I Refuse to Give My Childfree Daughter My Inheritance

2 months ago

I Refuse to Give My Childfree Daughter My Inheritance

When I tell people this story, they either call me heartless or say they totally understand where I am coming from. I am honestly not sure why some think I am the bad guy here, which is why I am putting it out online. What would you have done in my place?

My wife and I always dreamt of having grandkids. My daughter is my only child. We worked hard all our lives. We saved, invested in property, and built something solid to pass on.

I always imagined grandchildren running around, knowing that everything we worked for would go to them one day. But now, that picture is gone.

Stersil

month ago

Potential grandmother wants grandkids. So what. She can adopt some. Daughter is not here to heal her mother's a dreams. I wanted children from the age of nine so I knew that I would always be a mother. However my mother never ever brought up the idea of grandchildren those decisions were best left to me and my husband. She was not a narcissist she understood those decisions were my choice. This lady should get some therapy. She always imagined grandkids running around well what if she only have one child herself.? She does not have the responsibility of rearing the children waking up in the middle of the night wiping runny noses and all the other sacrifices that must be made when you have a child. I'm sure there are organizations where you can adopt a grandchild who has no grandparents. She should think those organizations out.

My daughter is now 36, unmarried, and doesn’t plan on ever having babies. I strictly told her to reconsider or bid her inheritance goodbye. She laughed and left.

The idea of my life’s work just ending with me is hard to accept. For me, inheritance is about family legacy. It is about passing down something that keeps our name alive. If there are no kids, no grandkids, then what is the point?

I told my daughter I will leave everything to my nephew, who already has a family. At least with him, I know my legacy will continue.

When she heard this, she exploded. She called me controlling and said I was punishing her for living her life how she wants. She said inheritance should be about love, not conditions.

Cheryl Cadwell

2 weeks ago

YOUR DAUGHTER IS THE LEGACY, the rest is just stuff. My late FIL was frugal to the point of making a unhoused person look rich. I tried to convince him to spend his money on himself and my MIL. Nope, he left it all for the 5 adult children and it was a cluster fuck. He couldn't see that his children (and that is how he always treated them, like children) were grown up people who could make their own way. I loved that old man and regardless of what he left my spouse and the other kids,
( I was his and my MIL's caregiver for the last 5 years of their lives and got the joy of his friendship. His own kids didn't have that). I miss him and listening to his stories. It's a pity that you can't see past what YOU WANT. Guess YOU should have had more kids to try and push into following YOUR wishes. You lose now.

We had a huge argument. She accused me of valuing hypothetical grandkids more than her. She said I was throwing her away just because she does not want children. I told her it is not about punishing her, it is about making sure everything I worked for does not die with me.

Now she barely speaks to me. I froze when I found out later that she is telling everyone in our connection that I am heartless and “old school”. I think she is selfish, and well, it is MY money. I have the right to do whatever with it, just like her right to remain childfree.

I know many people today choose to be childfree. I get that times have changed. But is it really wrong to want my bloodline to continue? Is it wrong to tie my inheritance to that?

If you liked this letter, read this another intriguing story: I Refused to Pay a $150 Tip at a Family Dinner—Now Everyone’s Mad at Me

Comments

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EnteHS dUb

month ago

You made your choice, it IS your money, but it cost you your only child. Reap the consequences of your decisions, justified or not. At the end of the day, it’s obvious you only ever saw your child as an incubator and egg storage. You don’t love her, and honesty I think you lied to yourself when you say you DO love her.

If I were in her shoes, I’d respect your decision but I’d never speak to you again. I’d hate you, not because of the money, but because you made it clear she’s nothing but a uterus to fulfill your dreams.

Maranatha Schraag

month ago

Ah, yes...women are only worth the kids they birth, sons preferred. That old chestnut. He can do whatever he wants with his money. She can do whatever she wants with her body. He can't try to buy her uterus as an incubator and somehow think she won't be upset about that.

Charles Burdine

month ago

Are you familiar with the Parable of the Prodigal Son. The father gave equally to his well-behaved son and his problem child. Unfortunately you only have a 'prodigal' child. You have no idea what these fantasy grandchildren would be like. They might have squandered your legacy. Consider creating a large donation or endowment, based on your legacy obviously. And consider other ways to pass your knowledge and love on to children who don't get that kind of attention through volunteering. Or SULK.
Whichever seems more in line with your personality.

tommy marsh

4 weeks ago

You worthless pig of a human being. I hope you will be satisfied with your life when you are alone sitting in your own excrement and dementia. I'm pretty sure your nephew isn't going to wipe your backside and deal with your second childhood. You said it yourself, he has kids. He doesn't want to take care of a worthless old man too.

barbara Nivens

3 days ago

Enjoy what's going to be the rest of your life, which is going to be lonely since you no longer have a daughter. Maybe you should look back on how you raised her? You could be why she chose to not have them. Just don't ask yourself why nobody bothers to remember/visit you. IF your nephew does it's because you bought him.