wired to read minds like we wish they were.

Remember, even small conversations can lead to big shifts in understanding and support. You deserve a partnership that feels balanced, and it’s never too late to work toward that together. Have you ever been in a similar situation? We’d love to hear your story, you’re not alone in this.