I Stopped Providing for My Adult Sons—I’m Their Father, Not a Free ATM

Why is he still living with you as a grown adult? He moved out. Change the locks. The era of enabling his dependence on you has just ended when he left.

Don't let him come back. This is a grown persons temper tantrum. If you see him tell him your proud that he decided to growup.

He will return so be ready. He wants you to kill the fatted cow. It is time for him to learn, so first treat them all equally. Nothing for anyone. You have enabled some brats.

IMMEDIATELY CELEBRATE
When and if he lands in an actual homeless shelter, let it be

If this is real.spoiled child trying to scare and teach his parents.
Next move. Send text asking for key which if u don't get back change locks. Next month when his friend want him gone.
Gonna have a newchild begging acting right .not so ungrateful.

Sounds like there wasn't any helpful discussion about this which leads to what appears to be sudden outbursts like this.
If this is the first time they've said no, why would the son think there was another option?
He's an adult but a much younger and inexperienced one.
Some of this is on the parent tbh.
There's parents who have had difficult upbringings themselves who project themselves onto their children and say they're giving them the upbringing they never had. Like not being as strict or making sure their kids have whatever they ask for.
Trouble comes when that parent doesn't realise that unless the child has experienced what they experienced, their 'new and improved' methods are just the norm to them.
This causes frustration and disagreements.

Remember the laws first of all. We have to provide clothing, food and a roof with 4 walls until 18 if a parent chooses to buy them that 100$ pair of pants, it is up to the parent. Help them mentally through the adulting process, stop enabling them or it will be like that. It's hard to cut off ones that have been spoiled already, since their really was no teaching of life skills, gently is the only way I would think it would work. I know of a parent that left messages where there children would go saying no matter what I am here for you if you need me and hope they will take you up on that if anything goes wrong. Or when they realize you did it for the right reasons.

Your intentions were fine but your approach was too aggressive. You could have just said "No. But I can sit with you and help you plan on what you can do to get one.". What you said was insulting.

No you didn't do anything wrong you did right if he really loves for who you are he'll come back

You should have bought him the car. Sharing is caring

That was easy. You should have told him "no" sooner if that's all it took to get your adult son to move out. Buy him a bus pass so he has access to transportation and can't say you don't care.

He grown let him be a man then

How lucky for you he moved out on his own with somewhere else to go. Mine is 36 and I beg and plead for him to fly my coup. I've even locked him out of the house on several occasions when things escalate to an argument. He would just sit on the porch occasionally reminding me he's there by telling how cold or hungry he is. I cave every time

I have my own house and I let my mom and sister move in. We all chip in together on the bills and then we all each buy dinner which is the one meal we cook together but other than that we are each on our own for the other meals.

You let him get away with it . Let him go be an actual adult !

I personally don't understand why people continue to support their adult children. I have a 22 year old daughter. When she got her first job at 16 I stopped paying for all her wants. Hair done, nails, make up etc. Made her pay her own phone bill etc. when she turned 18 I also made her buy her own groceries and a small amount of rent. People need to learn to be adults. About 3 months of that and she decided if she was going to pay this anyway it might as well be for her own place. She moved out, first locally then out of state. I haven't given her a single cent since she left and she hasn't asked. Because she was raised to take care of herself and she does. But absolutely stop paying for stuff, stop buying ridiculous things. No adult needs a car as a birthday gift.

I agree, and I'm in the same spot. Stand your ground!!!!

Your son is throwing a temper tantrum. Stand your ground. There's something called public transportation. Let him learn how to use it. And if you keep bailing your children out there'll be no money left for your future. Think they'll help you then? No. If they can't even help themselves won't be able to help you then. And even if they chances are they won't.

He did this to manipulate you. If you give in it will never end. You finally stood up for yourself. You've discovered that his "love" is conditional and is not love. Now that you know you can stop buying it.

When he comes back, which he will, let him know things have changed. If he wants to move back in he can. As long as he pays rent and is responsible for his own care. Including food.

Don't look for him. Don't call his friends. It's what he's counting on to get his way. It's going to be hard but respect yourself.

Locate with phone numbers ? Call police, say your son have big debt of money after he asking money from you all the time ? Ignore him so he will croack by his own demise ?