I Have to Skip My Best Friend’s Birthday for Chemo, and She’s Furious

A best friend usually means a person who is supportive, stands behind you all the time and certainly doesn’t blame you for things you’re not responsible. Like having a chemo session on the same day as her preplanned 25th birthday party. Well, that’s what happened with superspreader90, who shared her story on Reddit.

Rescheduled appointment

It’s my (24f) best friend’s 25th birthday on Saturday. We had planned to go out for dinner and drinks with some of our friends. I have lupus, and I’ve been getting chemo for the last couple of months to try and treat it. She’s well aware of this and even came with me to my last session, although she spent most of the time texting her boyfriend.

I ordered her this cake from this super cute little bakery in our town and was gonna bring it with me to the restaurant for her. I was supposed to have my chemo session next Monday, but they had to reschedule it for Saturday.

“This is how she reacted when I told her I wouldn’t be able to come to her birthday.”

So I got a text message from her about Saturday when I broke the news to her that I won’t be able to go as the hospital rescheduled my chemo for Saturday morning. But I asked another friend to pick up the cake, and she will bring it to the dinner.

She simply reacted with, “You said it’s in the morning, right? What time is your appointment exactly? Because the reservation isn’t until like 8 pm, so I think you’ll be fine, no? I’m fine with someone else bringing the cake, but I don’t see how you wouldn’t be able to come.”

I just tried to explain to her that my appointment was at 10, but it takes a long time, and I’ll be super wiped afterwards, and I’ll probably spend the whole day in bed.

Her reply was even more shocking to me, “Well, isn’t that a little selfish? It’s like a 10-minute procedure, and I’m sure the time between 10 am and 8 pm will be enough to recover. I feel like you’re just using something you know you can hold over me to get out of something that is important to me. I only turn 25 once.”

Ruining the vibe of her party

I didn’t understand what she was talking about, “Umm, what? It is not 10 minutes; I’m usually in there for 3 hours? You know that because you came with me last time... I am not trying to hold anything over you, I’m just saying I’ll be super sick, and not up for coming out.”

But she wasn’t convinced and was focusing only on her dinner, “Well, for starters, it was a little over 2 hours, plus what do you think the vibe is gonna be like when people ask where you’re at, and I have to say you’re recovering from chemo? I genuinely think you are holding it over me, and I’m not going to let the tabooness of the situation stop me from calling you out...”

I tried to explain to her that her night would be ruined if I was going, “What do you think the vibe is gonna be like if everyone is trying to have a good time at dinner, and I’m in the bathroom throwing up? I really didn’t think you were like this, like this is crazy...I’ll send Fiona the details of the bakery to pick up your cake, but I’m definitely staying home now.”

Her reply was hurting even more, “As if you were ever gonna come,” while she also added two laughing emojis.

Outraged commenters stood behind her.

The disturbing story got many outrageous responses, with almost every commenter condemning the birthday girl:

• “She’s not a friend. If she was your friend, she would never ever ask you to attend something as silly as her birthday when you are having chemo in the morning. So selfish and childish behavior.” © Ok-Vegetable-169 / Reddit
• “Just want to check my notes here... You’re having chemo...to hold something over...HER?! That’s a level of willful cognitive dissonance to which only a few can aspire and fewer achieve. She landed it with little effort.
  Wow! Ditch her. She is NOT a friend.” © TicoSoon / Reddit
• “Chemo? They should cancel their attendance to the party and go with you to hold your hand. No friend.” © findingmoore / Reddit
• “Wait, this is insane. My jaw dropped with how this ’friend’ responded. I cannot believe their selfishness. I hope all goes well with your treatment and that you’re able to get the rest you need and not deal with this type of drama!” © Anxious-Rate3904 / Reddit

So, friends don’t always behave as you would expect them to in certain situations, like what happened with another woman. To learn more, just read our other article, My Best Friend of 20 Years Invited Me to Her Wedding, and It Was the Worst Day of My Life.