I’m Done Babysitting My Sister’s Kids After She Publicly Humiliated Me

Being a sister can bring both joy and unexpected challenges, especially when it involves stepping into a caregiving role. While helping family is natural, setting boundaries is essential for personal well-being. A Reddit user recently shared how she struggled with being treated as her sister’s ’primary babysitter’ for the kids and the conflict that arose when she set limits, leading to a dramatic clash between them.

She wrote, [edited]

“I (26F) am the younger sister of ‘Emma’ (34F), who has three kids (7, 4, and 2). Emma has been a single mom for the past few years, and while I respect her hard work, I feel like I’ve been roped into this unofficial ‘secondary parent’ role without my consent, even though I love it at times—it is still stressful.

My sister relies on me as her primary babysitter. She’ll often ask me to watch the kids at the last minute because she ‘needs a break’ or wants to ‘run errands’ without the stress. I’ve canceled my plans more times than I can count to help her out, and I’ve done it because I wanted to, because she is my sister.

Last week was my best friend’s birthday. I’d been helping her plan it for weeks, and we were supposed to have this amazing girls’ night at a fancy restaurant, followed by karaoke—something I never get to do with how much I’m helping my sister. That morning, my sister casually texted, asking if I could watch her kids so she could ‘recharge.’ I explained I couldn’t and why. She simply replied, ‘No problem,’ so I assumed she found someone else.”

She went on saying,

“The next day, in front of all our relatives during dinner, she caught me off guard. Without warning, she went off on me, saying I’m ‘irresponsible,’ ‘self-centered,’ and that I ‘have no idea what it’s like to be a real adult’ since I don’t have kids of my own. She even went on about how she ‘sacrifices everything’ for her kids while I ‘party around like a teenager.’

I was mortified and honestly heartbroken. This happened in front of our parents, aunts, uncles—everyone.”

She added,

“After dinner, I told her that I was done babysitting until she could apologize and start treating me with respect. She’s been furious, saying I’m ‘abandoning’ her and that ‘family should be there no matter what.’ It made me feel really bad, and I felt as if I had abandoned her as a sister with this demand.

My mom, of course, took her side, saying I should ‘let it go’ because Emma is stressed and just needs my support as a single mom. I get that being a single mom is tough, and I am her sister and she helped me out a lot too, but on the other hand, I feel like I’m being guilt-tripped and treated like her backup parent instead of just a babysitter who can have other plans.

Was I wrong for saying enough is enough and setting this boundary?”

Other Redditors joined the conversation, siding with her and criticizing the sister for her thoughtlessness, leaving comments like:

• “How dare she!!!! She had children, you didn’t. Maybe if she was a little more responsible, she could handle her children herself. Again, how dare she?!” © Straight_Coconut_317/ Reddit

• “I’d take it a step further and,
  A) Make it public in a family chat or email that because you are so irresponsible, you won’t be babysitting her kids so she can get her nails done and go on dates.
  B) Follow it up with your mother and thank her for volunteering to help your sister because she is her family.” © Ditzykat105 / Reddit

• “Never babysit for her again, and move out as soon as you can. Your family openly takes you for granted. Your sister thinks you’re her servant.” © Goidelica / Reddit

• “My brothers would literally laugh in my face if I said anything remotely similar to what your sister said. She made the choice to have kids, and that comes with A LOT of sacrifices for HER, not for you. The kids have a father? He should be having some time with them, so that your sister can do whatever it is she wants/needs to do without the kids.” © maleficentwasright / Reddit

• “Anyone that calls me irresponsible will have me do the responsible thing of saying the babysitter is canceled for good. Hey mom, since you said I should let it go, you’re right. I’m letting it go to you!” © LunaPerry1980 / Reddit

• “You’ve been super supportive, but it’s not fair for her to publicly shame you like that. Setting boundaries is important, especially when you’re constantly being taken for granted. She needs to respect your time and your needs too. It’s not selfish to have plans of your own.” © PetalPotion99 / Reddit

• “Tell her you agree with her and that you are irresponsible. Since she and the family all feel this way, it would be horrible and dangerous to allow you to continue watching her children. I’m sorry she is a single mother, but everyone has to deal with the life fate gives them.
  Another potential strategy could be to pick one day/evening a week that you are willing to devote to her children, allowing her to have some free time, and stick to that plan. She would then need to have a backup plan with grandparents, other family members, or a hired babysitter to cover spur-of-the-moment times.” © GarbageSad5442 / Reddit

Another reader recently went through an emotional upheaval upon uncovering a hidden aspect of her twin sister’s past, which left her feeling deeply betrayed. Read her sincere letter here.