I Made the Toughest Parenting Choice About My Daughter’s Best Friend

Parenting is full of beautiful moments—but it’s also filled with impossibly hard decisions. And friendships are a vital part of childhood, shaping how kids see the world and themselves. As parents, we strive to do what’s best for our children, even when the right choice isn’t clear, and the consequences can weigh heavily on the heart.

Trusting a gut feeling.

My 8-year-old daughter has a friend, Ava. She is a good girl, but still something always felt off.

Then, the other day while we were all playing outside, Ava did something I never expected from a child. She has serious behavioral issues. She hits, breaks things, and completely ignores or disrespects adults.

When a line was crossed.

This time, she took it to another level — she spit in my face and said she hated me. Right in front of my daughter. I was furious. I asked her and her mother to leave immediately.

Her mom made her to apologize, but I could tell it meant nothing. And honestly, I’ve seen this before. Her mom — who happens to be a good friend of our family — constantly excuses or ignores Ava’s behavior. She never steps in.

A choice I had to make.

I’ve tried to be patient. I’ve given Ava more chances than I probably should have. But this was the final straw. I don’t want her around my daughter or my family anymore.

Then this morning, my daughter asked, “Is Ava coming to the Easter egg hunt?” No, sweetheart. She’s not.

Fair choice or overreaction?

Some might say I’m overreacting — that Ava’s just a kid going through a tough time. But I’ve seen enough. I’m not willing to let her behavior influence my daughter or risk something even worse.

There’s a line, and Ava crossed it a long time ago. Did I do the right thing... or was I being a bad mom? I’d truly appreciate any advice.

Thank you for sharing your story. We understand how difficult and overwhelming this must be, and we truly hope our advice brings you some clarity and peace.

Try trusting your instincts.

Practical wisdom built up through years of exposure to one’s child, an established reciprocity, a bond that enables an intimate form of knowing exclusive to parents. Parental intuition is powerful. If something consistently feels wrong, it probably is.

You witnessed behavior that not only crossed boundaries, but also directly affected you and your daughter. Trusting your gut in this case isn’t overreacting — it’s responsible parenting.

Consider your child’s well-being first.

We are all human, so it’s impossible to create a 24/7 perfect environment for our children. But we try our best to foster emotional safety, creating healthy boundaries and guidance, while also giving the child permission to be who they are.

It’s natural to worry about fairness or how others will perceive your choice. But at the end of the day, your daughter’s emotional and physical safety comes first. Removing a harmful influence from her life is not just appropriate — it’s essential.

Try being honest with your child.

The way you communicate with your child not only teaches them how to communicate with others, it shapes their emotional development and how they build relationships later in life.

As your daughter asks questions, continue to be honest in an age-appropriate way: “Sometimes people act in ways that aren’t kind or safe, and it’s our job to protect ourselves and others.” Avoid demonizing Ava, but stay firm in your decision.

Parenting doesn’t come with a rulebook, and sometimes the hardest choices are the ones that protect the people we love most. Every child is different, every family is different — and what feels right for one parent might seem harsh to another. Have you ever faced a situation like this? What would you have done?