I Refused To Give My Friend Food After Seeing Her Social Media

Friendships can be complicated, especially when life’s struggles start to weigh heavily on both people involved. Sometimes, what begins as support and kindness turns into tension and disappointment. This story explores how blurred boundaries and unmet expectations can challenge even long-standing connections.

College friend.

I have this friend, who I met in college—same dorm floor, same intro psych class. We were never best friends, but we kept in touch. I’ve loaned her money before. Let her crash on my couch once during a breakup. I knew she struggled.

Kindness tested.

So when old college buddies met and she said that she was so broke, she wasn’t able to afford to eat for days, I didn’t hesitate. I always prepare my meals and put them in freezer, so I offered to help her out. I packed a tote bag with a mix of pasta, soup, chicken stir-fry. Stuff that would last her a while.

Trust misplaced.

I was gonna drop the food off after work, but right before I went for the door, I saw her Instagram post, saying that she got a brand-new tattoo. At first I thought it was old—one of those “memory” throwbacks. But no. It was fresh. I stared at it for a while, I was quite in disbelief.

Helping hands burned.

Maybe someone paid for it? A friend? A client? I was stunned. I sent her a message, just asking if she still needed the food. I mentioned I saw her post. No attitude—just confusion. What I got back was rage.
She called me judgmental, said she always finds money for ink." Then she accused me of looking down on her. And before I could even reply, came the slurs. Personal. Sharp. Designed to sting.

When help hurts.

I didn’t write back. I put the bag of food back in the freezer. Sat down. Stared at my phone. I don’t know if she was ever really hungry—or if it was just about getting someone to care. It’s one of the situations that demotivates you to help others...

Thank you for sharing your story! Here are some helpful, practical reminders for you!

• Try to stay kind - Remember: one person doesn’t represent everyone. Just because one person misused your kindness doesn’t mean the next will. Most people are grateful. Don’t let one situation poison your view of humanity. Kindness is choosing to do something that helps others or yourself, motivated by genuine warm feelings. 
• Consider setting boundaries without guilt - Many of us avoid setting boundaries because we feel guilty when we set a limit or ask for something. Helping doesn't mean sacrificing your peace. It’s okay to say no or step back if someone takes advantage of your kindness.
• Try to protect your energy - Your mental energy is like a battery. Throughout the day, activities, people, and situations can either charge you up or drain your power. If a person drains you more than they uplift you, it’s okay to limit or end that relationship—even if they’re struggling. Your mental health matters too.

Even when friendships are tested, they can also teach us valuable lessons about empathy and boundaries. Have you ever faced a situation where kindness was challenged—and how did you find the strength to keep giving without losing yourself?