Weddings are usually full of happiness, but sometimes, the parents aren’t feeling the same joy as the bride or groom. One of our readers shared how her divorced parents agreed to be civil and spend the day together to support her. Sadly, things didn’t go as smoothly as hoped.
Dear Bright Side,
When I was 18, my parents split up, and since then, they’ve kept their distance. I usually spend time with them one-on-one because they haven’t spoken in years.
My mom is super focused on her career. She divorced my dad because she felt like he wasn’t pulling his weight. He’s a musician, and she always brought in more money, which caused a lot of tension.
Fast forward five years to my wedding day, I invited them both, hoping they could at least be civil. My dad gave me a watch as his gift, which meant a lot to me.
Then my mom handed me a small box and threw in a jab at my dad’s gift, saying, “That’s all you can afford?” Inside her box was a key to an apartment. While the gesture was generous, the way she delivered it made my dad feel small.
I asked her to be kinder, but she interrupted with, “It’s what you really deserve, not the bare minimum.” I looked at my dad and saw he was holding back tears. That’s when I gave the key back and told her, “Say sorry to him now or leave.”
She didn’t say a word. She just gave me a cold stare and walked out. Now I feel guilty.
We really appreciate you opening up to us. It’s not easy to talk about personal struggles, and we’re here to help. We’ve put together a few ideas that could guide you through this and hopefully make things a little easier to handle.
It’s easy to second-guess yourself after things settle, especially when emotions run high. But take a step back and ask yourself why you reacted the way you did. You were standing up for respect and fairness in a moment that was supposed to be about love and unity.
Reaching out to your mom doesn’t mean saying you were wrong. That small olive branch might open a door without you having to abandon your boundaries.
This experience taught you a valuable lesson: sometimes, no matter how much we hope, old wounds don’t heal just because the calendar says “wedding.”
Moving forward, make it clear to both parents that shared events come with expectations of mutual respect. That way, you can celebrate life moments without dreading emotional ambushes.
Her comments about your dad hurt you, but the way you responded may have made things worse. Saying sorry for asking her to leave doesn’t mean you’re okay with what she said, it just shows you care about fixing the relationship.
You could tell her that her words were painful for both you and your dad. Let her know you appreciated her gift, but that putting your father down in front of everyone wasn’t okay. Ask her kindly to keep any negative opinions to herself in the future if she wants to be part of both your lives.
Make sure he knows how much you appreciate the gift he gave you and that your mom’s harsh words don’t reflect how you feel. Remind him that you care deeply, respect him, and value everything he’s done for you.
Spend some quality time together. These little moments go a long way in showing love and keeping your connection strong.
Love can take surprising turns, especially when life throws you a curveball. One of our readers, who’s expecting a baby, recently shared a moment that left her shaken. During a crisis, her husband chose to rescue his cat rather than help her. She’s still struggling to understand his choice.
We know what feels good. We know what feels bad. Never regret how you stand up to people who treat good people poorly. I am sure your father is a great person. Your mother needs to realize she is your mother not your master. Show her your above petty. My mother still feels my wrath. My actions brings her back to me....kindly
