Once our children leave the nest, it's hard to imagine them coming back. However, this is what happened to Claudia's stepdaughter, who lost her job and needed to move back in. She refused unless her stepdaughter agreed to pay rent, creating heavy tension in the family and escalating the situation. Feeling distressed, Claudia wrote to us asking for advice.
This letter drips with bias ... 90% chance daughter is nowhere near as bad as described and op is the lazy, entitled one. The house was daughter's before it was stepmother's ... she'll let op know what the rules are, and if stepmonster can't take it, she knows where the door is. Leave the keys and the checkbook on the table when you leave. Her toxicity, lack of charity and failure to commit to the family that adopted her won't be missed.
Get out while the getting is good! Your husband has double standards for his brat daughter and his wife! Wifey is on the losing end of things!
Take it as a sign that should you husband die your likely to have no rights to the house as it sounds like you moved in with him.
If you did then the child has more rights to it then you do. If you can deal with this then talk to your spouse on how this could be harmful after so long ofa period ( no job how is she to pay you) then he should start rent .
Pack your own things up along with your mom's and leave. If he isn't going to respect you then you shouldn't stay because it isn't ever going to be a peaceful coexistance between you and your step daughter. She is always going to try to one up you and your husband is going to let her do it.
Maybe get over yourself and figure out why you're so jealous of his daughter. YTA Claudia.
No, she isn't. Sounds like she was a spoiled brat growing up and he should put his wife's feeling first. The wife is not saying no. The wife is saying there are conditions. I say she should pack her things up as well and move out. If she has been paying for things around the house. Sue for half. She needs a husband that puts her first.
Agreed
I disagree. Look at the spiteful language she's using to describe the girl.
It's only spiteful language if it isn't the truth!!! The daughter sounds like she intends to rule the roost and it almost sounds like the husband intends to let her. Don't be intent on leaving but on the other hand don't be surprised if you eventually feel you have to to maintain your own sense of peace. Your stepdaughter sounds like she and her father intend to start a 'my way or the highway ' campaign.
Hello Claudia! Thank you for sharing your story with us. We have some tips that we hope can be helpful to you.
Organize a family meeting with your husband and stepdaughter to discuss the situation openly and calmly. Consider involving a neutral mediator, such as a family therapist, who can facilitate the conversation and help ensure everyone's feelings and concerns are heard.
Also, emphasize the difference between your mother’s short visits and your stepdaughter’s potential long-term stay.
Consult with a legal advisor to understand your rights regarding the property and establish clear financial agreements.
Draft a written agreement specifying the terms of your stepdaughter’s stay, including rent, household responsibilities, and a timeline for her to find employment and her own place. This will help set clear expectations and protect your interests if conflicts arise.
This issue can be solved by proposing alternative living arrangements for your stepdaughter. For instance, suggest that your husband help her find a nearby apartment or support her in securing temporary housing.
Offer to assist with budgeting or finding resources that can aid her independence. This shows your willingness to support her while maintaining the boundaries you feel are necessary in your home.
Consider individual counseling to explore your feelings and develop coping strategies for dealing with the situation. Reflect on what aspects of the situation are most upsetting to you and why.
Counseling can provide you with tools to manage the stress and emotional impact, and help you approach the situation with a clearer, more balanced perspective. It might also help you find ways to strengthen your relationship with your husband during this challenging time.
Another story involving housing tension is Josie's. She gave her house to her recently married son, thinking he would start a family there. However, things took an unexpected turn, and she ended up feeling betrayed and lied to by her son and his wife. The heartbroken mother shared her story with us and asked for advice.
Your step daughter is correct , although it's your house but it's her dad's house also . She is the daughter of your husband , the husband also has a right to facilitate his daughter .
Nope leave him with his precious daughter he feels that way. She is NOT a child but he's treating her as such. Huge red flag. Call an attorney ASAP.
