I think you’re wrong to tell your daughter that she won’t have an inheritance because she doesn’t have children & doesn’t plan to.
I have several different ways of viewing this.
First, if this is your plan, why tell her? Just let the will be read at that time, and the explanation could be “he wanted the family to continue so he”ll leave his money to the nephews.”
Maybe your reason to tell her is to spur her on to have kids. That’s not likely to change her mind. So that plan didn’t work.
Perhaps you could split the inheritance between your daughter and your nephew.
But know this: just become you leave it to your nephew doesn’t mean that he will pass it on to his kids. It will be his money then and he can do as he wants.He may want to spend it on a vacation home, or pay for all of their college expenses. You also need to realize that your great nephews may use the money as they wish also. There is a train of thought that says “the 1st generation earns it, the 2nd generation spends it, & the 3rd generation squanders what’s left of it.”
The other thing to consider is that she is only 36. When she’s 46 she may decide to adopt some kids, or when she turns 40 she may decide to have a baby. You don’t really know. I’ve heard of that kind of thing happening. But the more you talk about it and try to push it, the more she’s likely to dig in her heels. People don’t like to be told what to do in terms of how they live their lives.
I think you should apologize to your daughter for not recognizing how she wants to live her life..You can say that you said words in anger that you don’t really mean, unless you still want to cut her out. Maybe you can suggest to her that you plan to leave her 50/75%, and with the rest, you plan to donate it to charity in the name of your family, or set up a scholarship fund in your name, with a plan to make that money grow, so as to continue giving.
But however, you choose to handle it, I do think that you’re incredibly wrong. If my father had said something like that to me, I would have been very hurt, angry, and it would’ve made me think that he just saw me as someone to supply him with grandchildren, & didn’t see me as the person I had become. It would also make me think “ My own father thinks that I’m so shallow I would change my mind over money.” You need to fix this soon, before it kills your relationship with your only child.
