I Didn’t Tell My Date That I Earn More Than Him and Let Him Pay the Check

According to a 2019 survey, the majority of men think that they should be the ones footing the bill on a first date. At the same time, more women than men believe that going 50/50 is the right approach. And having a woman pay on the first date isn’t a very popular option.

One Bright Side reader got into conflict with her date after he paid the check and then found out that she earns more than him. We received the following letter and wanted to help her out.

We at Bright Side got together to help Susan with some advice, and this is what we came up with:

• If you catch misunderstandings early, you have a better chance at good communication with your partner. In case you still want to keep in touch with Oliver, you can contact him and explain the situation from your point of view. You can tell him that you never lied about your job, but he simply never asked about it and wrongfully assumed that you were trying to brag.
• Communicate clearly and confidently that you didn’t like that the conversation was somewhat one-sided. The conflict between the 2 of you could have been avoided if your date simply asked about your career when he was talking about his. It’s understandable that Oliver was excited about his new job, but on a first date, both people should get to know each other equally well.
• Offer a re-do. Even though your first date ended badly, that doesn’t mean the next one has to as well. If you want to, you can invite Oliver on a second date and offer to pay this time. It takes a lot of time to get to know a person well, and if your friends thought you’d be a great match, they might still be right.

• It’s also completely understandable if you don’t want to go on a second date with Oliver again. Even though you had high expectations for your meeting, a bad first date is not the end of the world. You can ask your friends to set up some other blind dates for you, or you can download a couple of dating apps and try to meet new people.
• Explain to your friends the reason why they are being too harsh with you, and tell them that you didn’t do anything wrong on the date. Oliver might have told them something entirely different, so it’s important to tell your friends your side of the story.

We hope our advice can be of help to you and that you’ll have much more pleasant dates in the future.

Have you ever been on a blind date? How did it go? What would you do if you were in Susan’s situation? Tell us in the comment section below.