I Refuse to Babysit My Sister’s Kids for Free, Now Everyone Is Calling Me “Selfish”

When it comes to family, the expectation to help each other out is often taken for granted. However, there are limits to what can reasonably be expected, and this is especially true when it comes to the significant responsibility of childcare. In today’s story, one woman shared her perspective on why she made the difficult decision to not babysit her sister’s kids for free.

She shared what happened.

I (30F) am a stay-at-home mom to two young kids. My sister (28F) has three children and works a full-time job. Recently, she asked if I could babysit her kids every day after school until she gets off work.

I told her I’d be happy to help, but that I’d need some compensation since it would be a significant addition to my daily responsibilities. She exploded, saying that since I “don’t work” and “just stay home all day,” I shouldn’t need to be paid for it.

I was floored by her comment. Staying at home with two kids is a full-time job in itself, and adding three more kids to the mix is no small task. I tried to explain this to her, but she accused me of being selfish and not supporting her family.

Our parents have taken her side, saying I should be more accommodating because she’s working hard to support her family. Now, I’m being painted as the villain for expecting some form of compensation for the extra work. Was I wrong for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids for free because she doesn’t see my role as a stay-at-home mom as real work?

People stood on her side.

• “If your parents are ’on her side’ then they can step up and babysit for her. PROBLEM SOLVED.” celticmusebooks / Reddit
• “If she’s starting off with attitude, DO NOT take this on. With that ridiculous mindset and insulting belief, she will run you straight into the ground with demands — there’s not enough $$ in the world to make that worth it.” KnotDedYeti / Reddit
• “Since it’s not work, and it’s just sitting at home all day, she shouldn’t have a problem finding someone to watch 3 kids for free. Oh, and I’m sure you are expected to pay for the after-school snacks, since you make enough money working for free.” Asron87 / Reddit

• “As always, the person making an incredibly selfish demand yells ’selfish’ at the person who stands up for herself and says no to them. Projection at its finest.” TheRealCarpeFelis / Reddit
• “If it’s zero work, why have anyone do it at all? Just let the kids stay alone in the house. If caregivers add no value at all, then really it’s just the same thing as if kids were alone, right? Wild that more people haven’t figured out this money-saving trick.” AITAthrowaway1mil / Reddit
• “If it’s such zero work, why can’t she do it while she’s working?” ryoryo72 / Reddit

• “Tell your parents that you too are working hard to support your family. If your sister doesn’t see you staying home with your children as a job, then tell her she should have no problem finding another stay-at-home parent to look after her children and see how that goes for her.” Ginger3950 / Reddit
• “Um... if it isn’t ’work’ why are daycares/after-school programs so expensive? You’re more than doubling your workload, and the expense of 3 hungry children every day isn’t cheap either. If she’s not willing to help out, then she can find this non-work for free elsewhere.” Several_Leather_9500 / Reddit
• “Based on her reaction, you shouldn’t do it even if she agreed to pay. She would never fully appreciate and recognize your help.” Used_Mark_7911 / Reddit

Refusing to babysit her sister’s kids for free is a decision grounded in a desire for fairness, mutual respect, and personal boundaries. While family is undoubtedly important, so is recognizing one’s own needs and limits. This decision is not about denying help to a loved one, but rather advocating for a balance that respects both parties.