I Refuse to Be My MIL’s Servant Just Because I Live Under Her Roof

Family & kids
3 months ago

Being newlyweds is challenging, particularly when an infant resides with your in-laws. Nineteen-year-old Rain finds herself in this exact predicament, frequently butting heads with her mother-in-law regarding household regulations. Rain feels overwhelmed, and the situation deteriorates further when she finally voices her concerns. Seeking guidance, she turned to us for support.

This is Rain’s letter

You need to apologize and thank her for letting you live there. Then you need to do the chores with a smile on your face. I hope you and your husband are working and paying something to help with the utilities and groceries. If not, you need to. If you can't afford to get your own place you have no business having a child. Check your birth control before you get pregnant again.

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Reply

Thanks for sharing your story with us, Rain! We have some advice that we hope will be helpful for you.

Engage in a clear and composed dialogue.

Arrange a peaceful, private discussion with your husband. Explain how much his and his mother’s actions hurt you, providing specific examples, such as the time your belongings were packed without your permission. Stress the need for unity as a couple, especially around family. Talk about the boundaries that everyone needs to respect.

Consider mediation or counseling services.

Think about bringing in an impartial third party, like a counselor or mediator. This person can assist in guiding a productive conversation between you, your husband, and potentially your mother-in-law. Mediation offers a structured setting where everyone’s concerns can be voiced, and solutions can be developed with the help of a skilled professional.

Look into temporary housing options.

Investigate alternative temporary living arrangements for you and your baby. Options might include staying with trusted friends or relatives or seeking out local shelters or housing programs for young parents. Finding a secure place away from the current stressful situation can offer you the space to think clearly and plan your next moves.

Understand your legal rights.

Learn about your legal rights as both a tenant and a spouse. Despite living with your in-laws, you may still have legal protections that apply to your situation. If needed, seek advice from a legal professional to understand your options regarding housing, child custody, and financial support.

Gwen, another young woman navigating a tense dynamic with her mother-in-law, experienced a challenging moment at her baby shower. Her mother-in-law’s gift was unexpectedly humiliating, triggering a swift escalation of emotions. Here’s a detailed account of what unfolded.

Preview photo credit Liza Summer / Pexels

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